Lol, didn't say I was innocent, everyone masturbates, and we've come a long way (no pun intended) in terms of social conversations pertaining to sexual endeavors, but semantics should still be taken into account even when discussing something as trivial as this.
PS. I hate "chatspeek", or any...
I think in stead of calling the act of masturbation itself professional, you could rather call the act of keeping it a secret being "of expert level". That would be more accurate.