Now, I can't be certain, but I think that there may be an infinitesimally small chance that you might be... maybe... not entirely and 100% serious, perhaps.
I remember hearing someone in Valve (it may have been Gabe) talk about recorded playthroughs of the game in which the player would take a Barney through nearly the whole game. This was interesting to me, as it always seemed in Half-Life like you could get guards with you for quite a while...
I mean, of course it's in New Mexico, but where? It couldn't be in the Black Mesa in Santa Fe, that isn't owned by the government, and if Blue Shift is to be taken as canon then it has to be on a New Mexico Railway line.
The gravity gun and crowbar are getting a little old, maybe replace them with an M4 and an AK, and the game also needs more quick time events. Also dialogue trees. And multiple endings. And RPG elements. And a huge multiplayer campaign.
This sounds pretty good, but I think it would make more sense to have a large number of soldiers come to the Area of Unsafe Portal Activity, and yet have a large amount of them killed so that only three remain, the best of the best.
That's a little far fetched, don't you think. Maybe rather...
Anyway, Valve would probably tell you to stop wasting your money. Absolutely no petitions to get information on Half-Life 3 have worked in the past, and bribing them with money probably won't help.