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That joke about faces was certainly... SHEM-TACULAR!

What do you call an exploding prison made of plasma? A super-nova prospekt! Rimshot.

That using a dune buggy to run over crates containing valuable ammunition and medical supplies in the middle of a war-zone is a great idea, and that if I shoot or throw grenades at my friends nothing will happen. Half-Life 2 is the reason why I'm typing this in a prison for the manslaughter of...

Don't be ridiculous! Symbols and their links, on the other hand, they do break. http://www.linuxquestions.org/questions/linux-newbie-8/how-do-i-fix-a-broken-symbolic-link-252077/ BA-DUM-CLANG. Darn.

Pfft, facial animation. If Half-Life has taught me anything, there only need to be two animations: mouth open, and mouth closed. 100% realism.

"Confusing." -Baby Animal

Damn, I forgot to change her to him after copying & pasting the yo mama joke. Darn it. Also, symbols do break, they're extremely weak. Or maybe the sledgehammer I use to play them is too powerful.

Or maybe the G-Man accidentally awoke David Blaine rather than Gordon, so he's constantly floating 5 cm above the ground.

I guess so.

I'm sorry, but fat jokes are like Gabe Newell... THEY BOTH HURT (you cringe when you hear one, and when Gabe sits on you). Ba-dum-tshh. You want me to stop these fat jokes? Well I'm sorry, but... THAT'S JUST HOW I ROLLS! Ba-dum-tsh. Gabe is so fat her high school year book picture... IS AN...

Worth the *Weight™.

I went on Garry's Mod and spawned a bunch of characters in front of the scale, here is the information I got: Alyx Height: 1.7 m (5'7"). Antlion Height: 1.4 m (4'7"). Barney (Half-Life 1/2) Height: 1.75 m (5'8.8"). Combine Elite: Just under 1.8 m (5'10."). Fast Zombie Height: 1.2 m (3'11")...

Uh-huh, the Freeman is almost as beautiful as Dor- Wait, what? You mean my Dora jokes aren't funny anymore!? NOOO! That was my only way of making people think I was funny whilst in real life, I'm actually a bitter, hostile, and pessimistic loner. Anyway, while we're on the subject of newbies...

Did one just question the utter sincerity of my previous post? How dare you!? Kneel before the dark lord Dora, and hope that she shall show mercy!

The reason I chose that avatar because of how absolutely amazing Dora the Explorer is. I love how they leave it entirely up to speculation as to what her name is, thousands of theories have been created. Of course, they do leave some hints as to what it might be in the extraordinarily beautiful...

Wait, isn't this supposed to be a gravity gun video? It was? I was only focusing on the sideburns.

How could anyone in their right mind consider Gordon Freeman ugly? Just look at him, for God's sake!

What you read about only Gordon being able to use the gravity gun is untrue, as Alyx Vance uses it at the beginning of Half-Life 2: Episode Two to rip off and throw away the door to the train Gordon was stuck in, and picks it up so that she can give it to Gordon in Black Mesa East. I would...

I have heard lots of people saying that Gordon Freeman is either 6 or 6'1" tall, despite the fact that in the Hammer Editor 1 unit equals 0.75 inches, meaning that the player is about 4'7". Also, in the Half-Life 2 chapter Point Insertion, there is a scale on the wall which, once you go into...