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Lol. If only.... But seriously. We're not like Starforce over here. We don't just screw your PC and ask questions later. In fact, the only pain will be if he IS a pirate, from the mocking / flaming he will get. And his IP log that gets sent to the authorities. No "scans" needed.

I don't know if this has already been covered, but the whole "the cake is a lie" thing is clearly referring to the part seen on the trailers for the game where (in game) the trainer voice says something like "when you are finished report to ________ for a rest and some cake" (something like...

We have ways. We can ask people like this to do things that lets us know. The ones that do own it can prove it, and we help them out, and the ones that don't own it prove they don't own the game - without even realising it until it is too late. Shhhhhhhh. Hush now. Let the piracy check begin.

You say you get the crash with an offer of an error report. So.... what error is it reporting? Help us to help you. Also, are ALL your drivers up to date? Not just nVidia Drivers. Also, is your Direct X, etc up to date?

What OS are you using?

We are interested in some proof, as there are a few people with different ideas that they are all "sure" about, not another loud-mouth. No proof = shut up. Even if you think you are right. That's even why I am not discussing it at the moment, because I have no proof that my recollection is 100%...

Read it again. He NEVER said anything about not playing the game. He said that he put the game on his PC and NEVER used the CD key. I go by exactly what people type, and that is all he said on that. To be honest, I'm not interested in all of this "this is how it works" crap from people like...

Are you seriously trying to tell us that Steam / Valve gives you a CD key for security and to make sure you didn't just steal the game, with online verification and all that, but then doesn't require you to bind it to an account, even to play it? So now you are trying to say that CD keys don't...

You had to search the internet and get someone else to help you to actually turn off a part of your game, just so you could play it in Vista. Sounds like it works perfectly then. Yep, Vista's not broken at ALL. I mean, I forgot that it says in the install disk that if you actually want games and...

Blah blah blah. You obviously can't read, as I have not only said I HAVE installed from retail, although a long time ago, and I ALSO have said I'm not 100% sure about how the first time install goes down (as it was a while ago), and have invited anyone to find out more from a source like Steam...

Now we have both listed "the" way that an install goes down. Both ways are different however, so someone has it wrong. Without proof (from a Steam link I guess), you can't say your way is fact, and I guess neither can I. All we have is "he said, she said" (you can be the she!). Hopefully...

Then how would it know what "account name directory" to install to if you didn't need to log onto a Steam account first??????? Can it see into the future? Also, why would you need to install Steam first, if you didn't need to log onto a Steam account before installing the game? Look, I'm not...

I'll stop you right there. I'm pretty sure that even online sales get given an activation code - which is the same as a CD key. So how can you have NEVER used a code? Can someone who has bought off Steam confirm this? Do you get a serial code or not? Secondly, you say you installed for your...

Oh boy.

On your "computers PC"? What? Anyway, unless you installed your game for the first time just now, (which seems doubtful as you have over 100 posts here - why would you only NOW be installing it?) it doesn't ask you for your CD key. ONLY the first time, to bind it to your account. EVERY time...

It doesn't seem like it...

It's been a few years since I created my account, but I'm pretty sure you must enter the key first - why would they want to let you put the content on your PC BEFORE checking if you are legit? It would be too easy for some whizz to get around the copy protection. Harder if they can't even...

Irrelevant? Your entire operating system is causing problems WORLDWIDE. It doesn't work properly. An operating system OPERATES YOUR PC. If it is fu*ked, then so are you. And I assure you, it is fu*ked at the moment, especially for what you want to do with it: gaming. WE cannot make it work...

Oh for fu*ks sake. Why am I always the one who has to spell it out to you? YOU NEED AN ACCOUNT WITH AN HL2 KEY REGISTERED TO IT, TO INSTALL HL2. HIS ACCOUNT ISN'T WORTH PISS, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE A VALID HL2 CD KEY BOUND TO IT. I COULD MAKE STEAM ACCOUNTS ALL DAY, BUT THEY DON'T MEAN SH*T...

Of COURSE it is. That's why I said "hilarious". You REALLY think it's possible that Alanis would try and make a comeback with THAT song? Come on, wakey wakey.