29 no-no's for gamers over 30

[CptStern]

...which is about 3 of us on this board


1. Participate in LAN parties with minors
2. Quit your job to pursue a pro-gaming career
3. Start a Star Wars themed PC case mod in the living room
4. Ever use the jargon OMG, BBQ and WTF together in the same phrase
5. Pirate games - shouldn’t you have an income by now?
6. Find the idea of teamkilling funny
7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her
8. Refuse to play games that are rated lower than mature
9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2
10. Play any game with Princess Toadstool in it
11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words “hell,” “killer,” “death,” or ”-inator”
12. Yell “pwnt” in a public virtual space
13. Play a female character in an MMOG in order to troll for “Crying Game” victims
14. Disconnect when losing at Starcraft or any other RTS
15. Ninja loot
16. Get your gaming news from a print publication
17. Replace the letter S with a dollar sign when writing Microsoft, Sony, or PlayStation
18. Live in your parents’ basement to support a gaming habit
19. Break mice in a fit of rage after being served in an FPS game
20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum
21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap
22. Carry softcore anime porn on your PSP to show the guys at work
23. Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects
24. Play competitively against anyone under the age of 10
25. Read or write fanfiction
26. Yell or type, “Laggg” when losing an online game
27. Bogart the controller
28. Work at GameStop “just for the discount”
29. Type liek JeffK


to my knowledge I've only ever broken # 20 :E


http://www.joystiq.com/entry/1234000733067601/


btw according to the ESA the average gamer is 30 ..in your face suckers

 

[WhiteZero]

Whew, I still have 9 years before I have to follow those rules...
lol

 

[Sulkdodds]

11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words “hell,” “killer,” “death,” or ”-inator”

But 'Deathinator' would be such a cool name!

25. Read or write fanfiction

What if it's really good fanfiction?

....yeah, you should probably be writing your own stuff by that age.

 

[SpArKs]

Even though I'm 20 I will still vouch for those, nice one stern i no longer feel alone!

 

[CyberPitz]

9 years left.

Whew...alrhough I'm sure I'll break just about all of those.

Killer, the Hell Deathinator.

 

[Ennui]

Don't lie, Stern.

I saw you playing bf2 under the handle of SterninatortheHellKiller

 

[CptStern]

guilty as charged but you forgot the "ninjah" at the end

 

[Sulkdodds]

DEATHINATOR

god, if I didn't already have a name I'd call myself that.

DEATHINATOR

 

[Stigmata]

Helldeath Killerinator, anyone?

 

[bryanf445]

can you retire from gaming stern?

not saying you should, id cry

 

[CptStern]

no, why would I want to?

 

[Qonfused]

I've broken 4, 6, 12, 16, 20 and 23. Although, I'm much younger than 30.

 

[Ennui]

SupaSnipaSephirothKillaNinjah1337

 

[bryanf445]

no, why would I want to?

the arthritis!

 

[CptStern]

meh by then there'll be some sort of telepathy controller or something

 

[Beerdude26]

1. Participate in LAN parties with minors

QFT. Some 40-year old guy pwned me at BF2 D:

 

[VirusType2]

thats funny as hell

im 30 and i broke several of those rules

lol

 

[JNightshade]

I think the biggest no-no for all gamers is ending every single goddamn sentence with "lol", even if it wasn't funny in the least.

*stares at VirusType2*

 

[Sulkdodds]

Hey, jesus, is that baby for sale?

It is now! lol!

 

[RoyaleWithCheese]

Heh, nice list. I almost broke 1 rule last week when my nephew's 10 year old friend played some DOD:S on my pc. I'm over 30 and we agreed on exchanging xbox360 games when it comes out.
The little bugger had some great skills, killing a few nazis with the handgun when he was cornered, made me laugh

 

[Danimal]

Gah, I hate those names like "Deathkllrextreme" or when they have confusing clan tags "(^-^)TS_OK_LOL=--==== Deathkllrextreme"

But this thread reminded me of a Dawn-of-the-Dead style incident at a public LAN involving 30-year-old greasy men and my friend's "Rig"

"Nice rig... *Inaudible Breating*" We got swarmed quicker than a McDonalds at Etheopia, I tell you! D:




Oh my god, Jesus is drowning that man!

Sucks to be Judas, lol

 

[Direwolf]

Haha...I agree with them all, except for the "Get your gaming news from a print magazine." Not quite sure why thats so bad.

 

[VirusType2]

Haha...I agree with them all, except for the "Get your gaming news from a print magazine." Not quite sure why thats so bad.

Hmm maybe because "Nintendo Power" isn't the coolest thing for a 30 year old to be holding in their hand when you run into someone to impress at the check-out line.

but i use teh internet

... so i dunno, i guess thats still nerdy but at least thats more discrete. Lol imagine having a hot girl over for the night and in the morning i got a new nintendo power in my mailbox. ROFL

 

[CptStern]

Haha...I agree with them all, except for the "Get your gaming news from a print magazine." Not quite sure why thats so bad.

cuz gaming magazines are the equivilant of fashion magazines ...all fluff no substance

 

[Sulkdodds]

Oh no no no no. They're not quite that bad.

In fact they're not nearly that bad over in Britain.

 

[ComradeBadger]

I like fashion magazines

Well, leafing through a girlyfriend's

Oh, and you should change that to gamers over 18 really

 

[TheSomeone]

btw according to the ESA the average gamer is 30 ..in your face suckers

I knew that actually.

And those rules ought to apply to everyone .

 

[Adabiviak]

Good thing it's for those of us over 30! I used to break some of them when I was younger. Maybe it doesn't count, but in the arcade, I was called the Angel of Death for my skills at Samurai Shodown II, and, yes, if a little 7-year old girl stepped up and wasn't cool about things, she got the smack down too.

 

[Sulkdodds]

"If small children fear you, do not cry, for you are a god."

 

[Fat Tony!]

Oh, and you should change that to gamers over 18 really

Lies D:

 

[Pesmerga]

How about naming yourself ****ing douchebaginator

 

[CptStern]

Oh no no no no. They're not quite that bad.

In fact they're not nearly that bad over in Britain.

well the north american variety ..the majority are embarrassingly devoid of any depth.

 

[Steven]

Ever use the jargon OMG, BBQ and WTF together in the same phrase

OMG who can resist typing a long-ass acronym like OMGWTFASLHTTPHL2FTWANZACGPUBBCATIDVDLOLROFLGSTBBQ, it makes me feel so special, I want to stay my age forever now.

 

[evil^milk]

you will. and you'll know why.