A black man given the worst job in america, your opinions on the Obama win

[CptStern]

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job

African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/black_man_given_nations

as always the onion is spot on


so thoughts on the Obama win? are our high expecations misplaced? can the damage of the last 8 years be undone? how do you foresee Obama will handle foreign policy? will iraq and afghanistan continue to be a unwinnable quagmire? will the drms of war continue to beat when it comes to iran?

 

[Laivasse]

At least now he has a proper job maybe he'll stop asking for change.

 

[CptStern]

Bush: 'Can I Stop Being President Now?'

In a press conference held this morning on the White House lawn, President Bush formally asked the assembled press corps and members of his own administration if, in light of today's election, he could stop being the president now. "So it's over, right? Can I stop being president now?" Bush said after striding to the podium in a Texas Rangers cap and flannel shirt, carrying a fully packed suitcase. "Let's just say I'm done as of now. Presidency over." When informed by Washington Post reporter David Broder that his presidency would continue through early January, Bush stared at him quizzically, sighed, and shuffled silently back into the White House

lololol

 

[Escaep]

lololol

I thought he stopped a long time ago?

 

[Eejit]

Oh god the Onion is so much win.

 

[No Limit]

I don't think too much will change, but the good thing is it won't get any worse, as it would have under McCain.

 

[CptStern]

I thought he stopped a long time ago?

only during his drunken blackouts spent under his desk in the oval office

 

[Laivasse]

Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress

Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.

"Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, 'Things are finally as terrible as we're willing to tolerate," said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. "To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you."

Carrying a majority of the popular vote, Obama did especially well among women and young voters, who polls showed were particularly sensitive to the current climate of everything being f*cked.
...
Citizens with eyes, ears, and the ability to wake up and realize what truly matters in the end are also believed to have played a crucial role in Tuesday's election.

Obama's victory is being called the most significant change in politics since the 1992 election, when a full-scale economic recession led voters to momentarily ignore the fact that candidate Bill Clinton had once smoked marijuana. While many believed things had once again reached an all-time low in 2004, the successful reelection of President George W. Bush—despite historically low approval ratings nationwide—proved that things were not quite shitty enough to challenge the already pretty shitty status quo.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_finally_shitty_enough_to

Brilliant.

 

[VictimOfScience]

Are our high expecations misplaced?
Nope. He has a great character instead of being a great character.

Can the damage of the last 8 years be undone?
Yes, but it will take a long time.

How do you foresee Obama will handle foreign policy?
However Joe Biden handles it (i.e. sensibly and with an attitude of talk first, strongarm later).

Will iraq and afghanistan continue to be a unwinnable quagmire?
Yes, for a while until we hand over the reigns and GTFO of there.

Will the drums of war continue to beat when it comes to iran?
Probably not. Well, at least there will hopefully be MUCH less fear-mongering coming from our government and we can focus on helping others in the world that need it as opposed to forcing our views down their throats with sanctions, regime changes and psywarfare.

 

[Escaep]

only during his drunken blackouts spent under his desk in the oval office

I see. I guess the media never picked that story up. :cheers:

 

[Tyguy]

i hate the amount of black house jokes we are going to have to hear in the coming months

 

[Eejit]

NEW YORK—Less than 20 minutes after Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States, New York senator Hillary Clinton officially resumed her political attacks against the Illinois senator and president-elect. "My fellow Americans, I admire Barack Obama, but in his first twenty minutes as president-elect, he has failed time and time again to deliver the change he promised," the former Democratic presidential candidate said at a small rally in Harlem. "Mr. Obama may deliver a rousing victory speech, but right now this country needs more than just speeches. It needs real leadership." In addition to her numerous scheduled public appearances, Clinton has also released a series of coordinated television and radio ads questioning the near half hour Obama has spent away from the White House, his failure to meet with a single foreign leader at Camp David since being elected, and the current lack of any female or minority appointments to his cabinet.

Quality...

 

[Kase]

lol hillary clinton

 

[Godron]

Hillarity Clinton.



Baddum-tss.

 

[nurizeko]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/black_man_given_nations

as always the onion is spot on


so thoughts on the Obama win? are our high expecations misplaced? can the damage of the last 8 years be undone? how do you foresee Obama will handle foreign policy? will iraq and afghanistan continue to be a unwinnable quagmire? will the drms of war continue to beat when it comes to iran?

My thought is that I weish you guys would keep all this Obama win stuff in one thread where its easier to troll.

 

[V-Man339]

Wow, laughing at all this makes me feel like a dick, but damn is it funny!

 

[Saturos]

I've heard people around here say that Obama might become an Uncle Tom. That is, failing to cater to his primary constituencies (blacks, minors, mexicans) because the economy is so shitty right now he'll have no choice but to break some promises he made during his campaigne. Which in turn might spoil his chances for a re-election.

Also, some skeptics say that the economic stimulus package he's been planning will actually do more harm than good. That it's akin to, "paying off a credit card with more credit cards" and that the country is in too much debt right now for any stimulus packages. What are some thoughts on this?

I just hope Obama and the Congress will make the right decisions and do whatever they can to fix all of this mess.