A Company of Four

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wolven_rage

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This is a prelogue for my story entitled "A Company of Four" this first part is a memo from the G-Man
Prelogue.

Agent Memo:
To: Classified
From: Field Agent #1
Subject: Dr. G. Freeman
I't has come to my attention through field observation that my employee, a Dr G. Freeman, his performance in the field has surpassed my highest expectations. However, due to recent shifts in the combine hierchy and behavior i regret to inform you that aforementioned employee will not be able to perform future services for us without considerable difficulty, i am requesting that i be allowed to "hire" additional employees to assist Dr Freeman in future operations against the combine. I have already selected 3 additional persons to "assist" Mr Freeman. I will include a list of the persons with a breif summary of there skills and past associations with Dr. Freeman if you approve this request.


Please comment, also feel free to post any questions/comments/constructive criticism you might have, also just to clear any questions you might have about this beginning, this is just a prelogue for my story, i will add the chapters here as well just so you know.

*EDIT* added teaser image link, here it is:
 
Sounds like a good way to introduce new characters into the game.

A game with a large assault on some objective could have multiple points of view from multiple fighters chosen by the G-Man.

So, you play first as Gordon, until you've almost beate the game (you walk into a room with the main bad guy there, and three other people bust into the room from different places at almost the same time)... then start from the beginning of the game again as the 2nd guy who busted into the room, and play up to that point again, following this new person. Then you do it one more time from the third point of view, and then the fourth... then, the ending takes place as a movie or something where they pwn the bad guy, then all get together and play Pictionary.

And then G-Man has 4 new people ready for future games and expansion packs :)

Is that kind of what you were thinking, or are you writing something a bit different?
 
Something like that but a little diffrent, im still planning how G-Man goes about hiring them in the first place, also im gonna make the combine little less evil in this story, im gonna create a new enemy that both the combine and humans fear but im not gonna give away the enemys name yet :D dont worry, it wont suck, i promise you!
 
Chapter 1: Contact List


City 17, one of Earth's last remaining urban centers, a city shaken litterally to it's very foundations by rebellion, sporadic automatic fire can be heard in the distance, at it's center a smoking pile of metal that was once a proud and imposing piece of combine architecture, a lone figure dressed in a blue suit and carrying an attache approaches the limp figure of a woman who appears to be in her early adulthood, he pull's a CO2 powerd needle and inserted it in her neck and a hiss of escaping pressureized CO2 is heard as he administers a wake up drug. She woke up slowly, she moaned from some pain in her side.


"Ohh.... where am i? What happend?"

"Wake up Ms. Vance" The man standing over her said.

"Wha..? Who the hell are you?!"

"Who I am is of no imprtance right now, i'm here to offer you an employment oppurtunity that may intrest you" He said in a convincing yet hollow sounding voice.

"Oh really? what exactly is this "employment" are you reffering to"

"I have a propposal that concern's a Dr. G Freeman, you may know him from your past exploits with him which have impressed me, i never expected so much from you and Mr. Freeman, which has led me to a decision to hire you as Dr. Freeman's "Permanent" assistant"

"Woah slow down, how do you know about what me and Freeman did?!"

"I've been observing Mr. Freeman's actions against the Combine, as his employer i find it essential that i keep an eye on what my employees do"

"Ok... suppose i accept your offer, whats in it for me?" she said getting up and leaning against some rubble.

"For one you will be provided with an oppurtunity to work directly with Dr. Freeman, also your effort's, if successfull, would not go un-rewarded"

"What exactly is it you want me to do?"

"You keep doing what you have been doing, except you would have the benefits of working with three other highly qualified members in a force against the Combine, Dr. Freeman would be included in those three.

"Allright, say i agreed to this proposal of yours, when do i start working?"

"Whenever the time seems right, right now the Combine have been dealt a serious blow with the destruction of the citadel, even though the destruction of it has severd many of there communications with the other citadels around the world, they are actively trying to repair this but it will take some time to do, i wanted to take advantage of this and further thwart there efforts by getting together a small team of highly skilled people to attack the Combine and ultimately remove them from the Earth"

"Ok... i can' t belive i'm saying this but i accept your offer, whoever you are. When do i begin?"

"Soon, very soon Ms. Vance" He suddenly pulled a small device out of his pocket and pressed a button, it hummed and all of a sudden a beam flashed from a small disk shaped projector, it hit Alyx in the chest, she fell but was caught by the man in blue and he pressed another button on the device and what appeard to be circular field of blurred landscape turned into a portal, he pulled her through and it closed behind them....



Hope this is enough to whet you guys appetites for the next chapter!! comments and criticism are always accepted (try to be nice please though)
 
Chapter 1 Part 2: Contact List.


"Alyx! You down here?" Barney yelled as he made his way over to where she had been a few minutes ago, "Damn it, i could have sworn i saw her over here!", "It's ok Barney, she's probably around here someplace, you know how she is!", "I know Todd but i could have sworn i saw somewhere around here" Barney scanned the area keeping an eye out for both Combine troops and Alyx.

"God dammit, where is she?" he said in annoyed tone, it had been 5 minutes of fruitless yelling and looking, "Take it easy Barney, let's re-group with the rest of the group before we get hammered by overwatch troops or worse", "Allright, i just wish i knew where she was that's all", "She's probably with the others, now lets get moving!" "Allright let's get moving before...." But he never finished as all of a sudden time seemed to slow down to a complete stop, "Ah, Mr Calhoun... I'm afraid the racket you have been raising is of no avail" The man in the blue suit who had taken Alyx cooly stepped out from an alleyway and walked towards Barney, "Who are you?! And what have you done with Alyx?!", "My name is of no concern to you and i can assure you that Miss Vance has not been harmed in any way, although i can assure you that she is nowhere near here and is being taken care of, what i have for you only requires a simple yes or no for an answer, im offering you employment to work in a "coalition" of an elite team to combat the combine threat and another threat that earth nor the combine know about yet, you will be working with Dr. Freeman and some other people who will be part of this "team" of crack individuals, i need only a yes or a no from you, you will be rewarded adequetly should you live long enough to collect it, do you except this offer our do you decline, please consider this offer very carefully as it will not be offerd again if you should decline it" the man in the suit said without missing a beat, "Woah woah slow down, who are you and who is this organization that o would work for if i accepted this?", "You are stalling and i do not appreciate stallers, i am very busy man and i have much work to do and there is only so much time in the universes for such small matters as this, do you or do you not accept my offer?" He said in a slightly more annoyed tone, "Allright allright! But this better not have any other loose strings attached to it!", "Very well, we will wake you when the final preparations have been made and i can assure that will be very soon!", "What are talking abou..." but he didnt finish because the man in the blue suit had secretly pulled the small device out and used it's stun setting, Barney fell but was caught before he could reach the ground, "Perfect, three down one to go.." he said as he opend a portal and pulled Barney through it....



I'm experimenting with diffrent writing styles so if you notice a change in the style im just telling you why here, also please leave comments and constructive criticism here, i really want to know what you guys think!
 
Try to put dialoge onto different lines.

ie
"Hello there."
"Hello, how are you."
"I'm fine, thank you for asking."

It makes it much easier to read than you're current style.
 
Bob_Marley said:
Try to put dialoge onto different lines.

ie
"Hello there."
"Hello, how are you."
"I'm fine, thank you for asking."

It makes it much easier to read than you're current style.

Ok, thanks for the tip, ill try that in my next installment.
 
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