A Feeling I'm Being Had

[CptStern]

A Feeling I'm Being Had

I was happy to hear that NYC didn't allow Iranian President Ahmadinejad
to place a wreath at the WTC site. And I was happy that Columbia
University is rescinding the offer to let him speak. If you let a guy like
that express his views, before long the entire world will want freedom
of speech.

I hate Ahmadinejad for all the same reasons you do. For one thing, he
said he wants to "wipe Israel off the map." Scholars tell us the correct
translation is more along the lines of wanting a change in Israel's
government toward something more democratic, with less gerrymandering.
What an ass-muncher!

Ahmadinejad also called the holocaust a "myth." **** him! A myth is
something a society uses to frame their understanding of their world, and
act accordingly. It's not as if the world created a whole new country
because of holocaust guilt and gives it a free pass no matter what it
does. That's Iranian crazy talk. Ahmadinejad can blow me.

Most insulting is the fact that "myth" implies the holocaust didn't
happen. **** him for saying that! He also says he won't dispute the
historical claims of European scientists. That is obviously the opposite of
saying the holocaust didn't happen, which I assume is his way of
confusing me. God-damned ****er.

Furthermore, why does an Iranian guy give a speech in his own language
except for using the English word "myth"? Aren't there any Iranian
words for saying a set of historical facts has achieved an unhealthy level
of influence on a specific set of decisions in the present? He's just
being an asshole.

Ahmadinejad believes his role is to pave the way for the coming of the
Twelfth Imam. That's a primitive apocalyptic belief! I thank Jesus I do
not live in a country led by a man who believes in that sort of
bullshit. Imagine how dangerous that would be, especially if that man had the
launch codes for nuclear weapons.

The worst of the worst is that Ahmadinejad's country is helping the
Iraqis kill American soldiers. If Iran ever invades Canada, I think we'd
agree the best course of action for the United States is to be
constructive and let things sort themselves out. Otherwise we'd be just as evil
as the Iranians. Those ****ers.

Those Iranians need to learn from the American example. In this
country, if the clear majority of the public opposes the continuation of a war, our
leaders will tell us we're terrorist-humping idiots and do whatever they
damn well please. They might even increase our taxes to do it. That's
called leadership.

If Ahmadinejad thinks he can be our friend by honoring our heroes and
opening a dialog, he underestimates our ability to misinterpret him.
****ing idiot. I hate him.

- Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/a-feeling-im-be.html

lol, love the comments, the majority of people didnt understand a word of what he said. I predict the same will hold true for some of our members (Nemesis instantly leaps to mind)

 

[Ennui]

That was pretty great I love some of the more subtle quips (I thank Jesus, launch codes for nuclear weapons )

 

[CptStern]

here's his follow up:

Sorry I Confused You

In reading the comments to my post yesterday, I see that many of you were confused about my positions. Evidently all of you are brilliant, so I assume the problem is on my end. With your indulgence, allow me to clarify.

1. I am not happy that Hitler killed your relatives.
2. I do not support the killing of Americans
3. I do not support nuclear annihilation of Israel
4. I do not support the stoning of virgins in Iran
5. I believe the holocaust happened

I also donâ??t argue thereâ??s a moral equivalence between Iran and the United States, or Israel and the Palestinians, or anyone and anyone else. Groups pursue their own perceived self interest. Arguing relative morality is an idiotâ??s game. Pointing out similarities in policies, and shaking the box, is good clean fun.

Next, I believe that if Iran is in fact helping Iraqi insurgents harm Americans, itâ??s an act of war, and a legitimate reason for attacking Iran in some fashion. That doesnâ??t mean itâ??s in the best interests of the United States to do so, but I would view it as legitimate.

Likewise, if the Iranians really are developing a nuclear weapon with the intent of using it on Israel, and there was some way to confirm that other than suspicious translations of speeches, then attacking Iran makes perfect sense, and I would support it completely. My problem is that I keep seeing patterns:

1. Iraq is helping Al-Qaeda
2. Iraq has weapons of mass destruction
3. Al-Qaeda is operationally non-functional
4. The surge is working
5. Iran is helping Iraqi insurgents kill Americans

I believe thereâ??s a good chance Iran is helping Iraqi insurgents kill Americans, simply because it might be in their perceived best interest to do that. But Iâ??d be an idiot to believe it simply because the government told the media it was true and the media told me. You can only fool me five or six dozen times before I start getting suspicious.

I think Iran would be foolish to let matters in Iraq unfold without trying to influence it. Itâ??s in their best interest to meddle. That doesnâ??t mean I support it. I prefer they didnâ??t. But itâ??s not a realistic option. I presume the dark forces on our side are making sure any Iranian offenses are being met with consequences, and Iâ??m all for that.

I also support Israelâ??s actions in pursuit of its self-interest. Iâ??d be a hypocrite to do otherwise, since I also support the United States, despite what it did to the Native Americans a few hundred years ago. At some point you have to release on the past and accept the present realities. Israel won. It isnâ??t going anywhere.

If Israel had an enemy that it could make peace with, then I might feel different. But it doesnâ??t, so Israelâ??s best interests dictate keeping the neighbors too economically weak to purchase expensive weapons, and to control as much territory as possible. I donâ??t begrudge any country that makes rational decisions in support of its own safety. I donâ??t even begrudge Israelâ??s influence on American foreign policy. I respect them for how well they do it.

Still, the bulk of my sympathies are with whatever group suffers the most, regardless of how much of the problem is their own damned fault. To feel otherwise would be inhuman. Sometimes it feels as if the Palestinians are only one Gandhi away from fixing their problems. But heâ??d need to be bulletproof.

Hereâ??s your hypothetical question of the day: If it ever happened that America attacked Iran because of alleged nukes, and later confirmed it had no nuclear weapons program, and we discovered that the administration knew it all along, would it be in the best interest of the citizens of the United States to overthrow their government?

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/sorry-i-confuse.html

 

[Solaris]

I read the dilbert blog daily, it's brilliant.

 

[No Limit]

Best comment from the follow up post:

Overthrowing a government is quite a bit of work, and frankly I am swamped with my menial job, debt reconciliation, and X-box. Perhaps next time.

 

[Mr Stabby]

Is this the guy behind Dilbert the comic/cartoon series?

 

[CptStern]

yes ...

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Overthrowing a government is quite a bit of work, and frankly I am swamped with my menial job, debt reconciliation, and X-box. Perhaps next time.

Yeah, thats definatly the best comment so far.