a modest mac review by a modest man

gh0st

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this post is for you if you are like me, a pc user, and are curious or hateful of macs.

i've been a pc user my whole life. i've rarely used Mac's, and when i did, they were older than the cheesy, nacho like stain on my carpet, though slightly less tasty. i used the one's we all did to play where in the world is carmen san diego and such, but nothing modern. nothing past a g3 actually. even then, it was some piece of shit 233 mhz g3 or whatever. i dont know apples hardware and i dont care. i didn't buy this mac because of its specs.

but i HAD to experience a modern mac, a brand new one that i would be using for the first time. not some dog-shit hand me down. i loaded apples website and used the horrifyingly easy to use shopping cart. within 10 minutes i had a mac on the way. i lay in the fetal position, muttering profanities and bordering on hysteria having just blown 500 dollars on a whim. the specifics of the box are

G4 @ 1.5ghz
1gb of memory (i upgraded it when it came. a bit difficult to do given the size of the box its self)
radeon 9200 (but its not as pitiful as you may think)
a cdrw/dvdrw superdrive (its slot loading.. and shit on balls does it grab that cd or dvd, it nearly took my arm off)

it has 2 usb 2.0 drives, a firewire port, and an audio out, as well as a modem and ethernet card.

3 days later, a discreet brown box arrived. with the joy of a 10 year old at christmas, i grabbed the package and read the label: "OptimRX penis enlargement pills". i swallowed several of them and waited for my new macintosh.

the next day, i once again grabbed the box and opened it. my brand new mac mini lay inside, wrapped in a delightful little lunch box. i opened it, and there it was. i expected it to do something cool like say hello or fondle my balls but it did neither. it just sat there. but it did turn on when plugged in, and the "apple" sound was so loud (it includes an internal speaker, but no keyboard, mouse or monitor) i nearly shit my pants. in fact i think i did. but it was no matter, because the beautiful os x operating system greeted me with a simple set up. 2 minutes later i was gazing at a foreign landscape of OS X, 8 minutes i was browsing the more familiar halflife2.net through "safari". so basically, its easy to set up.

the software included in the mac mini package is outstanding. a 30 day sample of microsoft office (which is kind of gay, i just use openoffice for free), garage band, itunes, quicktime, a mail client which takes a huge shit all over outlook, the safari web browser (basically firefox), several great dvd creators and viewers, and more picture shit, as well as calendar and address book. all things you could easily get with windows, but all of these are really high quality programs - its not a big deal, but a nice plus that they are included. interestingly, apple also includes the actual OS X cd's... i begin to see the benefits of having apple make the computer for you.

setting up my wireless network was pitifully easy. i didnt even do anything, it just "did" it. i just clicked on safari after it booted up (i used an old usb wireless ethernet adapter) and away i went.

the updater is really easy to use, and surprisingly, unlike xp which has literally hundreds of updates, OS X has only about 10, mostly software updates; only 2 were security updates. my updates were done in about 10 minutes.

being a pc user in a new environment, i decided to try games. i tried Americas Army and World of Warcraft. Both worked great. I installed starcraft for mac, and it works great as well. everything looks a little different on my apple cinema display: much ****ing nicer looking.

and of course its easy to wirelessly stream music and files from my xp equipped pc.

the main reason people dont want to get macs are these

no games: its true, there arent as many games, but they are definitely out there. especially from blizzard. they play as well as any similar pc (or better)

price: isnt an issue really, the mac mini is only 500 bucks starting and is a great way to explore macs without herniating your ballsack

stigma: **** you

i used to think that apple users were just tools who enjoyed steve job's emaciated penis in their butt. but i really cant say that anymore, because apple has really impressed me. this review is semi-serious, and written in an alcohol induced stupor, but everything is true. i actually have "switched"... i can, from first hand experience, say that osx is better than windows. the only place apple falls behind is in hardware, and that will hopefully be changing when they adapt intels processors. until then, i'm always going to have a pc to play games. because i play source games.

so come my pc brethren, dont fear or hate macs, embrace them.

+ low price
+ looks sexy
+ good software suite
+ very reasonable power

- few i/o ports
- no agp slot, so you cant upgrade the video card
- only one DIMM, so you have to buy a 1gb stick of ram. it can support more, as long as you have one stickive
 
NOOOOOO! ANOTHER POOR SOUL LOST!


blerrojnajhlgh.
 
quit making fun of my review :( it took me 2 weeks to write.
 
gh0st said:
quit making fun of my review :( it took me 2 weeks to write.

I loved the "Penis enlargement pills" part. Very surprising and funny.
 
i was just kidding it didnt take two weeks and it wasent really meant to be funny.. i just cant stand reading reviews of things so i tried to make it a little more bearable.
 
I love macs.

I was born into a household full of macs, and only started using pcs in the past 3 years.

Gotta say, they're great for CAD work, graphics design, and other sorts of art work.

Still love my PC though.
 
Nice review...if I ever get the money I plan on switiching to apple once the intel versions come out and installing windows on it for gaming. If apple was supported by all computer game companies I'd be on a mac right now. :(

If only apple supported direct X.
 
When I was in America, all the schools used macs. It was horrible.....

All these weird dull grey colors........

;(


I was glad when I came back to paradise.
 
Wtf are you smoking? Most schools use pc's because they're inexpensive.

So don't make up shit.
 
sinkoman said:
Still love my PC though.
dont get me wrong, i still love the ol pc as well.
Nice review...if I ever get the money I plan on switiching to apple once the intel versions come out and installing windows on it for gaming.
ill be buying a mactel machine as well.
When I was in America, all the schools used macs. It was horrible.....

All these weird dull grey colors........
what are you talking about? we use really nice dell pc's.
 
The high school I went to mainly used dell pc's/old pc's and the junior high school I went to also had the same.
 
Tr0n said:
Wtf are you smoking? Most schools use pc's because they're inexpensive.

So don't make up shit.

I'm not making up shit. All the schools used macs when I was in California, 3 years ago.
 
Did you go to every single school? Also remember, Cali isn't America.
 
xLostx said:
play some sweet sweet games on those macs....laff
they arent really meant for games

and lots of schools do/did use macs... most likely the ugly imac's i had to deal with.
 
Tr0n said:
Did you go to every single school? Also remember, Cali isn't America.

No.... Just 2. I made that sentence kinda wrong.
 
ok, so you can play america's army, wow, and starcraft on a mac, and not much else.
 
Hazar said:
ok, so you can play america's army, wow, and starcraft on a mac, and not much else.
ghost recon :naughty: heh OOHHH GHOST RECON. but seriously, its not like i bought the damn thing to play games.
 
My school had Macs, but Windows was installed on them. No lie.
 
MAC's are great for work oriented projects, like word processing and maybe graphics programs cause they almost never crash, have problems or do stupid things...on the downside the gaming is not as good as PC's.
 
I got a mac mini about 4 weeks ago... tried to play Jedi Outcast on it... what a lagfest...
 
One day you will wake up and find that your Mac has eaten your balls.
 
IMO, the main and largest weakness for mac is bearly any games for it. I know a bunch of gamers would switch only if they games they play are supported on it.
 
Tr0n said:
IMO, the main and largest weakness for mac is bearly any games for it. I know a bunch of gamers would switch only if they games they play are supported on it.

Heheh... I saw on filefront the other day that the Doom 3 demo was out for the mac... First thing I thought was "ok... thats a nice step in the right direction for mac gamers.. but wait a minute... what macs can handle something like d3? LOLOLOLAWL"
 
Tr0n said:
Yea you did. Learn not to generalize, son. ;)

And how do you know most schools use PC's over Mac's?

From the schools i've been to... about 4, 3 in Cali... one in Washington... they all used Mac's.
 
How do you know they don't? :p

I know every school in this county doesn't use macs. (Yes, I've been to every school here.) I have a friend that lives near chicago and his school uses macs also.
 
I never said most school's don't though, I just said from my encounters I have noticed that Mac's were used over PC's(EDIT:just noticed sarcasm). Probably due to Mac's portability. Y'know them gay little Macs where they just look like it's only the monitor, but it's really the whole system.

I wish all schools over here used PC's though.
 
How is the email client better? I think Outlook (2003) rocks, but I haven't used another client, so I'm all ears for a potential upgrade.

I see few if any differences between the two machines other than cosmetics or the UI. All the software you mentioned except for the Office clone appear to be things one can get from the Internet for free.

My friend had a power supply go out on his Mac. $200 and it had to be shipped from Japan? Ouch.

I bought a D-Link USB Wireless dongle. Plugged it in and voila! It just "did" it. But wait - I was using XP! To be honest, this has worked with every single USB device I've ever plugged into the computer (with XP - not necessarily so for previous versions). Webcams, drives, hubs, Bluetooth dongles, printers, etc. Did Gates slip a Mac into my OS somewhere?

I'm a firm believer that the differences between the two are cosmetic - as long as we're on the subject, I'd like to hear constructive arguments for things a Mac or PC will do better than the other. I'm not looking for arguments like "Where's the right-mouse button" or "How 'bout them viruses?", I'm looking for arguments that demonstrate how one system performs some vital function better than another. For example, networking, processor intensive applications, plug-n-play, etc.
 
im buying a ibook sometime in the future. have all the games i want to play on my pc, and a ibook has everything im looking for in a laptop and still play a few games i like on the side.


most schools in my area are running linux now.
 
and I thought I was the only one who played where in the world is carmen sandiego.
 
Adabiviak said:
I'm a firm believer that the differences between the two are cosmetic - as long as we're on the subject, I'd like to hear constructive arguments for things a Mac or PC will do better than the other. I'm not looking for arguments like "Where's the right-mouse button" or "How 'bout them viruses?", I'm looking for arguments that demonstrate how one system performs some vital function better than another. For example, networking, processor intensive applications, plug-n-play, etc.

for the mac:
for plug and play i have yet to see a digital camera that didnt sync with iphoto right out of the box(the mac)

only seen one camera that didnt work plug and play with imovie and it was a model that the firewire prot didnt work well anyway.

xgrid allowing a version of osx tiger server edition to assign tasks to any other mac running tiger of the network with minimal user set up.

and also price compairing systems photoshop does run a bit smoother, but not by much.



and i dont knwo what version of windows you are using, but i have never had a printer/wireless device/ digialtal camera/ video camera that didnt need a driver installed before or after plugging it in.
 
Macs are so much more stable than PCs with better performance and better software and better everything. :(
 
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