Age and dating....

[CyberPitz]

I notice that alot of people are very big in the, "You're too old for xx aged girls." Personally, I don't see a reason with me, a 22 year old, dating a 16 year old....besides the general views upon it, and me fearing for my life.... Anyway, why is it so important for the younger years to be like that.

16 to 22 seems huge, no? Well, lets put it into perspective with a different age.... 56 to 50. Hell, people will hear that and go, "so?" I'm sure the reason people have such a fit over the 22 - 16 difference is because "Girls that age are so immature, and don't know what they are getting themselves into, blah blah blah." But these days girls that are 21 act like 16 year olds, so the maturity aspect is completely silly. I don't know, I guess I'm just biased to the whole situation, just curious on what others views upon the subject are.

 

[Lucid]

16 and 22, hm.

What's the problem you say?...

JAILBAIT!

 

[Baal]

Totally depends on the two parties in question.

Personally, I don't have a problem with 22 and 16, but isn't it...illegal? That's the only way I would ever care, is if it's illegal. If it's illegal, then you probably shouldn't do it. Otherwise, what the hell ever, I'm not going to care one way or the other.

 

[Muffin Man]

Because there is a huge maturity gap between sixteen and twenty-two (usually), and almost no maturity gap between fifty and fifty-six (usually).

EDIT: I know you said something about that in your post, but it's just true. I've seen people have great relationships despite pretty substantial age differences, but that doesn't mean there isn't any huge difference in maturity.

 

[DeusExMachina]

Just keep it PG.

 

[Bob_Marley]

16 and 22, hm.

What's the problem you say?...

JAILBAIT!

And thats why the UK is better than the US. Over here thats nice and legal.

 

[Absinthe]

Issues of legality aside, I don't see any practical issues with a 16 year old dating somebody older than her by a few years. No more so than if he or she was dating somebody her own age. The word "rape" is often thrown around, but I don't see how age is a factor in that at all.

That said, I personally frown on such relationships. I've never seen or known a 16 year old male dating somebody over 20, but I've seen it a lot with girls. With them it seems like some bizarre status symbol more than anything. "I'm ****ing a guy in his twenty-somethings, therefore I'm more mature than you" kind of thing. It's kind of perverse, in my opinion. And I don't see what the guy can be getting out of it other than easy sex. I can't believe it's emotional companionship, because at 16 you don't know what the **** you want or how you're really feeling half the time. Somebody eight or ten years younger than you is fun, easy, horny, and not requiring a high level of maintenance.

So the only thing I hold against it is my personal preference, and it used to annoy me quite a bit when I was younger.

 

[Baal]

Issues of legality aside, I don't see any practical issues with a 16 year old dating somebody older than her by a few years. No more so than if he or she was dating somebody her own age. The word "rape" is often thrown around, but I don't see how age is a factor in that at all.

That said, I personally frown on such relationships. I've never seen or known a 16 year old male dating somebody over 20, but I've seen it a lot with girls. With them it seems like some bizarre status symbol more than anything. "I'm ****ing a guy in his twenty-somethings, therefore I'm more mature than you" kind of thing. It's kind of perverse, in my opinion. And I don't see what the guy can be getting out of it other than easy sex. I can't believe it's emotional companionship, because at 16 you don't know what the **** you want or how you're really feeling half the time. Somebody eight or ten years younger than you is fun, easy, horny, and not requiring a high level of maintenance.

So the only thing I hold against it is my personal preference, and it used to annoy me quite a bit when I was younger.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel. But there are exceptions of course, so I'm not going to hold it against anyone for engaging in this sort of thing. Though...I still don't know if it's legal or not

 

[Taboo]

Its more of a maturity thing as you mentioned. At the age of 22 you will most likely be done with school and have high school and even college experiences under your belt. Because of these experiences you are probably going to have larger (or smaller.. depending on what you see as valuble) expectations of a relationship than you did at 16. Its kind of unfair to rob younger kids of that same magical expectation or ignorance.

But this is definately on a case by case basis. Girls are becoming whorier by the second I swear to god.

 

[CrazyHarij]

16-22 is a huge difference. despite the fact alone that youre basically sending out "i cant get chicks my own age".. the occasional ****ing chicks that age is alright but i can't understand what you could get out of a relationship with a 16 year old girl when you're 22, she's most probably not mature, i don't care how mature she acts, much like a 16 year old guy isn't mature just because he reads wikipedia and debates philosophy on the internet

Girls are becoming whorier by the second I swear to god.

yeah. 16 year old girls around here are ****bags, not girlfriend material.. and i'm 18, even smaller gap there but its still there.. girls suddenly turn reasonably sane at 18-19.. if you're lucky

 

[Krynn72]

I dont think age has anything to do with maturity. The only influence it may have is simply how much time passed for them to have maturing experiences. Ive known really young people who have experienced far more hardships and are much more mature than people 10 years older than them.

 

[CrazyHarij]

Ive known really young people who have experienced far more hardships and are much more mature than people 10 years older than them.

it doesn't matter because it most certainly isn't the norm.. and even then i'm disregarding things like puberty and the legal drinking age

 

[Asknoone]

I'm pretty sure you can't measure maturity with age. Just in general I mean.

 

[Taboo]

I'm pretty sure you can't measure maturity with age. Just in general I mean.

The original intelligence quotient was determined by dividing ones maturity, or "mental age", by ones "physical age" multiplied by 100.

Thats why 100 is the average IQ. So average people are mature relative to their age.

 

[Taboo]

yeah. 16 year old girls around here are ****bags, not girlfriend material.. and i'm 18, even smaller gap there but its still there.. girls suddenly turn reasonably sane at 18-19.. if you're lucky

Yeah, its like a world epidemic. I guess the availability of information through the internet and things like myspace might contribute to that? I have no idea. But its pretty disgusting. Did you hear about the four 5th graders in Louisiana that were caught having sex in their classroom? WTF?!

 

[Absinthe]

I'm pretty sure you can't measure maturity with age. Just in general I mean.

Eh, I'd say you can with general age groups. It's just a natural process of mental development, hormonal changes, and acquired experience. Some are more mature than others, obviously. But maturity is more than being polite or knowledgeable. It's also about effectively utilizing life skills, being able to take frustration, balancing personal pleasure with necessary work, and coming to terms with your own strengths, weaknesses, aims, and desires.

Nobody at 16 has all that, and if they do, I have to question what kind of sad childhood they had. Hell, few people in their late twenties have all that.

 

[Baal]

Eh, I'd say you can with general age groups. It's just a natural process of mental development, hormonal changes, and acquired experience. Some are more mature than others, obviously. But maturity is more than being polite or knowledgeable. It's also about effectively utilizing life skills, being able to take frustration, balancing personal pleasure with necessary work, and coming to terms with your own strengths, weaknesses, aims, and desires.

Nobody at 16 has all that, and if they do, I have to question what kind of sad childhood they had. Hell, few people in their late twenties have all that.

Few people of any age have all of that though :|

I obviously still see your point, and it is a valid one. There are definitely major exceptions though for sure. Some people are just more mature than most people their age.

 

[Pauly]

The problem? Shes a minor, you are an adult. Morally its not really that much of a problem. Legality, it is a problem. Thats why people view it negatively. I'm sorry thats the way it is.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

I'd hit it.

 

[Dan]

dating someone that is too young to go to a bar would suck

 

[Absinthe]

Few people of any age have all of that though :|

Very true, but they can still qualify as mature. Just like people don't need to be friendly all the time in order to be considered nice.

Most people around the age of 16 have relatively little of such stuff. I really only started seeing maturity in people in my age group by the time of high school graduation, and even then our automatic method of celebration was going on a week-long binge of intoxication, 24 hours a day.

 

[JNightshade]

It depends, but for the most part, I dislike it for the reasons Absinthe mentioned.




Unless it's a 16-year-old guy and a 22-year-old girl. That's just awesome.

 

[Absinthe]

Unless it's a 16-year-old guy and a 22-year-old girl. That's just awesome.

Total high-fives.

Actually, come to think of it, I do remember a friend who banged a a woman in her late twenties (he looked a lot older for his age). She had a boyfriend, my friend got her pregnant, and he subsequently found himself receiving many death threats on his phone.

=P

 

[sinkoman]

I wish I could get 22 year old chicks

But yes, I agree that girls are ****ing whorebags these days.

The other day I heard this girl complain to some gay guy, "I'M NEVER GONNA GET LAID!"

Guy goes "what are you talking about?"

She goes "I mean again you retard".

 

[Alan00000]

I say thats awsome cyber pitz cause i was dating a 18 year old and she is the smartest person alive smarter than me. i miss her allready.

 

[ComradeBadger]

Personally I don't understand how you can find a 16year old attractive, they look just too young to me - and I'm only 19 (20 soon though).. 18 is as young as I'll go, and even then there's a big gap, since they usually haven't lived anywhere apart from with their parents, where as I've done a fair bit more.


P.S. stop moaning about girls being easy - it doesn't affect you in any way.

 

[Muffin Man]

I think this whole thread is just saying one thing: send her Muffin Man's direction. I'm 16, I'm single, I'm a much more obvious candidate to make naughty-time with her, :naughty:.

 

[JNightshade]

I'm seventeen, and I'd have no problem doing a 16-year-old. Shit, there are even a few fifteen year-olds I could imagine myself banging. But when you're above legal drinking age, it just gets sketchy.

 

[Glo-Boy]

Yeah, that's pretty much f-cking disgusting. Also, it's illegal. You should be in prison for such carelessness.

 

[Muffin Man]

16 to 22 seems huge, no? Well, lets put it into perspective with a different age.... 56 to 50. Hell, people will hear that and go, "so?"

What about 12 and 18?

 

[Absinthe]

I'm seventeen, and I'd have no problem doing a 16-year-old. Shit, there are even a few fifteen year-olds I could imagine myself banging. But when you're above legal drinking age, it just gets sketchy.

I think the sketchiness factor has more to do with the legality than anything. For the aforementioned reasons, I generally dislike relationships with such age gaps, but it's not like there's some switch in your brain that says "NO MOAR BONER TIEM" once you can buy your booze.

The idea that it's fundamentally wrong seems more prevalent in the USA, what with the witch-hunt for pedophiles and the like. It simply wasn't that big of a deal where I grew up though. Maturity when it comes to sexual decisions seems to vary from culture to culture, and I think that a lot of America lags behind in that department.

Basically, I think that 16 year olds are fully capable of making their own decisions when it comes to sex. But that doesn't mean they're necessarily the smartest ones.

 

[Stigmata]

I'm 19, dating a 15 year old. To be fair, we DO live in Canada, and it's not QUITE four years - my birthday is in November, and hers is in June. Plus it's completely legal.

16/22... I'd probably say yes/no based on seeing the relationship in action. But CyberPitz is cool, and like what happened with me, I'd chalk it up to him finding a legitimately awesome girl and not just some random highschool whore.

 

[Krynn72]

As long as they are younger than 25 its ok!

Once they hit 25 they immediately turn into this:

 

[CyberPitz]

I'm not going to bother reading page 2 or 3 because I'm sure it's the same thing...
"It's illegal"
"It's gross"

OK, since when was it illegal to date a "minor"? Please, find the law for that. It's illegal to have sex with a minor when you're of age, true. I have NO intentions on sleeping with her for moral reasons, and they are mutual. She wants to wait until marriage, I really don't give a shit. Sex isn't the only thing on my mind, beyond contrary belief.

We have fun together, we genuinely appreciate each others company, and enjoy it alot. But I guess this just helped me to figure out why people think it's wrong. They have it down to a biased decision. Either it's gross, or they think it should be illegal, or you're cool with it. Too bad most of the people are on the "illegal" bandwagon for that thought.

And just for another statement, sex isn't an option in my head at all...I have a hand, and she says she wants to wait, fine by me...but if she changes her mind when she turns 17, I won't stop her.

I'm 19, dating a 15 year old. To be fair, we DO live in Canada, and it's not QUITE four years - my birthday is in November, and hers is in June. Plus it's completely legal.

16/22... I'd probably say yes/no based on seeing the relationship in action. But CyberPitz is cool, and like what happened with me, I'd chalk it up to him finding a legitimately awesome girl and not just some random highschool whore.

And that's essentially it. She's not some random girl...I didn't just see her playing volleyball after school and say, "HEY! I WANT THAT!" We talked prior, we hung out, it's great....

 

[Asknoone]

Eh, I'd say you can with general age groups. It's just a natural process of mental development, hormonal changes, and acquired experience. Some are more mature than others, obviously. But maturity is more than being polite or knowledgeable. It's also about effectively utilizing life skills, being able to take frustration, balancing personal pleasure with necessary work, and coming to terms with your own strengths, weaknesses, aims, and desires.

Nobody at 16 has all that, and if they do, I have to question what kind of sad childhood they had. Hell, few people in their late twenties have all that.

Aye, that's true.

 

[Maxi]

6 years is quite a large difference, especially when she is 16 and you're twenty. You're probably already studying, or got a job, while she is still in high school (?). However my girlfriend IS two years younger than I am but for me that is borderline. If she were any younger it would probably be a problem for me, but it's not. Especiallly since I have to waste one year of my life in the army, so in matter of real life experience I'm only one year "ahead" of her but in my oppinion she is mentally more mature than I am, or a tleast that's how I feel

 

[Dynasty]

Hell, my new gf is two years older than me. Shes 22 and im 20. But we dont care because we're laughing with each other non-stop. Id say 3 years difference is max, 4 is questionable, 5 is wrong, 6 is perverted (especially if one is a teenager).

 

[highlander]

Dynasty is right. There IS a limit an age between two people.

 

[Stigmata]

However, Dynasty is also wrong because he's over-simplifying this issue. There is more to this than physical age - you have to take into account regional taboos/customs, mental maturity, the nature of the relationship (which is not limited to "sexual/not-sexual"), among other slightly less-important things.

[edit] It all comes down to being a very subjective thing. Take me for example: Everyone I know, before meeting my girlfriend, has given me shit at some point or another about me dating a 15 year old. But after meeting her, and seeing us together, no-one has said anything bad.

 

[highlander]

i see your point, Everything thinks it's wrong, bad, and shouldn't of happened, but when they acutally see the person. their Point of view changes? Or am i waaaay off?