Am I jacked up or what?

[SamuraiKenji]

So, all i had to eat yesterday was some Pinapple and Pizza/Breadsticks. And it ****ed up my stomach. So i've had some sort of Diarrhea or something and it hurts like hell partially 'cause i can't really eat much. Tried to eat some crackers, minutes later i was puking. And i'm gassy, which doesn't help. I'm going to be honest here - My shit ain't solid and i don't like it D:
So basically i'm stuck going to the bathroom every few minutes

 

[Vegeta897]

Where is my god damn joke option.

 

[Qonfused]

There is a joke option. It's just hidden.

Spoiler

Depends

 

[Lucid]

Jacked up is the wrong word to use here.


I'm sorry to say but you have cancer.

 

[Mech Man]

Well I voted "depends how you look at it." simply because it is bound to look different if you look at it side ways or some thing.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

Very funny Lucid and Mech

 

[CptStern]

So, all i had to eat yesterday was some Pinapple and Pizza/Breadsticks. And it ****ed up my stomach. So i've had some sort of Diarrhea or something and it hurts like hell partially 'cause i can't really eat much. Tried to eat some crackers, minutes later i was puking. And i'm gassy, which doesn't help. I'm going to be honest here - My shit ain't solid and i don't like it D:
So basically i'm stuck going to the bathroom every few minutes

food poisoning. you'll continue shitting/puking till you've purged your system. enjoy

also when you're done drink lots of water as you'll be dehydrated

 

[lefty]

Might as well kill yourself now.

 

[CyberPitz]

I said yes without even reading your post.

 

[Sheepo]

Definitely depends.

 

[Eejit]

Where is my god damn joke option.

It's a joke question.

"Hey I'm feeling messed up, am I messed up?"

 

[Vegeta897]

Answer: Stern is very old

 

[Absinthe]

Samurai died. D:

 

[SamuraiKenji]

Actually, no
Took some Pepto Bismol tablets, ate some crackers and drank some Ginger Ale and i feel a lot better
At least, i haven't shat in a while

 

[Phobie]

Sounds like food poisoning.

Or IBS.

 

[Mech Man]

Hey , um yeah , uh... Could you like , bottle your shit and uh , send it to me? K thanks.

 

[nipples]

Sweet. I'm the only cock to vote no.

 

[Emporius]

I don't understand this at all.

 

[lefty]

Sweet. I'm the only cock to vote no.

Ruined your glory.

 

[nipples]

My six minutes of glory will forever remain.

 

[lefty]

You are the Jesus Christ of polls.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

I said yes without even reading your post.

This.

 

[kineaesth]

You have HPV;

You're ****ed.

 

[nurizeko]

So, all i had to eat yesterday was some Pinapple and Pizza/Breadsticks. And it ****ed up my stomach. So i've had some sort of Diarrhea or something and it hurts like hell partially 'cause i can't really eat much. Tried to eat some crackers, minutes later i was puking. And i'm gassy, which doesn't help. I'm going to be honest here - My shit ain't solid and i don't like it D:
So basically i'm stuck going to the bathroom every few minutes

You talk negatively of runny shits but you try squeezing out a solid log after constipation, I swear to god the runs is an absolute godsend.

 

[kineaesth]

Whinge

Eat more healthily. Lots of fibre, vegetables, and water.

 

[soulslicer]

Drink Ginger Beer/Root Beer or Ginger Ale or whatever you call it. Massive Relief

 

[G(ordon)-man]

Yes, you are jacked up.


Good news: It's not lupus.

 

[Krynn72]

Well your first mistake was eating a pineapple and pizza breadstick. Everybody knows that no such thing exists, and therefore when you encounter one, its obviously poison.

Second mistake was posting here asking questions about it.

 

[Danimal]

If you eat what you were shitting out repetitively, you'll be cured instantly.

What you're shitting out is the stuff that resists food-poisoning.

srsly.

 

[mechanicallizard]

beans and corn dude, beans and corn.
ONLY THEY CAN HELP YOU NOW

 

[SamuraiKenji]

For the record it ain't food poisoning >..>
If it was food poisoning then i would've been sick within the first 15 minutes, and it took a few hours to start

I EAT ENOUGH BEANS AND ****ING CORN TO KILL A WHOLE MOUNTAIN OF GOATS FFS NO MOAR

 

[mechanicallizard]

i didnt know you got food poisoning that quickly.
but then again i cant remember ever having it.

 

[nurizeko]

beans and corn dude, beans and corn.
ONLY THEY CAN HELP YOU NOW

Some Imodium or whatever might.

 

[mechanicallizard]

^yeah right.
dont listen samurai. ask yourself: what would jesus do?
would he take imodium? i think not.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

Actually, i DID take Imodium i think, didn't help if anything it made it worse, like the TUMS did

 

[Eejit]

For the record it ain't food poisoning >..>
If it was food poisoning then i would've been sick within the first 15 minutes, and it took a few hours to start

Not necessarily. Two of the three times I've had food poisoning it took hours before I puked.
Did you had stomach cramps like a frakking girl?

 

[Danimal]

A pregnant girl?

Pregnant with sin?

 

[Eejit]

Pregnant with Anticipation [Of A New Lover's Arrival, The]

 

[Danimal]

Then why is he complaining in the first place?

 

[Eejit]

No patience I suppose.