American Airlines to have FREAKIN LASERS STRAPPED TO THEIR FUSALAGES

[CptStern]

pew pew

American airlines is working with BAE Systems, a government defense contractor, to develop this system ? known as JETEYE. JETEYE is designed to to detect infrared based missiles using multi-spectral processing and a bank of sensors. Once detected, an on board laser will disrupt it?s course causing it to, as their brochure describes, ?fly harmlessly away from the aircraft.? The system has been approved by the FAA and BAE says that it can detect and defeat all modern missiles.

American Airlines is concerned about the 150,000 or so shoulder to air missiles on the black market and in the hands of 27 different terrorist organizations. They hope that this system will take over where airport security leaves off, protecting the plane from would-be attackers who have positioned themselves in the area surrounding the airport.

http://howtosplitanatom.com/news/american-airlines-missile-defense-system/

because this is a regular occurance in american airports? colour me surprised

along with the news of lasers that go pew pew comes the news that American Airlines is redesigning their entire fleet of passenger airplanes

here's a prototype:

 

[Dalamari]

I lul'd

God damnit...I lul'd

 

[staticprimer]

Oh yeah, you can't go 5 feet at an airport without nearly getting hit by a SAM! It's about time they did something about this.

 

[PvtRyan]

It can't be a coincidence that "JETEYE" sounds like "Jedi."

Most of the defense budget actually goes to making up funny little backronyms.

 

[Raziaar]

Strategic Defense Initiation was not called Star Wars for nothing. They have a hard on for the movies.

 

[Jintor]

Great.

Wait until they unveil their Strategic Intelligence Thermoptic Helicoptors.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Lol at Jin and OP. Jeteye sounds pathetically useless.

 

[<RJMC>]

I never saw any man in arabics clothes whit SAMs around the airport higway when the plane landed

 

[V-Man339]

Because this is something that seriously must be fixed...

Wow.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Oh, I lol'd.

 

[TechnoHippyChic]

Next, all flights must be equipped with JETDRY, criss-crossing the republic, raining down spotlessness to make our dishes safe for freedom food.

 

[CyberPitz]

I can't wait until a Terrorist hijacks this bitch.

 

[Sgt.Tibbs]

I can't wait until a Terrorist hijacks this bitch.

When a terrorist DOES hijack the plane, they'll probably turn the lasers into phasers. USA couldn't do a damned thing to destroy those passenger planes.

 

[<RJMC>]

they can also use the lasers to roast birds,pull a net out of the plane to catch them and ready to serve!

 

[99.vikram]

I can't wait until a Terrorist hijacks this bitch.

You are now a terrorist. Stand still while I taze you in the face.

 

[CyberPitz]

You are now a terrorist. Stand still while I taze you in the face.

YOU WON'T CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPER!!
*Jumps in Lazerplane*

 

[McGooTheWise]

My mom works for BAE... She's a DBA.

She usually tells me stuff like this, but I haven't heard about that...

 

[Iced_Eagle]

America **** yeah!

 

[15357]

Aww damn.


I spent four hundred grand on stingers for nothing? :/








....

Come to think of it, how would someone obtain a AAGM? Isn't this a bit overboard?

 

[CptStern]

JETEYE is designed to to detect infrared based missiles using multi-spectral processing and a bank of sensors. Once detected, an on board laser will disrupt it's course causing it to, as their brochure describes, "fly harmlessly away from the aircraft."

prediction: Jeteye becomes redundant once terrorists figure out all they need to do is glue little mirrors on to their projectiles. like a giant phallic disco ball delivering rocket propelled death.