ancient mithology <RJMC>'s style

[<RJMC>]

I made this on the steam site chat and it give a great idea to make more

is ancient mithology at my style,it means whitout sense and in amore modern view

I will go whit greek mithology first

the castration of ouranus

ouranus(uranus) was one of the gods father of the titans(the one who where zeus and company where breed)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranus_(mythology)
the story in a simple way

In the Olympian creation myth, as Hesiod tells it in Theogony, Uranus came every single night to cover the earth and mate with Gaia, but he hated the children she bore him. Hesiod names the Titans, six sons and six daughters, the one-hundred-armed giants (Hecatonchires) and the one-eyed giants, the Cyclopes. Uranus imprisoned Gaia's youngest children in Tartarus, deep within Earth, where they caused pain to Gaia. She shaped a great flint-bladed sickle and asked her sons to castrate Uranus. Only Cronus, youngest of the Titans, was willing: he ambushed his father and castrated him, casting the severed testicles into the sea. For this fearful deed, Uranus called his sons Titanes Theoi, or "Straining Gods"[3]. From the blood which spilled from Uranus onto the Earth came forth the Gigantes, the three avenging Furies ? the Erinyes ? Meliae, the ash-tree nymphs and according to some, the Telchines. From the genitals in the sea came forth Aphrodite.

gaia is the godess of earth

and my version of the history
ouranus:I have come! time to shake the booty!

gaia: oh yes ride me cowboy!

*tons of nights of sex after*

ouranus:these kids are pussyes,they are not like the others like the ciclops,these are weird(the titans)
cyclop:I love you daddy
ouranus:shut it

gaia:but they are your kids too,how can you be so mad at them
cronus:you are a fag dad!
gaia:cronus watch your language!

ouranus:*grab cronus* and you are the most anoying of all
cronus:atleast my name will not be used as a joke for the rest of the millenia!
ouranus:arrgg is enough,to the cage in hell!*send the titan kids to hell*
gaia:nooo my beloved ones! I will get them out one day,and will bring pie
oceanus:I want apple pie
gaia:I dont like apple pie so screw it!
oceanus:aww
later-

gaia:what I can do? oh yes,if he want more sons I just will stop him from having them! good idea*search in kitchen and grabs big sickle*
later at the cage in hell-
gaia: ok kids this is the plan,someone must castrate your dad so he dont have any more children and be forced to release you all

oceanus:I dont want to do that
phoebe:he is still our dad
cronus:I will do it!
titan:*gasps*

gaia:good now let me take out so you use this sickle to shop his genitals*pulls cronus out of cage*
oceanus:why dont you take us out too
gaia: oh be pacient bunch of rats!
titans:awww

later-

ouranus is sleeping and cronus get to the window so he can chop ouranu's genitals
ouranus:zZzZzZZz

cronus try to get the sickle over the genitals,but stomp a bunch of bottles that falls to the ground,cronus see if the noise wakened ournaus but it didnt
them he tryes again but the sickle got stock in a handle of a closet and when cronus pull the closet fall and cause the others stuff in the room to fall in a susscesive way
cronus hide but notice that ouranus is still asleep
he tryes one more time to place the sickle over the genitals
but when trying he accidentaly push the buttom of a tv and it goes on
tv:welcome to the show of tony danza! 5 hours straight whit tony danza! and now here comes,tony danza!*aplauds and music start*
cronus get still thinking ouranus wake up,but he see ouranus is still sleeping
at that moment cronus get mad
cronus: oh **** it*jumps into the room and chop ouranu's genitals

ouranus:what the ****??!

cronus:*grab genitals*you want these? go get them!*trow them at the sea*

ouranus:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

a fisherman is in the sea fishing when he see some giant genitals falling to the sea in the distance,he them notices something white started to appear in the waves
fishermen: hmmp...I will never drink from the sea again

ouranus:*in the floor* why you do that?
gaia:*apearing in the scene* I told him to do it
ouranus:I knew it was you
gaia:now that you cant have more kids you will have to deal whit the ones you have,so let them out of the cage

ouranus liberated the titans and and jailed the other kids he brood,the giants and cyclops
cyclop:but I love you daddy*get stomped in the face into the cage by ouranus*

and the titans grew up and have theyr sons who will become he godess of the olympus
ouranus forgot his desire to be a adult movies actor so he lived whit gaia,who allways was sit in the couch looking her favorite tv show,the view

ouranus:I want to see the Ateam so I will change the channel
gaia:do you have the balls to do it?
ouranus:.........that was low
gaia:haha *eats chips*
ouranus: oh no,its rossie odonell! AAAAAHHHHHHh!!!1*go away running*

fin







I may post more later

next may be the 12 labors of hercules

btw ouranus was a son of gaia so that means he ****ed his mother
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_tree_of_the_Greek_gods

 

[kineaesth]

I do love you, RJMC.

Well done. Well done indeed.

 

[jerkasaur]

ouranus:I want to see the Ateam so I will change the channel
gaia:do you have the balls to do it?
ouranus:.........

****ing hilarious. Good job!
.

 

[Lucid]

I'm sure what exactly I just read, but I liked it.

 

[Emporius]

a fisherman is in the sea fishing when he see some giant genitals falling to the sea in the distance,he them notices something white started to appear in the waves
fishermen: hmmp...I will never drink from the sea again

What fisherman would drink from the sea?

Anyways, fantastic job, I await your next installment with bated breath :thumbs:

 

[jerkasaur]

What fisherman would drink from the sea?

The fisherman

 

[Jintor]

RJMC makes everything better.