And this is how it all ends.

[Adrien C]

This past 3 month I have been dating a girl from my class. It has been a pleasent past month, I had a lot of fun and learned a lot. Alas, it didn't seem to work. Even thought she told me she loved me, huged me, wrote to me, holded my, told me how I was special etc etc for countless time, it just didn't to seem to move on. You see, she had been "hurt" before by other guys, who used her for only their means (no wonder, with the body she's got). So she still things all man wants to hurt her, of course that's not my intention. The dog inside of me has been put to leash a long time ago.

This story happens in a bus way back home from a field trip. It's kind of over-exagerated on feeling, but I like to write, so I wanted to make this from a sentimental point of view. There are some cool quotes into it, I'll apreciate what you guys think of the writing and some killer lines.

I was sitting quietly in my seat, just looking at her sleep. The rest of the group was now silently resting, surrounded by the December night. The full moon was making a spectacle to my eyes; the blue ray of lights reflected her beautiful face, only a scene that I could admire. As I started to rest upon my thoughts, deep thinking and questioning started to invade my mind. Two hours ago, I was a just a little boy who didn't take no as an answer; a little boy who kept selfishly his feelings and a still a boy who would fight until no dignity was left
But now, matters were different, the tables had turned. The calmness of the night seemed to have serene my feelings to let serious judgment take place. It was time to stop feeling, and to start thinking.


In psychology class, I always thought that Freud was one hell of a dick, first for giving me so much hard work, and secondly, I’ll never understand why would people throw away a life time just to ask themselves the same question: “What do woman want?” But this particular night, this particular moment, for once in my life, I realized that Freud was a man that could only be understood in meticulous moments like this ones and that, judging by the situation, he hadn’t wasted enough time on the subject, as I was a desperate man in need of a desperate answer.


It’s funny, it had taken me 3 month to realise what I really wanted, and this can be resumed in just two words: Her happiness. After all this time I realised that it was all about making the other person happy hoping, she will return the favour.

I can say that I never been a quitter, but this time, for the first time in my existence, I realised this was a battle that I could not win. She was my Berlin, my Stalingrad.
It was time to end this affair, to end it quickly, abruptly, just like I once thought it started.
I proceeded to wake her up, gently. She opened her eyes, the ones that had kept me captivated to her all this time. “-What’s wrong, is the trip over?” she asked with a tired voice. -He, well if you want to see it this way… “- What do you mean?”
-Here we go-.
Well I have thought about it, and I’m sorry, but this is as far as I can go. This past month has been great, you were a worthy fight, but I think I can not go further. I just want you to be happy, find yourself someone that can respect as much as I did, keep you from harm as much as I did, protect you as much as I did and most importantly, love you as much as I did. Silence surrounded us. Her eyes looked at me as she was trying to read my mind, my soul. “I’m sorry if I have been like this, it’s not you, is just, that I’m not really ready to start dating again. I’m deeply sorry if I made you wait for so long.” And here were the words I feared to hear. But what done is done, so you just leave it alone and don’t regret it. I kept looking at her, she kept looking at me, both trying to analyse the situation from a theorical point of view, question to keep things matter as smooth as possible. She was looking gorgeous with the blue ray of lights , her worn-out eyes, her messy hair, her tired face, a mortal combination. This was a moment that I could not waste, the timing was perfect, could I **** this up more? I think not. I looked at her one more time and proceeded to kiss her.

It was a profound moment were magic and passion collided. Finally, the orgy of feelings inside of me had seemed to calm down to concentrate the heart, the soul the mind and the passion into the magical moment. I felt like Harry Potter.
The kiss could be taken as a metaphor of this last 3 months of dedication; it ended as swiftly as it started.


We slept the rest of the way back home, when time to say Godspeed arrived I stood upon her, just looking at her, and for once, I was thinking and not feeling. All I realised is that the journey is more important than the end or the start. I waved goodbye and got down the bus, still being the little boy who didn't take no as an answer; the same boy who kept selfishly his feelings and a still the same boy who would fight until no dignity was left.


Adrien Chatillon December 2005 All rights Reserved

 

[Boogymanx]

Wow. You can really see you loved her by reading that text. I wish you the best of luck in your next relationship(s)

 

[Nat Turner]

Show what you wrote to her. Oh yeah and I think your last semi-colon should be a hyphen.

 

[xLostx]

Danimal: Grow up.

 

[Dan]

yeah, love ****s you up, push it deep down with those other repressed emotions.

 

[CrazyHarij]

Sad story but still it seemed like you really learned alot from this.

Good luck in the future Adrien, you deserve the best.

 

[ZeeM]

Is this some kind of joke?

 

[Mr-Fusion]

yes, it's SOME kind of joke?

 

[Ren.182]

Sorry to hear that, Adrien.
Seems like you did really love her. </3
Hope you're ok. Best of luck with the future!

 

[Hectic Glenn]

Thats a really sad story, i think anyone else in a relationship can relate to that in the early stages, especially if its new to you and you feel things go too fast for you. Really nicely written Adrien, your someone who knows how to convey your emotions through words so naturally, I envy you for that. I hope you and her have recovered from that now. Your story has touched me

 

[xLostx]

Danimal is a homo. edit this ******.

 

[Adrien C]

Thanks for the comments guys. Well, like I told you before, it quite exagerated in a way, but yes it was hard. She told me that she wasn't ready 3 months before, but I told her that I would wait, I waited and waited an even if things were going great, it all ended that night. I still hang out with her as a friend, but still, there is allways a piece of you still fighting for her. The way I see it, she will one day see the light, as she told me no one has ever treated her like this before with such respect. You know woman guys, just act like you don't like them anymore and they'll come back, they ALLWAYS do.

 

[Solaris]

It seems she has serious issues, did you make a thread about here before or was that someone else?
Either way I think she needs a strong male freind right now to show not every one have zero respect for hot girls.

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

I hope she will go back to you soon. But be careful, make sure you can keep yourself aware of what she really wants, because if something happens where she starts moving away from wanting you, you've gotta balance your own feelings in tune or else that's gonna come down hard on you.

 

[Blackghost905]

Sorry about your loss

 

[Jintor]

Good luck.