Battle Of The Sexes: The ATM Machine

[Dynasty]

Just got this from a friend via Email.

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

************ ********* ********* *
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine...
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car..
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15.. Retrieve cash and receipt..
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles..
27. Release Parking Brake.

Last two made me giggle.

 

[Vegeta897]

Automatic Teller Machine Machine.

 

[ríomhaire]

If you enter your PIN number into an ATM machine you might get the HIV virus.

 

[Vegeta897]

Stop saying ATM machine. :frown:

 

[15357]

Who says ATM machine? It's like... redundant.

 

[Pulse]

That's a pretty good Automated ATM Machine joke right there.

 

[15357]

That's a pretty good Automated ATM Machine joke right there.

Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of wafer thin printed circuits that fill my complex. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for you at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.


No, j/k.

 

[The Monkey]

These types of jokes are becoming more than a little old, but this one was alright.

 

[PvtRyan]

"Men are from Mars and women are from Venus HURRRR" jokes really annoy me.

 

[Vegeta897]

Yeah wow, I didn't even realize how bad this thread is because I was preoccupied with the redundant stuff. This really looks like just a typical crappy chain email. Not to be a dick, but I'm really surprised you would post this, Dynasty. As an 04'er...

 

[Dynasty]

Aha, yeah I guess so.

I tend to jump into doing things I personally find funny before I think of the consequentially negative opinions I recieve as a result.

Because I should care what people think of me! Facebook! Twitter! Social networking...etc etc

 

[Dan]

You put your PIN number into the ATM machine. Don't confuse it with your SIN number. You might screw this up if you did poorly on your SAT test.

 

[Vegeta897]

Aha, yeah I guess so.

I tend to jump into doing things I personally find funny before I think of the consequentially negative opinions I recieve as a result.

Because I should care what people think of me! Facebook! Twitter! Social networking...etc etc

Haha, really I don't know why I say things like that, I really sound like an asshole saying something like that.

Unless you're laying some very dry sarcasm, I'm surprised you didn't get pissed at me

Well just in case, no hard feelings of course and it's nothing personal, I just post what pops into my head these days without any regard for how people are going to take it.

 

[jondy]

I love Redundant RAS Syndrome.

 

[PvtRyan]

The accepted term here is actually "pincode", used by banks and such. So, that's pretty redundant too.

 

[Barnz]

it's the 90s again!

 

[Dynasty]

Haha, really I don't know why I say things like that, I really sound like an asshole saying something like that.

Unless you're laying some very dry sarcasm, I'm surprised you didn't get pissed at me

Well just in case, no hard feelings of course and it's nothing personal, I just post what pops into my head these days without any regard for how people are going to take it.

Yeah Ive sent a complaint to Munro..

Nah. Its just sarcasm, anything to poke at someone's funny bone.

Its hard to get mad at the HL2.net veterans, we've seen it all happen here.

 

[sinkoman]

Yeah wow, I didn't even realize how bad this thread is because I was preoccupied with the redundant stuff. This really looks like just a typical crappy chain email. Not to be a dick, but I'm really surprised you would post this, Dynasty. As an 04'er...

Holy shit you fail so hard at life. Is there anything that pleases you anymore? You seem so jaded these days, which is pretty ironic.

 

[jondy]

Holy shit you fail so hard at life.

Swing and a miss there buddy.

 

[Pulse]

Sure is 04'ers up in here.

04 rules da rest drools!

 

[Dynasty]

Weirdly all within 6 months of each other...hmmm..

 

[sinkoman]

Swing and a miss there buddy.

His armchair elitist attitude is pretty fail, and HL2.net happens to be his life, so yeah.

 

[jondy]

Sure is 04'ers up in here.

04 rules da rest drools!

Shurrup December! *runs*

No more using fail as an adjective Sinko! Or... for anything else! You know I'm right!

 

[Tyguy]

These types of jokes are becoming more than a little old, but this one was alright.

that's what i figured this would be when reading the thread title but this was actually pretty funny

stupid women and their woman qualities

 

[Qonfused]

I heard there was an '04 meeting in this thread.

 

[Solaris]

Hate to gatecrash, but I'm only a month out...LET ME IN!!!

 

[MuToiD_MaN]

I enjoyed it even though it was straight out of my dad's "sent" box.

My post count doesn't allow me to lord over people as an '04.

 

[Tyguy]

PvtRyan can stay but the rest of you non-04's have to leave now.

rspkt.

 

[Eejit]

Get out of here, stalkers?

 

[jondy]

04 - matured like an excellent port ... unlike the vinegary 03s! Wahaha! /hides

 

[CyberPitz]

oh four, woot woot!

 

[Reginald]

Yo, what is up?! I heard there was an '04 party up in this bitch.

 

[Shyam]

Let me in guys, I am like only 5 years late to the party.

 

[Calhoun]

Stop saying ATM machine. :frown:

And PIN number, too, please.

'03 is best btw guys

 

[Vegeta897]

Holy shit you fail so hard at life. Is there anything that pleases you anymore? You seem so jaded these days, which is pretty ironic.

Well, if only you'd read my second post...

 

[sinkoman]

Well, if only you'd read my second post...

I did, but it doesn't erase the fact that you made the prior one, and it definitely doesn't change the fact that you've been a cynical e-bastard lately.

 

[Vegeta897]

It's not anything real though dude, it doesn't mean shit so maybe you should relax.

 

[sinkoman]

It's not anything real though dude, it doesn't mean shit so maybe you should relax.

I'm actually relaxed as can be. Sittin here nomzin on a Heath flavoured Klondike bar.

This post is a perfect example btw. Whatevers though, i've ceased caring. I just think a certain somebody needs to learn what the phrase "get stoked" means.

****, I got chocolate on my keyboard :{

 

[Vegeta897]

I really have no idea what you're talking about.

It's funny when people imagine things.

 

[Hectic Glenn]

No one is imagining anything, you're an asshole! More so recently than in the past perhaps but as long as you know you are I'm sure you'll pull out that nose dive Roberto.