Cannibal Eats Grandmother Whilst She’s Still Alive

[CyberPitz]

A man in Ukraine has been arrested and held for psychiatric testing after he allegedly sliced up his grandmother’s face and ate it, before finally killing her.

The man, a 26 year old named only as Vlad was arrested at a flat in Simferopol, Ukraine after his father broke down the door to find his dead mother lying in a pool of blood horrifically mutilated.

It is reported that Vlad used a shard of broken mirror to mutilate his grandmother, who had raised him as a child. Local police have said that Vlad gouged out his grandmother’s eyes and ate them as she screamed for help and tried to escape.

“The old woman was conscious and tried to escape, screaming. He responded by slicing off her tongue and eating it,” a police insider said.

By the time the woman’s son broke into the flat her eyes, tongue, ears and lips had been sliced off and eaten by her attacker and her skull eventually smashed in, killing her.

The witness fled the scene and called police who responded by pumping knockout gas into the flat to subdue the man before they entered. Inside the flat the police found the 26 year old covered in blood wearing only a pair of underpants and holding a cross, he was apparently carrying out a perverse funeral ritual. The man’s neighbours have described him as a religious fanatic.

http://www.themorningstarr.co.uk/2010/06/11/cannibal-eats-grandmother-whilst-shes-still-alive/

WHAT.
THE.
****.

 

[Mr. Djees]

Jesus Christ.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

He's a Snork.

 

[Rizzo]

That's a can o' bull.

 

[CyberPitz]

That's a can o' bull.

Holy shit I lol'd

 

[Krynn72]

Gross. Why would you want to eat an old person's face?

 

[Felix]

Om n-omg.

 

[Lucid]

His name is Vlad.

 

[MJ12]

Man, them Ukraines. Wasn't there a news story a few years ago about some Ukraine satanist kids killing and eating a girl?

 

[Sheepo]

I always find disturbing stories like this hard to swallow.

 

[Eejit]

The song of Kali is now sung, the age of Kali has begun.

 

[xombine]

The thread title really gives the guy a bad rap. Should read "Hungry man eats grandmother whilst she's still alive".

 

[Darkside55]

His grandma raised him and he eats her? Ugh, that's horrible. I can't stomach this thread.

 

[Yuri]

I always find disturbing stories like this hard to swallow.

Yeah, stories like this really give me an upset stomach.

 

[Sheepo]

I dunno, I think I'll wait for more reliable reports. I just can't take a story like this at face value.

 

[Vermintide]

Hmmm.

Let me go get my notepad, this sounds like the beginnings of a goregrind song...

P.S I am eating tortillas right now. Mmm.

 

[Yuri]

I dunno, I think I'll wait for more reliable reports. I just can't take a story like this at face value.

If you find something, give me a head's up.

 

[CyberPitz]

This sounded like a face eatingly good time!

Spoiler

Did I do it right?

 

[hot564231]

The real world is more scarier than any fiction created by man.

 

[Stigmata]

I'm tearing my face off trying to think of a good pun.

 

[hot564231]

I see what you did there

 

[Mr. Djees]

John Travolta and Nicolas Cage.

Oh yes, I produce the funnies.

 

[kirovman]

Vlad the Impaler

 

[VirusType2]

her eyes, tongue, ears and lips had been sliced off and eaten by her attacker

\
Uhg, that's really unappealing.

 

[Raziaar]

Does anybody else have a bad taste in their mouth?

 

[Qonfused]

Bloody hell...

 

[Sheepo]

I find all the puns being made about this story incredibly tasteless.

 

[Yuri]

Yeah, the lack of empathy from you all is really eating away at me.

 

[Sheepo]

Man, and you just returned to us after a long leave. If we don't try and save face you could very well abandon us again.

 

[Danimal]

For all we know, the grandmother could have been a twisted, ****ed up religious fanatic as well, raising him in the same manner.

Perhaps one day he saw a glimpse of hypocrisy in her teachings, something he believed his creator just couldn't tolerate, and he needed to do The Lord's work, in a ritualistic manner.

...

OH I MEAN, HOW UNTASTEFUL OLOL

 

[Robbo]

Why would you eat an old person, he could have made a perfectly good couch.........

......i couldn't think of one

 

[Naph]

Grand theft face is to blame for this. Damn vidya games.

 

[bam23]

I can't believe my eyes.

 

[Stigmata]

Everyone should hold their tongues. What if children see this? They can't face this sort of news.

 

[VirusType2]

I can't believe my eyes.

Everyone should hold their tongues. What if children see this? They can't face this sort of news.

Cut it out guys, I'm trying to eat.

 

[Lizardizzle]

That's a can o' bull.

sigged for amazingness.

but seriously. wtf.

just.. wtf.

 

[Solaris]

Come on guys, face the facts, this was a disgusting act..

 

[flamingdts]

Cut it out guys, I'm trying to eat.

I just realized your avatar perfectly depicts how the grandma was probably discovered.

 

[JUL3]

Proof that religion is stoopid.

 

[Sheepo]

For all we know, the grandmother could have been a twisted, ****ed up religious fanatic as well, raising him in the same manner.

Perhaps one day he saw a glimpse of hypocrisy in her teachings, something he believed his creator just couldn't tolerate, and he needed to do The Lord's work, in a ritualistic manner.

She probably told him to do it.

I just realized your avatar perfectly depicts how the grandma was probably discovered.

His avatar was way better animated.

Proof that religion is stoopid.

Thank god somebody said this because I think HL2.net needs to have a discussion about the stupidity of religion.