Dante's Inferno

I played the demo and it wasn't that great. Nothing bad about it, it was just okay.
 
Wow, this looks really terrible, like some kind of mediocre God of War clone. Why does he carry a giant scimitar? Why can he leap 50 feet in the air? On second thought, why is Dante even fighting demons? Isn't his character just supposed to run around and faint a lot?

I hadn't really heard anything about this game aside from the initial speculation, and now that I actually see what its about, I'm not at all interested. I thought it was going to be a survival horror type thing, not this stupid hack and slash.
 
I really didn't like the animation at the beginning of the demo. Thought it was a little out of place.
 
It's an average game from a team behind a great game, which means I reckon the team didn't really want to do this game but was force-fed it by EA.
 
Actually I just re-played the demo, and I think it was just the peer pressure of my friend saying it was good, because its pretty bad for a demo. Or it's because I feel like an ass for making an assumption off of a demo. Either way, this thread is useless, destroy it.
 
When I was first exposed to this, I wasn't quite as skeptical or quick to dismiss it as others, since I didn't really give a toss about the sanctity of the source material, and I had some amount of faith in the studio after playing Dead Space. However after playing the demo, yeah, it's um... really, really dumb. I mean this is literally about the first ten minutes and already it's like "okay what." Here, allow me to attempt to explain the story thus far:

So, Dante is a crusader IN THE CRUSADES who assists in the capture and slaughter of a bunch of innocent people, because they're like... a bargaining chip in some plot or something. Idunno they don't really explain it. BUT IT'S OKAY because it's ~god's work~ and the pope has totally absolved him of his sins. He can do that. He's the pope (maybe).

Anyway so the opening is just you wailing on waves and waves of defenseless third world-looking mother****ers with a giant polearm, and then you go down a path that opens because a ship randomly crashes into the... dock... thing you're standing on (why are you going there BECAUSE IT IS AN ACTION GAME AND YOU MUST FOLLOW THE PREDETERMINED PATH gosh we've come a long way since waiting for the flashing "GO" sign in Double Dragon), and then some dude just comes out of nowhere and stabs you in the back LOL UNAVOIDABLE CUTSCENE DEATH OR IS IT.

So then Death appears and he's all like "yo Dante, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish slaughtering legions of helpless women and children, but being damned for eternity is the best 2-minute plot twist ever." And Dante's like "nah g it's cool, I got a note from the pope, see it's on this cloth cross I have inexplicably sewn into my chest because I'm HXC like that," except it turns out he wasn't really the pope or something so instead Dante just straight up murders Death's ass and takes his scythe BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT'S ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. Subverting the natural order of things and irreversibly tipping the scales of life and death? P'shaw, I'M DANTE BITCHES CHECK OUT MY SWEET SPINE-SCYTHE.

So Dante goes home to his beautiful and faithful wife Beatrice, who is absolutely pure and chaste and YOU WILL NOT SEE HER WITHOUT HER TATAS OUT NOT EVEN ONCE FOR THE ENTIRE GAME but it turns out she's a little bit dead (unforseeable plot-twist count: 17). Then Beatrice turns into a ghost because that sort of thing happened all the time in the crusades and she's like, "sup," but then Satan drags her down to hell by WHAT ELSE HER BREASTS and Dante's all like "man."

But it's all cool because Dante goes to a chapel that just happens to be right in his back yard, which then COLLAPSES, REVEALING THE GATEWAY TO HELL SURE WHY NOT RIGHT. Then there's a kind of neat bit where you jam your scythe into a giant demon guy's head (~QUICK TIME EVENT~) and use it to kill some other smaller demon guys, and thus ends the demo and also my interest in this game.

The end. (8/10)
 
Sounds and looks like God of war. But probably alot less awesome.
 
This is one of the few games I've seen a thread about in the past couple of years that might actually be worth playing, IMO. That's right, I said it. You guys like shitty games.
 
I played the demo and had a lot of fun. I will be getting it from gamefly.
 
I'm disappointed in those of you who said that this game is anything more than abysmal. In addition to the hardxcore grimdark story Bad^Hat elaborated on, this game takes various shitty mechanics stolen from other games, combines them with a half-assed skill tree system, slaps a new coat of paint on them and sends you on your way, literally, into hell. A gamer's hell.

What this game consists of, if the demo is to be any indication, is that you will run for about five seconds into each area, whereupon the entrance and exits will be sealed by borders visible or invisible, and multitudes of enemies will swarm down on you to be dispatched with a combat system blatantly stolen from nearly every beat 'em up since August 23, 2001. As Dante--oh shit, even their names are the same; makes you wonder why the developers used such an unusual property as Dante's Inferno for a video game, huh?--you'll slice through hordes of unchallenging, unremarkable, and uninspired enemies, building up your bullshit combo meter that serves no purpose but to stroke your own casual, no-skill penis because you got to 100 hits simply by mashing one button. Certain enemies or attacks might require you a quick time button input that was popularized by God of War, but is actually really, really friggin' older.

But wait, that's not all! Once you get Death's scythe and the cross, you are at ease to liberally spam long-range attacks keeping you well out of harm's way and ensuring that you are free to play this game one-handed, allowing you your free hand to eat a sandwich, write a letter, or masturbate vigorously to the protagonist's dead girlfriend's tits. Along with these two artifacts of good and evil (how Death was 'evil,' I don't know) you can also grapple your enemies and choose to either condemn or redeem them, both of which are arbitrary bullshit moral choices that serve to increase your leveling toward holy skills or dark skills. This doesn't matter, of course, because you can easily level up both. The powers you can purchase after acquiring the requisite levels are also bullshit like "Throw more of those fucking crosses across the screen to hit everything without even trying," or "Hit that enemy really fucking far away because, y'know, it's not like we want this game to be challenging in any way." Also, by grabbing enemies to exact said redemption or judgement, you become immune to every other enemy's attack on screen. They'll mill about as you hold your current target, deciding to either eviscerate them with a push of one button or save them with cleansing light by repeatedly jamming on another. By the way, this mechanic completely nullifies the other combat mechanics in the game, because why would you do anything but grab your enemies? You gain levels and are immune to everything.

All of this is done for allowing you the pleasure of moving on to the next area, where you will lather, rinse, repeat.

At the end of the demo you fight a giant boss, which I wish I could say is the only non-bullshit part of the demo, but it's still pretty bullshit. You dodge out of the way of this behemoth's attacks and spam crosses and shit at it until you get a QTE allowing you to kill the rider on top, impale the beast through its eye, and ride it around to...smash another horde of enemies, now from a platform in which you are in even less danger of being harmed. Fuck.

If you have fun with this kind of game then you are probably the sort possessed of some kind of ADD and/or obsessive button-pressing compulsion. You would probably derive the same amount of pleasure from playing Dante's Inferno as you would playing whack-a-mole with your fists. The idea that anyone, anywhere, could have even a modicum of fun with this game is precisely the reason developers continue to foist this shit upon us. If you enjoy Dante's Inferno, if you think there's even enough entertainment to be gleaned here with a rental, you, yes YOU, are the cancer killing video games.
 
I come in this thread and read nothing but Darkside's post.

I can now leave with the confidence that I know what I need to do about this game.
 
Well, I haven't even played a demo. But that doesn't sound very good. I just wanted to play Double Dragon based clone 2010, but never mind.
 
theotherguy said:
why is Dante even fighting demons? Isn't his character just supposed to run around and faint a lot?
Click to expand...

Yes, turning an allegorical poem, one of the greatest pieces of literature, into a hack and slash action game is quite... disturbing. Psychological horror, maybe, but not this crap.
 
the cow says moo said:
It's too bad. Visceral was off to a great start.
Click to expand...
Yep.

You know the most disappointing thing for me? The lack of polish. Everything about the interface, right down to the menus is pure stock material (especially after their last game's innovative and visually impressive HUD), and the game itself just looks... well, bad. I mean not utterly horrible bargain-bin quality bad, but the graphics seem outdated, and the environments look bland as hell (:rimshot: ). Dante animates okay, but I guarantee you put him side-by-side with God of War he'll look jerky next to Kratos (and that aint easy :rimshot: :rimshot: ).

The worst part, at least going by the demo, is that the enemy deaths look so dull and unsatisfying in a game that is presumably all about killing enemies. I mean this is from the studio that made Dead Space. Ask anyone what the best aspect of Dead Space was. The atmosphere? No. The plethora of neat and inventive guns-disguised-as-tools? Not quite. The plot? Not even close. It was killing ****ing aliens and messing their shit all up with razor blades and lasers. The dismemberment system was awesome as hell and never got old because it looked and felt great. When you kill something in Dante's it just vanishes into thin air, leaving a mist of blood barely substantial enough to belong to a starving cat. Wowie.

Oh, there is one thing that could potentially save this game though. Apparently (from the game's ESRB rating) there's a boss somewhere in the game with a giant blue dong that flaps around realistically. That's right, THIS GAME HAS PENIS PHYSICS. SUCK THAT SHIT, LOST & DAMNED.
 
I really think Visceral didn't want to do this game. As if they didn't give a shit about this trash and just wanted to move on to focusing on DS2.
 
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
This is fun.


11gj5g9.png


Time to go chill with Epicurians.

Haha, get it, chill?
 
Damn are you extremely violent Mikael?:o

I didn't think you were a violent person!

Anyway, here's mine.

sinnero.png


I guess my socialdemocratic convictions help me since it means I don't support greed!*Runs*
 
Gargantou said:
Damn are you extremely violent Mikael?:o

I didn't think you were a violent person!

Anyway, here's mine.

sinnero.png


I guess my socialdemocratic convictions help me since it means I don't support greed!*Runs*
Click to expand...

It's medieval standards. You know, back then, you accidentally touch penis OH MY ****ING GOD BURN SINNER BURN.
 
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