Dealing with Arrogance

sinkoman

sinkoman

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A friend of mine has turned into an arrogant & cocky prick, and i'm really having a tough time dealing with it.

I've told him, straight to his face, that he's changed, and that he's being really arrogant & cocky, and he wasn't fazed at all.

So i've just made it a point in the way I emote myself in conversation and daily interpersonal interaction that we are absolute equals, and that he's not a better person than me, and I can tell that he's getting the picture.

Maybe subconsciously, but I can tell that it's working, because i've noticed that he's been getting really irritated with me, and straight up being confrontational with me, since I no longer just submit to his shit.

So I really don't know what to do. The way my social group works out, it's really difficult for me to outright ignore him, and because we used to be REALLY close friends, almost brothers, I really don't want to write him off as a friend, and let things escalate to the point where we get physical.

I really don't want to ignore him, and I REFUSE to submit to him, but doing so just creates conflict, and i'd rather avert conflict, because I really do believe that he'll become his normal self some day.

How the hell do you deal with somebody like this?
 
The world just isn't good enough for you, man!
 
Knife + oven. :bounce:

That's right, bake a cake.

(or cut him into pieces and eat him)
 
I have the same problem with some of my old friends that I thought were close to me and family members as well. I just one day realized..**** em you know? I know its hard, I had a close friend who Ive known pretty much since I was about 9 stab me in the back, it was hard and I couldn't even fight him cause I was so close to him. Its too weird, like fighting a family member or something. But atleast thats what it sounds like with you right? If hes a prick just forget about it and go on, people change. Maybe just distance between the two of you would help? It sounds like Thats the only way it wont become confrontational.
 
Every time he's a dick, kick him in the nuts and leave.

It won't solve your problem, but you'll feel better for a little while.
 
I usually just avoid people like that if possible. If not, I sometimes mimic them & when they resist, I tell them harshly/arrogantly, "If you don't like me doing it, the maybe you should stop doing it yourself." Other approaches include playing on their insecurities, or laughing them off & not taking them seriously when they act like an arrogant prick.

Overall, the best approach is just to ignore them and stay away when practical.
 
My parents always told me that friends will come and go in life.
I never believed them until high school ended and sure enough they came and had gone.

These days I use the word "friend" lightly, and there are very, very few people I would consider as such.

Hate to say it, but this friend of yours whose life has taken a path much unlike your own may very well never turn back. As identities start to form and people grow older they will change. Some may have many friends who never abandon one another, some may end up reclusive and rely more on their own integrity to get by. My advice is to sort out who you are first, then the rest will fall in to place on it's own.

If you're not comfortable with yourself in the absence of friends and a social circle, that might be a reasonable goal to try for. I ended up in a solitude of sorts because of mistakes I had made, then figured the rest out later - I don't recommend it.
 
I had a friend just like that, really pissed me off. I just stopped talking to him, because I was sick of his, "I'm right and you're wrong....wait, I'm wrong? I'm still write, stfu." attitude.
 
There are only six responses to deal with arrogance. They all reside within a revolving cylinder.
 
I had a good friend that became a right prick after his mother died, I tried to reconnect with him, but another friend pissed him off, and he blamed me instead of her, so I eventually stopped giving a damn.

It's up to you how much you want to put up with. Has he had some kind of traumatic experience? If he's just devolved into an asshole for no reason you may have to just write it off as beyond your control...
 
That happened to me, last year of sixth form i realised almost all my friends were complete arrogant assholes.

very few which were really going to get into and real career.

So i just thouhgt **** them. Started going out with mates from work. made a decent group of friends there.

Gone to uni and i have a group of mates who im goign to be living with next year. so it will always sort out.

tho if u do decide to leave themselves to it id suggest taking up some hobby or somethign or going to martial arts or somethgin to meet new people other wise u will be stuck with no one
 
grab pipe of iron and smash its head until you heard a "splarg"
 
Give him a good bumming. That'll teach him.

Or let him bum you, that way you can take advantage of him being apparently a really big prick. I don't know how that solves your issue, but hey.
 
I got a buddy who's like that, whenever he gets all up on himself I knock him down a few pegs and he shuts right up.
 
Dalamari said:
I got a buddy who's like that, whenever he gets all up on himself I knock him down a few pegs and he shuts right up.
Click to expand...
That's horrible, picking on a pirate like that.

PMSL LOL
 
Pirates, lul.

CyberPitz once told me I reminded him of that same friend. Not that I care, because I am actually right and everyone else is wrong.
 
Take a revolver....you'll know what to do.


really, just stay away from him
 
What specific revolver Bowsniper?
 
A .357 magnum revolver (the one from HL2)
Or a Colt Navy .45 would work.
 
Pesmerga said:
Pirates, lul.

CyberPitz once told me he reminded him of that same friend. Not that I care, because I am actually right and everyone else is wrong.
Click to expand...

I'm glad I remind myself of him...?
*shake head*
 
I don't associate with too many people I knew from Highschool. Eventually I just said "f*** em all" and went my own way. Graduated college at 20, have an awesome job now, and in less than a year I expect to quit my job and become an independent consultant, which would be like super extreme awesomeness!

I guess I could be a totally arrogant prick now if I really wanted to, but it's really not worth it. All it does is create shitty friendships.
 
They feed off attention. Just ignore him as best you can, if he says something that annoys you, resist the temptation to react. Even if hes right in your face, just keep walking, like hes not there. Itll take a while, but eventually, they get bored and stop being the way they are.
 
sinkoman said:
A friend of mine has turned into an arrogant & cocky prick, and i'm really having a tough time dealing with it.

I've told him, straight to his face, that he's changed, and that he's being really arrogant & cocky, and he wasn't fazed at all.

So i've just made it a point in the way I emote myself in conversation and daily interpersonal interaction that we are absolute equals, and that he's not a better person than me, and I can tell that he's getting the picture.

Maybe subconsciously, but I can tell that it's working, because i've noticed that he's been getting really irritated with me, and straight up being confrontational with me, since I no longer just submit to his shit.

So I really don't know what to do. The way my social group works out, it's really difficult for me to outright ignore him, and because we used to be REALLY close friends, almost brothers, I really don't want to write him off as a friend, and let things escalate to the point where we get physical.

I really don't want to ignore him, and I REFUSE to submit to him, but doing so just creates conflict, and i'd rather avert conflict, because I really do believe that he'll become his normal self some day.

How the hell do you deal with somebody like this?
Click to expand...

People change. He?ll come around someday, sometimes they need to be alone to remember what it?s like to be a douche.

Be patient, I suppose.
 
"...how could this happen to me?"
 
sinkoman said:
How the hell do you deal with somebody like this?
Click to expand...

It's funny that you ask because I have been dealing with the exact same shit. Here is a short transaction we had recently.

Yay drama!

Me: wow you have no idea
Him: I have bluetooth on my phone douchebag
Me: youre the douchebag for pretending to know what i have and its nothing like your explaination
Him: Well thats how you do it and if you cant figure out how to use bluetooth you shouldn't have a bluetooth phone anyways.
Me: youre a ****in jerk *log off*

*log on, various personal offline messages from me that for some reason were not saved, demanding an apology, after days earlier admitting apologies are unimportant to me*

Him: Well i'm not going to apologize. You would say something similar if I didn't know anything about cruise control on the svx or couldn't figure out the climate controls. I am who I am and if you can't deal with it I suggest you disassociate yourself with me.
Me: no, i would not say somethign similar unless you acted like you know everything which you do all the time
Me: you always talk to me as if im stupid and "who you are" isnt an excuse to be an ass to me
Me: whenever theres an argument its always you that says something derogatory or insulting to piss me off
Me: sure i reciprocate it back to you more than i got it but i dont act like a jerk out of the blue
Me: if you want to be a dickhead I suggest you get it out of your system before you contact me

*more offline messages not saved again, along the lines of him asking if I was still "aggro", me saying I didn't want to "disassociate" with him, and him apologizing*

We've be arguing a lot lately and he really is a stupid pompous FOCK, but I've found pointing out his problems and the reasons he's a pyschopath doesn't help the issue. Be honest, be nice, but don't show weakness unless your friend can respect it.

Yes, he's a psycho. Observe:

Him: doog I flipped the white eclipse upside down today =D
Him: So I have a upside down car in my parking lot lawl
Me: you proud
Him: I was bored
Him: and started ramming it with lances explorer
Him: until it flipped over :D
Me: that was a stupid thing to do
Him: Nah I got plenty of room and tomorrow the guy is coming to pay 150.00 for the shell and he's going to scrap the metal.
Him: cut the front clip off and put it up for sale I guess on his junkyard national wensite or whatever
Him: I forgot to draint he gas tank so a lot of gas spilled everywhere :/
Him: tosses a match on the concrete and let it all burn off
Him: cleaned it up pretty good too =D

*silence*

He's a ridiculous jerk but he's my friend. :/
 
Best way to deal with arrogance is to just be right all the time.
 
You can literally see the shit-vapours rising from this thread.
 
_Z_Ryuken said:
It's funny that you ask because I have been dealing with the exact same shit. Here is a short transaction we had recently.

Yay drama!

Me: wow you have no idea
Him: I have bluetooth on my phone douchebag
Me: youre the douchebag for pretending to know what i have and its nothing like your explaination
Him: Well thats how you do it and if you cant figure out how to use bluetooth you shouldn't have a bluetooth phone anyways.
Me: youre a ****in jerk *log off*

*log on, various personal offline messages from me that for some reason were not saved, demanding an apology, after days earlier admitting apologies are unimportant to me*

Him: Well i'm not going to apologize. You would say something similar if I didn't know anything about cruise control on the svx or couldn't figure out the climate controls. I am who I am and if you can't deal with it I suggest you disassociate yourself with me.
Me: no, i would not say somethign similar unless you acted like you know everything which you do all the time
Me: you always talk to me as if im stupid and "who you are" isnt an excuse to be an ass to me
Me: whenever theres an argument its always you that says something derogatory or insulting to piss me off
Me: sure i reciprocate it back to you more than i got it but i dont act like a jerk out of the blue
Me: if you want to be a dickhead I suggest you get it out of your system before you contact me

*more offline messages not saved again, along the lines of him asking if I was still "aggro", me saying I didn't want to "disassociate" with him, and him apologizing*

We've be arguing a lot lately and he really is a stupid pompous FOCK, but I've found pointing out his problems and the reasons he's a pyschopath doesn't help the issue. Be honest, be nice, but don't show weakness unless your friend can respect it.

Yes, he's a psycho. Observe:

Him: doog I flipped the white eclipse upside down today =D
Him: So I have a upside down car in my parking lot lawl
Me: you proud
Him: I was bored
Him: and started ramming it with lances explorer
Him: until it flipped over :D
Me: that was a stupid thing to do
Him: Nah I got plenty of room and tomorrow the guy is coming to pay 150.00 for the shell and he's going to scrap the metal.
Him: cut the front clip off and put it up for sale I guess on his junkyard national wensite or whatever
Him: I forgot to draint he gas tank so a lot of gas spilled everywhere :/
Him: tosses a match on the concrete and let it all burn off
Him: cleaned it up pretty good too =D

*silence*

He's a ridiculous jerk but he's my friend. :/
Click to expand...

Wow, he makes my bud look like an angel.

Well, his arrogance is a lot less upfront.

I'd say it's actually more cockiness, and i'd imagine that it stems from insecurity of some sort, because i've noticed that at parties and shit, he gets quiet and awkward, and often says stupid awkward shit that goes unnoticed.

He'll do dumb shit like ditch us to go to a party without even raising a finger, and displays a general sense of superiority in his every day conversation.

I dunno how to exemplify it, but it's so damned obvious that he thinks he's a badass of some sorts, just by the things he says, and how he says them.

I recall a few weeks ago, me and him were just chilling in his room, when a younger family friend of his, who happens to be rather awkward and socially inept came to him asking for advice with girls. Friend chimes in like he's the king of bitches, and starts tossing about all sorts of bullshit advice to the kid.

Kid walks out of the room, and I tell him "dude, are you ****ing serious?"

He goes "nah, I mean, some of the shit I told him was honest to god what I thought, but I was just ****ing with him" as he cracks a smile.

The other day, I call him up to see what he's up to, when he tells me that he's at Wallmart doing nothing, and that he'll call when him and the guys he was with found something to do.

I tell him "sure..." in a sarcastic tone, because this is about the 50th time that he's told me he'd call and try to coordinate something with me once he found out what was going on that night.

He goes "what?"

I go "Yeah... Sure you'll call...", sarcastically.

He goes "fine then, I won't call"

I go "nah, of course I have no problem with you calling, but seriously man, come on, if you say you're going to call, do it. I'm getting sick of you shitheads saying 'oh yeah i'll call you tonight, don't worry', and then my phone sits there id..."

He cuts me off mid sentence and says "Hey, don't make me yell at you".

I, flabbergasted, go "WHAT?"

"Yeah, you heard me, don't make me yell at you like a little ****ing kid in the middle of Wallmart"

"uh... WHAT?", hoping that he's just joking around, because srsly, what kind of ****hat tells a man 'oh hai imma yell at yew ok?'

"Everybody will think you're like my son or something, that i'm talking to some little child on the phone, everybody in wallmart will hear me"

"****, whatever man...", and I hang up
 
ITT we learn to bother our IRL friends about this kind of thing.

Or bottle it up. Like real men.
 
Decking the kid in the face isn't a bad option, either. In fact, it's probably quite character building.
 
Sinko you friend sounds like an asshole. My friend had a way shittier childhood than I had, which is saying a lot. For example his mom died during his birth, so I credit that towards his attitude, but he too can be a prick. It sucks because he wasn't like this when I hung out with him back in the day. We were like brothers and now since we only talk online our bond seems to be deteriorating rapidly.
I think you might have to stand up to this kid or do something like you said, prove you stand on equal ground. My friend is just a greedy selfish dick. There's nothing I can do but be nice to avoid confrontation.

And lol, Pes, I'm done being a "real" man. I don't want to have an aneurism (sp) when I'm 30. :LOL:

+1 to making him fall down somehow.
 
_Z_Ryuken said:
Sinko you friend sounds like an asshole. My friend had a way shittier childhood than I had, which is saying a lot. For example his mom died during his birth, so I credit that towards his attitude, but he too can be a prick. It sucks because he wasn't like this when I hung out with him back in the day. We were like brothers and now since we only talk online our bond seems to be deteriorating rapidly.
I think you might have to stand up to this kid or do something like you said, prove you stand on equal ground. My friend is just a greedy selfish dick. There's nothing I can do but be nice to avoid confrontation.

And lol, Pes, I'm done being a "real" man. I don't want to have an aneurism (sp) when I'm 30. :LOL:

+1 to making him fall down somehow.
Click to expand...

Luls, I was actually talking to some people about this the other day, and i've got about 3 people backing me on jumping his ass in the middle of the night about a month away from now.

I'm seriously considering going through with it right now.
 
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