[Draft] HL2 fan-fic, currently nameless

[Atomic_Piggy]

Prologue:

"I'm am getting bored of waiting citizen, respond to my questions now or I'll make the suppression field irrelevant for you".
The voice was as cruel and cold as the rusty metal seat Sarah was tied too. Her face was raw with her tears. Dirty masking tape covered her mouth. The civil protection officer was maskless, and he was red faced and pissed as hell.
"Last chance girl, tell me where you hid the cache before we found you. I have had naught but simulations for pleasure ever since the Combine came here - it'll be nice to have a real girl, even if she is set for death." The CP gave a grin, his ugly face turning even uglier. "You are pretty cute" He trailed off.
He ripped the tape off Sarah's face. She managed to lift her head, still pounding from when they had burned and beaten her earlier and managed to mutter, "God will punish you."
"Tell him to get in the ****ing queue!" The CP spat and smacked her face again; sealing the masking tape back in place, he took out a knife with a sheepish grin on his face.
"This is going to hurt!"
Sarah tried to scream as her eyes were gouged from her sockets.

 

[Omega11]

Wow, I like =]

Lo and behold, the Roman Treatment of Christianity =D

Lol, I like it ^^ it could use a bit of polishing in some ways, but I'd definitely like to read more ^^.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Wow, I like =]

Lo and behold, the Roman Treatment of Christianity =D

Lol, I like it ^^ it could use a bit of polishing in some ways, but I'd definitely like to read more ^^.

Cool thanks. This is basically a draft of sorts, I'll pretty it up later. I just wanna make sure everyone likes the first couple of chapters, and then I'll do a proper write up. I haven't attempted a fan-fic for a couple of years, so I'm a little rusty. :afro:

 

[Omega11]

Lol, I write lots, but I've never bothered with Fan-Fic for HL at all. . . been aspiring to though ^^

Hoorah Motivation =D

 

[Acepilotf14]

D:
Put a comma after 'waiting'.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Done.

 

[Jintor]

So, what happened to the suppression field?

 

[soulslicer]

yeah, how come the combine cp wants to "perform" when the field is up

great nevertheless..

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Because...er..., I...HEY LOOK A FLYING BIRD *dives out of thread window*

 

[Omega11]

*Thread window is made of bullet proof plexiglass* >D

Lol, could it be that maybe th CP officer just wants to 'feel around'? I mean,maybe he just wants to. . . meh, He's a determined psychopath, he'd find a way ^^

 

[Acepilotf14]

Bondage!
D:!
Anyway, It's good.
You should call it...
TO CATCH A CP PREDATOR

 

[Jintor]

I say you need to work on making it even freakier.

"I'm getting bored of waiting, citizen." he hissed through the mask. The metallic, synthesised voice - designed to be menacing, to scare - was doing its job well. "Respond to my questions now. Or I'll make the suppression field... irrelevant."

What little human emotion left in the voice was as cruel and as cold as the rusty chair Sarah was tied to. Her face was raw with her tears. Dirty masking tape covered her mouth. The Civil Protection officer reached up slowly, pulling the mask off his head, to reveal his face - red, angry, and pissed as hell.

"Last chance, girl. Tell me where you hid the cache before we found you. I've only had simulations for pleasure since this shit started - it'd be nice for real flesh again, even if she is set for death."

The Officer grinned, his ugly smile growing uglier. "I gotta admit, you are pretty cute." His eyes flashed, his arm blurred - Sarah reeled as his fist smashed into her solar plexus, then screamed as the masking tape was ripped off her mouth. "Come on, girl. Giveus a kiss" he leered.

"God... god will... punish you!" she muttered, managing to lift her head and look directly into his eyes. "God will punish you."

"Tell him to get in the ****ING QUEUE!" he roared, spittle flying over her face. With a vicious movement, he sealed the tape back over her mouth, and reached around to his belt. Her eyes widened at the sight of the knife covered in congealed blood.

"This might hurt... ah, what the hell. This is ****ING GOING TO HURT!" he screamed, and lunged.

 

[Acepilotf14]

^^^^ Win.
Epic.

 

[ríomhaire]

I like the setting, but something about the dialogue seems a little...weird. I don't really know.

 

[Omega11]

Same, I don't think you'd find many 'predator's as CPs at all, and I keep picturing a fat-redfaced-Barney Calhoun XD

Also, most CPs seem so much more. . . formal? Like, they do their job properly. I mean, true, we DO see lots of abuse by CPs, but what I mean is that the one guy seen in AP's story, doesn't seem to fit =/.

Also, I doubt the combine wuld give him such a luxury as 'simulations' XD.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Also, I doubt the combine wuld give him such a luxury as 'simulations' XD.

They do. In HL2 the announcer woman says good service will be rewarded with "reproductive simlations" or something to that aaffect.

 

[ríomhaire]

Cops can used "sterilized credits" to buy "non-mechanical reproduction simulation".

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Cops can used "sterilized credits" to buy "non-mechanical reproduction simulation".

Thats it.

 

[Omega11]

Oo
I never noticed >.>