Ever have one of those days?

[Krynn72]

The kind of day where you wake up on the right side of the bed? Feeling refreshed, happy, and in touch with life? Im in one of those days right now, although, I didnt wake up in bed, and have been up for 30-something hours now. I just feel good. My music is extra uplifting today, the sun is out and shining, lighting up my whole apartment with sunlight. I went to the store to get groceries, and just walked around aimlessly for awhile, watching the people there. When I checked out, I found that I was about 20 bucks under what I thought was about to spend (which was $50, so its a big deal) and that put a smile on my face. Ive smiled at so many people already, and they all smile back like its contagious.

I dont know what it is, but I feel like I could go skipping down the sidewalk with my mp3 player, waving and smiling at other pedestrians, helping ladies with their bags, and keep on skipping through some garage, handing mechanics whatever tool they need, through office buildings bringing TPS reports and memos around to whoever needs them, through the park handing out sandwhiches to all the hobos, through elementary schools shuffling kid's hair, giving them thumbs up and telling them to keep up their studies.

I feel like I could just go skipping down the street even if planes were crashing out of the air, cars were piling up in intersections and the military was going around shooting terrorists in my neighborhood. I would just keep on smiling and skipping to the uplifting beat playing through my headset, through all the flames, explosions, shrapnel and debris.

I feel ****ing great.

 

[Raziaar]

I honestly wish I had days like that.

It might be LSD in your water.

 

[Krynn72]

I honestly wish I had days like that.

It might be LSD in your water.

Nah, I dont drink the Florida tap water. I drink store-bought water that comes in a jug with a tap for easier pouring.

 

[Angry Lawyer]

For the last year or so, every day I've been waking up in a worse and worse mood. It's as if the colours of the world are slowly desaturating, and a day is merely there as a stopgap until a hypothetical tomorrow.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[Cormeh]

Not had one of those days for a long, long time. Possibly because I'm a miserable sod.

 

[Krynn72]

The worst day since yesterday syndrome huh? Ive had that. You should just go the park, or walk around the mall and force yourself to smile at anyone who makes eye contact. I find it makes it neigh impossible to stay in a depressing mood when you're smiling and people are smiling back.

 

[Raziaar]

For the last year or so, every day I've been waking up in a worse and worse mood. It's as if the colours of the world are slowly desaturation, and a day is merely there as a stopgap until a hypothetical tomorrow.

-Angry Lawyer

You and me both buddy. Sleep is the most enjoyable thing for me... Because I don't have to face the reality that is once I'm awake. But then again I have Bipolar I'm fairly certain so I kind of chalk it up to that. The problem is, I don't get the manic days. Just the depression days.

 

[Angry Lawyer]

You sure it's bipolar, then? Because bipolar without the highs is just normal depression, which I've had on and off for years.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[Pesmerga]

For the last year or so, every day I've been waking up in a worse and worse mood. It's as if the colours of the world are slowly desaturation, and a day is merely there as a stopgap until a hypothetical tomorrow.

-Angry Lawyer

Angry Lawyer... that makes me

 

[Raziaar]

You sure it's bipolar, then? Because bipolar without the highs is just normal depression, which I've had on and off for years.

-Angry Lawyer

Well I mean I do have days where I'm a little more giddy than usual, but it doesn't last long. I don't really consider it manic.

But I do think it's Bipolar. My brother has it I think... and I know my Mom has it, she has a severe case of it, and I think we got it from her genes.

I'm almost 100% certain what I have just isn't your run of the Mill depression... It's way too severe for that to be the case, and has gone on far too long.

 

[15357]

For the last year or so, every day I've been waking up in a worse and worse mood. It's as if the colours of the world are slowly desaturation, and a day is merely there as a stopgap until a hypothetical tomorrow.

-Angry Lawyer

That sounds actually/really depressing.




As for me, no. Never. Every day I wake up, I realize that it's the same day from yesterday. Endless repeats with one or two variables. :/

 

[Angry Lawyer]

Ah.

Bipolar II disorder is characterized by hypomanic episodes as well as at least one major depressive episode. Hypomanic episodes do not go to the extremes of mania (i.e. do not cause social or occupational impairment, and without psychotic features), and a history of at least one major depressive episode. Bipolar II is much more difficult to diagnose, since the hypomanic episodes may simply appear as a period of successful high productivity and is reported less frequently than a distressing depression. Psychosis can occur in manic and major depressive episodes, but not in hypomania. For both disorders, there are a number of specifiers that indicate the presentation and course of the disorder, including "chronic", "rapid cycling", "catatonic" and "melancholic". Bipolar II, which occurs more frequently is usually characterized by at least one episode of hypomania and at least one depression.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[Krynn72]

You guys have a terrible mindset. If you're so bored with your life, do something ****ing different once in awhile. How much you enjoy life is entirely up to you.

 

[Raziaar]

Well, it's all just a matter of getting it diagnosed. But I mean, why get something diagnosed if I can't afford to treat it anyways? No point really. I haven't even been outside in weeks because I just can't face the outside world. Been severely bummed.


Anyways. This is supposed to be a happy thread. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Sorry Krynn.

 

[Krynn72]

Too late. The noose is already around my neck.

 

[Pesmerga]

On school days, I wake up happy and looking forward to hitting on more girls.

On work days, I wake up happy and looking forward to hitting on more waitresses.

On off days, I wake up happy and looking forward to having fun with my friends.

 

[Raziaar]

On school days, I wake up happy and looking forward to hitting on more girls.

On work days, I wake up happy and looking forward to hitting on more waitresses.

On off days, I wake up happy and looking forward to having fun with my friends and hitting on them.

Fixed.

 

[Angry Lawyer]

You guys have a terrible mindset. If you're so bored with your life, do something ****ing different once in awhile. How much you enjoy life is entirely up to you.

You truly have no idea.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[The Monkey]

Well, it's all just a matter of getting it diagnosed. But I mean, why get something diagnosed if I can't afford to treat it anyways? No point really. I haven't even been outside in weeks because I just can't face the outside world. Been severely bummed.


Anyways. This is supposed to be a happy thread. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Sorry Krynn.

Weren't you gonna move out of Texas?

 

[Phobie]

I went to the gym today and ran FIVE MILES, yeah boy. I felt great for about half an hour, now I feel like shit. I'm actually in a terrible mood. DAMMIT.

 

[15357]

I don't know what I look forward to anymore....

 

[evil^milk]

Well, it's all just a matter of getting it diagnosed. But I mean, why get something diagnosed if I can't afford to treat it anyways? No point really. I haven't even been outside in weeks because I just can't face the outside world. Been severely bummed.


Anyways. This is supposed to be a happy thread. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Sorry Krynn.

Well, if it's a matter of getting it diagnosed, but you can't pay really pay for it, then it defeats the purpose of getting it diagnosed. Which means you are wasting your time and energy on something (on the best of cases) you might think you have, so you think you have something which gives you an excuse to do nothing, or (on the worst of cases) you have bipolar disorder - which by your medically approved diagnosis should really just get out there, do some exercise, start talking to people who you don't even know (hobos, old people, whatever raises your self-esteem or something). If you may have bipolar disorder, then look up on cheap/effective ways to treat it. Don't waste your time thinking if you may have it or not.

Oh and go to a doctor. How do you know if you can't afford to get it treated? Why don't you mention that to your doctor? He knows way more than I or anyone here really.

So what do you do? Post here and waste your life on hl2.net? Go outside man, do something different once in a while.

 

[Bad^Hat]

I've been constipated for about two or three months now. Excuse me if I wake up feeling a bit shite.

 

[evil^milk]

On topic yesterday was one of those days. Today I feel a bit glum, school is starting and stuff. But I also feel really excited, which makes me shake a bit inside.

 

[evil^milk]

That sounds actually/really depressing.




As for me, no. Never. Every day I wake up, I realize that it's the same day from yesterday. Endless repeats with one or two variables. :/

Well, what's a typical day of yours like?

 

[Pesmerga]

Fixed.

Only the ones with big boobs.

 

[Raziaar]

So what do you do? Post here and waste your life on hl2.net? Go outside man, do something different once in a while.

You say it like it's 100% a conscious effort... which isn't always the case. Case by case basis, completely dependent on the person.

I'm not sitting here saying, "Oh, I just can't be bothered to go outside. Too much fun stuff to do. Too many exciting things and I just can't be arsed to get some fresh air."

Not the case at all. I can't even describe what it feels like, when there's a sort of mental barrier that prevents you from going out and doing some things that most people only second guess and then do.

It doesn't just apply to doing other stuff in the outside world. It applies to things in here even, things that I normally would enjoy. I find myself unable to play video games and stuff too. Things I know that I would have a blast doing. I start, and then it's like... something compels me to abandon it.

 

[Phobie]

I get that, actually I thought I was getting a bit agoraphobic. I missed 2 weeks of uni. I'd get up, get ready, put on my coat and hat and scarf...get to the front door and just...break down. It was really odd.

I'm alright now though, alcohol fixes an awful lot. Also exercise.

 

[Cormeh]

alcohol fixes an awful lot.

I enjoy a drink, but I've been down that particular path and I wouldn't advise it. D:

 

[Rapstah]

Isn't this thread name the same as the one Gabe created when HL2 was leaked?

 

[Narcolepsy]

The longer I'm alive, the more I realize how little control we have over our moods and actions. Even people without a supposed disorder I'm sure have felt angry for no reason, depressed for no reason, and have absolutely no way to make it go away. It's just chemistry.

That's not to say we don't have control over any of our actions, but the effects of mood can be almost insurmountable. Think about how difficult it is to stop a habit even if all of your being is focused on overcoming it.

That said, Krynn, I do have days like that. I remember the night Radiohead's In Rainbows came out, I was up late working on some ungodly paper. I basically didn't sleep that night, and had to drag myself through a day of hell about to collapse, but for some reason, I was the happiest guy alive. Just trekking through campus with my mp3 player in hand, blasting Radiohead and feeling good about the world.

 

[evil^milk]

You say it like it's 100% a conscious effort... which isn't always the case. Case by case basis, completely dependent on the person.

I'm not sitting here saying, "Oh, I just can't be bothered to go outside. Too much fun stuff to do. Too many exciting things and I just can't be arsed to get some fresh air."

Not the case at all. I can't even describe what it feels like, when there's a sort of mental barrier that prevents you from going out and doing some things that most people only second guess and then do.

It doesn't just apply to doing other stuff in the outside world. It applies to things in here even, things that I normally would enjoy. I find myself unable to play video games and stuff too. Things I know that I would have a blast doing. I start, and then it's like... something compels me to abandon it.

Sorry, I didn't know you felt like that.

Is it like, for example, you wake up, barely eat and are already full, try to do things but only mechanically since you aren't really feeling it or are feeling something much worse?

You try to say, write for example, but it feels like you're writing the same thing over and over again, or what you wrote before sucks hard, so then you quit?

You barely have energy throughout the day, so you start watching tv but even that feels like a heavy burden because it's either so fake, too much like you, too different from you, or you're not even watching the tv?

 

[Pesmerga]

Some people say they're depressed as an escapism for reality. Some people are genuinely depressed and need clinical help.

 

[evil^milk]

I enjoy a drink, but I've been down that particular path and I wouldn't advise it. D:

Neither would I. Not too long ago there were dark consequences.

The longer I'm alive, the more I realize how little control we have over our moods and actions. Even people without a supposed disorder I'm sure have felt angry for no reason, depressed for no reason, and have absolutely no way to make it go away. It's just chemistry.

That's not to say we don't have control over any of our actions, but the effects of mood can be almost insurmountable. Think about how difficult it is to stop a habit even if all of your being is focused on overcoming it.

I've got to say I disagree. It's not chemistry at all, it's attitude.

There are days when I have felt depressed for no reason, but I do all I can to make the most of it. Since inspiration has yet to come to me when I am sad, I do something useful/practical. Like order my room or something (which is usually messed up). Or hell, if I can't be happy then I make those around me happy. Wash the dishes for your mother or something kind. It'll bring happiness you can't explain.

Sometimes I have my bitch fits just because I feel like it. But that's it - I take it out, and never store it, it's unhealthy and bad.

The longer I'm alive, the more I realize how little control we have over our moods and actions.

Here's a way you probably haven't seen in a while. Who wakes up every day? Who chooses to brush your teeth/take a shower? Who chooses your choices of foods? Who chooses how you spend your money and on what? Who chooses your college major? Who chooses what you read, where to go, who to talk to, etc.?

Let's say I brush my teeth, but don't take a shower. I wanna hit on this girl so bad, my life seems monotonous, she seems different. But first I gotta eat a big mac, oh yeah those sure make me feel good. God-damn college though. I knew I should've never gone into Business and Adminstration. Bah, tonight's party should make up for it. Beer + girls = can't go wrong. And my friend Joe, he'll hook my up with some sweet shit tonight.

See what I did thar? Hypothetical guy can't control his mood or emotions because he is depressed, has low self-esteem, and is addicted to something that temporarily makes him happy. He's lost it and there's no solution - because he lost all sense of control. There are reasons why some people can't control their emotions. Not having control combined with subtle failure is one that many don't seem to realize.

And on controlling habits, it is difficult to stop them. Especially if you drink to stop being angry, or shit like that. What to do? Take it gradually, drink slowly and slowly less and less, at the pace that is right for you.

 

[Raziaar]

Sorry, I didn't know you felt like that.

Is it like, for example, you wake up, barely eat and are already full, try to do things but only mechanically since you aren't really feeling it or are feeling something much worse?

You try to say, write for example, but it feels like you're writing the same thing over and over again, or what you wrote before sucks hard, so then you quit?

You barely have energy throughout the day, so you start watching tv but even that feels like a heavy burden because it's either so fake, too much like you, too different from you, or you're not even watching the tv?

It's even less logical than that. I can't even really pinpoint exactly why, and I wish I could.

I just find myself saying, "Okay, let's play a game." And so I start up a game, for example recently I have started up with Crysis. I find myself admiring how beautiful it is, even if a bit sluggish on my computer with no noticable difference in framerate from low to high settings. Ten minutes in, I find myself unable to continue and I quit.

It's not because I'm bored. Or because I have something better to do. I quit the game and end up sort of mindlessly surfing the internet, which is almost one of the only things I can really stick to reliably, for whatever reason. It's like second nature to me.

Same goes with other games. Mass Effect which we bought when it came out. Played it briefly, haven't touched it since. Not because I was bored or didn't like it. Same with episode 1 and episode 2, which I bought as well. Team Fortress 2? God I love that game. When I played it, it was the only game I played and I played it religiously for a good long while. Previous to that, I was in the same funk I am now. It was one of those games that brought me out and I just played it as if nothing was wrong and for some reason I didn't let it go.

I did let it go though. I haven't logged into Team Fortress 2 for... <checks steam> Well actually it doesn't tell me. But it has been weeks and weeks and weeks. My steam play time reveals I have 0 play hours in the last 2 weeks on all games. Heh.

I really do need to start up with TF2 again, I just can't bring myself to. It's not because I don't want to, it's that mental block preventing me from doing it... or even if I do it, I stop for no logical reason.

It's entirely frustrating and a seemingly endless cycle that I blame my undiagnosed depression on.

 

[Krynn72]

I do that too. Ive played STALKER 3 times in the past 48 hours, and it probably amounts to less than an hour of playtime. I also start up Mount & Blade once in awhile, get into two or three battles, and then quit.

 

[The Monkey]

I'm pretty exited. I'm going to New Zealand and Australia in 10 days where I will stay for three months. After that I'm going to move to Gothenburg with a friend where I will start at the university. New people, new places. A real startover.

I've never felt as optimistic about the future that I do now. We live in a great world, inhabited by great people.

 

[Raziaar]

I do that too. Ive played STALKER 3 times in the past 48 hours, and it probably amounts to less than an hour of playtime. I also start up Mount & Blade once in awhile, get into two or three battles, and then quit.

I'm sure you actually quit them and then move on to something that actually does end up occupying your time though(other than finding yourself doing nothing but sitting here on the forums or idly browsing the web).

 

[Phobie]

I've never felt as optimistic about the future that I do now. We live in a great world, inhabited by great people.

I love it when I meet someone who makes me feel this way. It's rare but it happens. Oh world, sometimes you're lovely!

 

[Krynn72]

I'm sure you actually quit them and then move on to something that actually does end up occupying your time though(other than finding yourself doing nothing but sitting here on the forums or idly browsing the web).

Nope. I either come to hl2.net and hit refresh until someone makes a new post, or go to 4chan. Once in awhile I'll open up Maya and rotate around one of my models, and then close that and go back to the internet.