Ever paid for a prostitute's services?

[Krynn72]

This is something I've been wondering for awhile. Ever since my friend accidentally picked up a hooker (funny story, maybe i'll tell you later). Theres also a thread in politics about legalizing it, so I figured I'd make a thread. So vote.

 

[Sheepo]

Does Shamrock count?

 

[Krynn72]

If you paid for it then yes.

 

[mchammer75040]

Yes, your mother was a reliable investment. ZING.

 

[kupocake]

I've paid for cake, but not syphilis.

 

[TimoJay]

I once walked down the wrong street in Osaka...

 

[Ravioli]

nope, but theres a girl in school who has friendzoned me but we are currently discussing a possbility of us having sex if i pay her. I told her that i would commit suicide if i dont loose my virginity before graduation, so now she feels obligated.

 

[Warped]

No man should ever pay a woman for sex. unless that man has no arms or legs and he is both blind and mute...but even then he could be having sex with anything and not even know who or what it was

 

[Kula Meenur]

^what?



edit: That was at Rav

 

[Sheepo]

If you can seem believable enough with the suicide act she probably wouldn't even demand payment.

Edit: To Ravioli

 

[mchammer75040]

nope, but theres a girl in school who has friendzoned me but we are currently discussing a possbility of us having sex if i pay her. I told her that i would commit suicide if i dont loose my virginity before graduation, so now she feels obligated.

WHAT. Slip something into her drink don't humilate yourself, unless you are into that.

 

[Geogaddi]

pay her whit rape dollars

 

[Mellish]

Who voted yes?

 

[Geogaddi]

All women are prostitutes. Either you pay them in cash or your pay them in expensive gifts and chocolates, right guys?

Or love and respect! Ah? Am I right or what?

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Love and respect for a woman? Hah! Preposterous, my good man.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

You already have a 1999 Chevy Cavalier 2-Door Coupe in a shade of red that puts most fire engines to shame. But an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device? You certainly want one of those, and it's clear that I don't love you because I won't make you one.

Right, are we going to actually post in this thread or just laugh at ourselves, toaster-MAN? I had sex with toaster (who is a prostitute) but I never paid her so I ran off to Paraguay to avoid the bills. I'm pretty sure my parent's house has been repossessed.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Hey, did you hear they're making a sequel to Monster House? It got repossessed.

 

[Hazard.Squared]

nope, but theres a girl in school who has friendzoned me but we are currently discussing a possbility of us having sex if i pay her. I told her that i would commit suicide if i dont loose my virginity before graduation, so now she feels obligated.

I predict a Juno, pretty soon Rav is gonna have an illegitamate child.

 

[Sulkdodds]

I feel this 'paying in bad jokes' arrangement to be most satisfactory.

 

[Absinthe]

No, but if the price was right...

 

[Warped]

I would pay at least $40 for just 10 mins with her

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Something changed before my eyes, but it's okay. I'll let you off. You always make your payments on time, unlike Farrow. He's a real dick for running out.


A big dick.

Well maybe if you gave me a contract like Sulk's and let me pay in something reasonable like bad jokes, then I wouldn't have run off to Paraguay. But love? Come on, I can't pay you with what doesn't exist.

 

[MJ12]

I once paid a woman not-to have sex with me.

 

[Raziaar]

Nope never. Still 100% virgin. And I'll rather keep it that way.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Nope never. Still 100% virgin. And I'll rather keep it that way.

I get the sense that you didn't really think out your wording there.

Edit: toaster I would appreciate it if you would please stop posting things that I am about to say.

 

[highlander]

Neeeeeeeein.

 

[MJ12]

I get the sense that you are all JUDGING RAZIAAR on your own ideas of what one wants in life!

Maybe some people don't want to have sex and would rather learn how to do things like carve stone, plant apple seeds, and possibly even fly.

All of you are jerks.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Even so, sex is...I mean, it's pretty good. I'm sure none of us would hesitate in recommending it.

I get the sense that you didn't really think out your wording there.

I'm 50% virgin. It's in one ear, but never the other.

 

[Raziaar]

Are you entirely sure about what you just said?

I get the sense that you didn't really think out your wording there.

Edit: toaster I would appreciate it if you would please stop posting things that I am about to say.

Yes, I know what I said.

I said it that way intentionally you fools!

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I get the sense that you are all JUDGING RAZIAAR on your own ideas of what one wants in life!

Maybe some people don't want to have sex and would rather learn how to do things like carve stone, plant apple seeds, and possibly even fly.

All of you are jerks.

I'd certainly like to plant my apple seeds
in a vagina

Love? What is love, baby?
Don't hurt me.
No more.

I do not need your love. I only need your large, well formed penis.

You are editing your posts, you fiendish woman. While my penis is large and well-formed indeed, claiming that it is all you need does not fit into our established canon, in which I have moved to Paraguay in an attempt to evade my debts to you. These debts have arisen from putting my penis inside of your vagina, which is the very payment if your post is to be believed.

But what a silly thought! Is a woman to be believed? Of course not, gentlemen. Carry on.

 

[Warped]

anyone ever have a girlfriend who was paid for services before?? (raises hand)

it was a long time ago, but she was so damn hot i couldn't resist her body. btw, she was paid long before i even knew her, and after i found out the info i dumped her because it disgusted me

 

[Sulkdodds]

But what a silly thought! Is a woman to be believed? Of course not, gentlemen. Carry on.

You may well ask how it can be that you paid Toaster off and yet are still in debt to her, but I point out to you the vast and irredeemably complex array of torturous financial 'instruments' that have lately caused mankind so much trouble.

it was a long time ago, but she was so damn hot i couldn't resist her body. btw, she was paid long before i even knew her, and after i found out the info i dumped her because it disgusted me

If you're who I think you are, I must ask you to stop using my good friend Ryan as a go-between, or as a blank slate onto which to ceaselessly unload your problems. He is too great a person to complain to you about the burden, and has always borne it manfully, but it is taxing his very soul.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Certainly you would have noticed that my 'currency' was once again rising soon afterwards, however.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Oh, fie, Toaster. This constant rise and fall is a feature of all such systems, and one that we must learn to live with. It's perfectly natural and only to be expected.

 

[MJ12]

Really hot-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH5KnOoAfKc


I don't understand how you make "500 dollars a day" and have to eat corn outside in the park like a hobo? Does a large sum go to their pimp?

 

[Jintor]

Oh, fie, Toaster. This constant rise and fall is a feature of all such systems, and one that we must learn to live with. It's perfectly natural and only to be expected.

It's not supposed to veer up and down at such speeds, Sulk.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Oh, and I suppose you would recommend a stimulus package?

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I'd just like to state upfront that I have no objections to a stimulus package

 

[Vegeta897]

I once walked down the wrong street in Osaka...

Yes yes?

 

[swan_song1973]

never have, never will.