"F*ck terrorists, we have to watch out for emo kids with firearms"--Samuel L. Jackson

[DigiQ8]

I was watching CNN when the news broke about the mall shootings in Omaha. My first thought was, ?Oh shit, them terrorists finally decided to make Homeland Security happy,? but as we know now, it ain?t terrorists we need to be afraid of. It?s standard-issue emo kids with firearm access.

This kid, Robert Hawkins, was a sorry-ass mother****ing excuse for a mass murderer. He killed only eight people before he offed himself?now what kind of a weak PG-13 body count is that? I walk into a crowded mall I ain?t coming out alive from, and you can bet your pimpled ass I?m taking out at least twice that. It ain?t worth my time unless I get NC-17. Might as well curl myself up in front of the TV and watch some ?I Love Lucy? reruns.

And mother****er killed himself after getting fired from McDonald?s? Holy shit, you stupid-ass mother****er, the time to kill yourself is when you get hired at McDonald?s. If you get fired from Mickey D?s, you best consider yourself a got-damn prodigy; it takes some mad skills to get fired from a place that?ll even hire retards.

Oh, and he had also just gotten his ass dumped by a bitch. Ain?t that about as ****ing cliche as you can get? Fired from work, dumped by a chick, high school drop-out, living with a friend?s parents?. Of course this mother****er was gonna shoot up a mall?he?d dropped out of high school and he wasn?t in college, so where else was he gonna go to drop a few bodies?

Next time some kid takes it into their fool head to blow away a bunch of strangers, it better be in ****ing Times Square or some shit.

And another thing. Take a better got-damn picture. Look badass, you stupid ****, not mildly perplexed. Shit.

Link


rofl

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Wow. Fucking epic.

 

[Jintor]

Rofl, epic.

 

[Kyorisu]

It has been a rule of mine that if I'm going down I'm taking a few hundred people with me. Damn wannabe mass murderers fail on too many occasions. You need to know how to control the situation and effectivly kill as many people as possible. Knowing myself I'd endevour to rig up some elabourate explosive device in the back of a semi. Roll that mother****er into the middle of town and kaboom.

 

[nurizeko]

If I was gonna go out in a bang, I would wanna try and do it in a 24 style nuclear bomb in a downtown abandoned warehouse while chiseled good looking protagonist runs around head butting the weak with his awesomeness trying to stop me. Except in my case the bomb goes off making sure George Cloony the ass that he is (god so annoying in that movie...) is only a few metres away from me as I look up at him and flip the switch, then whiteness, and silence...cut to credits.


In all seriousness though, if your a big enough douche to go shoot up a mall because your a loser, thats just sad. I;ve been a loser most of my life, can you name anything that happened to that kid that honestly has never happened to anyone else?.

Oh knoez, I had a falling out with my parents, instead of trying to resolve it I'll just go emo, oh no, fired from a crap job, god forbid it presents an opportunity to improve my career prospects, AW SNAP! some bitch dumped me!, thats totally never happened to ANYONE ever before.

I've been through more jobs then this punk has had hot meals.


The dude was just broken in the head TBH. Theres homeless people who have to sit out in the cold pissing wet rain in winter huddled in dirty clothes and blankets with their scruffy mongrel dog, and they can still managed a smile, and still show empathy.

I have no sympathy for pathetic shits like the above mentioned loser. Boohoo you had it a little bit rough, ****ing drama queen.

 

[Deleted member 56031]

Epic stuff!

 

[<RJMC>]

I thought it was real

 

[Azner]

Isnt it?

Oh wait.

Well i guess it is

awesome?

 

[-Psy-]

E.p.i.c

 

[2real]

source is broken linkage fix plox k thx


0.o

 

[kirovman]

If you die whilst slaughtering innocents, you want to go down whilst smoking a cigar and holding a gattling gun going full spin, laughing.

 

[Saturos]

If I was gonna go out in a bang, I would wanna try and do it in a 24 style nuclear bomb in a downtown abandoned warehouse while chiseled good looking protagonist runs around head butting the weak with his awesomeness trying to stop me. Except in my case the bomb goes off making sure George Cloony the ass that he is (god so annoying in that movie...) is only a few metres away from me as I look up at him and flip the switch, then whiteness, and silence...cut to credits.


In all seriousness though, if your a big enough douche to go shoot up a mall because your a loser, thats just sad. I;ve been a loser most of my life, can you name anything that happened to that kid that honestly has never happened to anyone else?.

Oh knoez, I had a falling out with my parents, instead of trying to resolve it I'll just go emo, oh no, fired from a crap job, god forbid it presents an opportunity to improve my career prospects, AW SNAP! some bitch dumped me!, thats totally never happened to ANYONE ever before.

I've been through more jobs then this punk has had hot meals.


The dude was just broken in the head TBH. Theres homeless people who have to sit out in the cold pissing wet rain in winter huddled in dirty clothes and blankets with their scruffy mongrel dog, and they can still managed a smile, and still show empathy.

I have no sympathy for pathetic shits like the above mentioned loser. Boohoo you had it a little bit rough, ****ing drama queen.

Very good point. Emo kids are retarded.:E

 

[Seppo]

yeah very good point...I'm a loser too but have never thought of shooting up a mall or school. what the **** is the point? that idiot was just a sad loser, giving all losers a bad name.

 

[Druckles]

yeah very good point...I'm a loser too but have never thought of shooting up a mall or school. what the **** is the point? that idiot was just a sad loser, giving all losers a bad name.

Just can't get the losers, nowadays.

 

[Barnz]

He looks like junior John Carmack.

 

[Saturos]

He looks like junior John Carmack.

LOL! do you have any picture comparisons for John Carmack?

 

[Dan]

hmm.. do you think you would get more if you started carefully Washington sniper style, or if you went out with a flash, Columbine style?

 

[Beerdude26]

If you die whilst slaughtering innocents, you want to go down whilst smoking a cigar and holding a gattling gun going full spin, laughing.

Haha I am so thinking of Sarge from Quake 3 now

 

[Barnz]

LOL! do you have any picture comparisons for John Carmack?

Long lost twins.

 

[Dan]

With a little colour correction, the similarities are striking

 

[Druckles]

With a little colour correction, the similarities are striking

Maybe because they have the same mouth

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

THE ****ing MAN.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Oh god i love samuel l jackson


epic negro win