Female problems

f0rked

f0rked

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I know this is the last place to be asking for serious advice on this sort of issue, hell, I think that every time I see a question like this on these boards, but the situation I'm in right now is kinda complicated.

See, I've been at university for a few weeks now, and have all but severed contact with people I knew before I came. I've got a good social circle of friends though, a pretty tight-knit group. However, this is where the problem begins. The girl I'm seeing right now is part of this social group, and she's asked me to keep our relationship quiet, because she doesn't want to 'disturb our group of friends'. I respect her wishes, which is why I'm not going to a real life friend with this issue. I know if I did then the 'secret' would get out and come back to bite me in the ass no matter what I do from this point on.

Anyway, now to the problem. I really like this girl, but I don't know/can't tell if she likes me as much. She says she does, but she seems to have a problem opening up to people. She never, ever likes showing affection in public, even in a deserted place where no-one would ever possibly see. She also seems to have a few guy friends that I've never heard of/met before. Basically, I'm wondering what I should do. This might sound 'gay', but I'm looking for someone to have deep and meaningful conversations with, which is kind of hard if she wont ever tell me whats on her mind. A typical conversation would go as follows:

*she is looking off into space, looking almost sad*
Me: "What's up?"
Her: "Nothing, just thinking.."
Me: "About what?"
Her: "Oh... Nothing.."
*she stares off into space and the whole situation repeats itself.*

I'm thinking about quitting while I'm ahead to avoid getting hurt by some sort of revelation that she's actually with another guy, or that she can never share her feelings about anything, or something like that. Anyone care to offer any advice? Hell, even a sarcastic comment or two would be good for lifting my spirits.

Sorry for the long winded post, I'm not exactly sober at the moment.

OT: Is it just my university internet that's loading up hl2.net slow as hell, or is it the imminent release of DOD:S that's got all the source junkies checking every second and using up all the bandwidth?
 
Well... first off...

Put your arm around her. If she likes you, she would like that, even if she doesn't react.

If shes staring out into space, and your in private, put your arm around her or hug her or something.

What may be the problem is that she is afraid YOU dont like her.
 
Well, she isn't open, so try to get her to be open.
Don't do this harshly, just a soft lil' nudge (Not literally) every now and then.
 
Need to converse in something she is interested in.
 
I started calling my Girlffreind a bitch, playfully though :P

(Even though she really IS a bitch :P)

Shes more playful and generally nicer this way, its like she wants me to insult her in a playful manner.

Point is find something she likes and do it or something like that and yes im stoned :|

Disreguard The above post, and this, but not this, dont disreguard this, above this, and this but not this ok.
 
Haha, I thought this was going to be about periods or some other "female problem"

Seriously though, my girlfriend at first had a weird thing about public signs of affection, so I just respected her wishes, we've been together three years now. When you're alone, try to have a lot of contact, see how she responds. Hold her hand, put your arm around her, kiss her cheek; whatever. If she's serious, she'll come around, if not, then enjoy it while you can. Don't break up with her to save yourself the pain until you know for a fact she doesn't want anything serious.
Bah, women.

You type remarkably well for being drunk. I'm the exact opposite.
 
Well garfield... This girl sounds very shallow. It sounds like she is embarassed about you. Is her company really worth your time or dignity? Probably not, now I may have gotten it wrong, does she have a problem with displays of affection, or your relationship, in public?
 
yea, a lot of girls like to be treated like 'one of the guys.' I know mine does, they want to be like your best guy friend, who you make out with and buy dinner. But that's one of those things that happens naturally once a relationship gets started, so don't go after her calling her a bitch and stuff.

If she's unresponsive yea, that means make the first move. Judge how she reacts, just try and pull a reaction out of her (in as good a way as possible). But you need to find out if she really likes you or not. Rent a movie and stay home, take her to the lake or maybe a spot that overlooks the city, make her dinner. Not necessarily romantic, but just a place you two could sit and be alone.
 
I wouldn't worry about the guy friends, they might not even be in the same country. With the affection thing, I was like that with all of my boyfriends, it was never the person, just the fact that I cant stand being touched..hugged..yadda. But it might not be that, she might just be very private. Does she she seem depressed, maybe she has a problem.

A friend of mine who's over just gave some good advice: i think that he needs to try and just reinforce that he is there for her no matter what - that way, in due time, she may feel that she can trust him enough to tell him about her issues.

This is assuming she may have some issues.
 
It really depends on how attracted you are to this girl. Is public affection important to you? Ask yourself that, also, how long will you go through a relationship where the other person doesn't trust you enough to tell you what is on their mind. Think carefully about how much you are willing to do inorder to get this girl to be in a relationship with you.

I think the question you have to ask yourself is, is she worth it? If she is, well then, you don't need us to tell you what to do. I think you already know.
 
Bah. You lazy internet bastards need to learn how to spell!
 
Maybe shes cheating on you and wants to keep it private so her other boyfriends don't find out!

secks her while you can and prepare for the hit.
 
i agree with dient.. when a girl doesnt want to show off the fact they have a man, its usually coz they already have one. and want more.. MORE!!!
 
Did anyone say ... GARFIELD!? LOLZ!!11ONE

anywho, sounds a bit fishy and meany while also being a bit cold or stale depending on your bread preferences.

...Where is garfield these days?
 
When I read the thread title, I instantly thought you were a little girl going through puberty. I read the content, and was shocked that I was wrong.

-Angry Lawyer
 
I'm telling you from experience. She's got a dick.
 
OvA said:
I'm telling you from experience. She's got a dick.
Click to expand...
No....NO......NO! BAD! BAAAAAAD!! Dick is such a filthy, horrible word!! Say cock instead!!
Or more appropriately penis!

Angry Lawyer, I felt the same way.Hmmm........Wonderz.
Re-enactment of how a convo. about periods would have went.

'Hey I have a period."

*Everyone in unison* "LIKEZ OMFGZ LOL LMFAO ROFL TEH PERIODZ LOL ROFL!"

And yes I happen to have had 2 12 packs of Budweisers with my buddies and typed this shortly asgyfgfter...........:cheers: :thumbs: :monkee:
 
Puzzlemaker said:
Well... first off...

Put your arm around her. If she likes you, she would like that, even if she doesn't react.

If shes staring out into space, and your in private, put your arm around her or hug her or something.

What may be the problem is that she is afraid YOU dont like her.
Click to expand...

Yah, uh huh, you'd get slapped by a girl if you became her friend and just did that out of nowhere. Girls are antsy about guys just being immediate touchy-feely, you have to worm your way in. Except don't be wormy, be courteous.

More like a few pats on the back and hand on shoulder. Be a little more physically relaxed and see if she starts to do the same. It's what I did with my, uh, "friend" (more like very close personal friend who I love) and she is physically relaxed around me.

Some girls have problems with trust, and you need to earn it by being sweet and compassionate. So try that.

And why is it 'gay' to enjoy deep and meaningful conversations? Hell, I am bringing my friend to a coffee shop for her birthday for like 4-5 hours just to sit outside and talk. Girls love conversations, especially if you ACTUALLY LISTEN and are interested. Then again, not all girls are the same... some like spending time talking and others don't. It's also a great way to break the ice, just start talking about yourself and asking them questions. You'd be surprised how many girls just like to play the question game, "What's your favorite color?" "Who do you admire the most?" "What's your favorite food?" As it progresses other topics of interest pick up.
 
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