Funny Article Turns Out To Be Future

[No Limit]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

This was published in January of 2001. Can you name how much of it is true?

 

[kirovman]

A funny article for a funny guy... :|

Quite scary stuff.

 

[Mechagodzilla]

Continued Bush: "John Ashcroft will be invaluable in healing the terrible wedge President Clinton drove between church and state."

Yikes.

 

[gick]

The Guardian did an article about ten years ago, when they tried to guess what the world would be like today. They got a lot right, including 'George Bush (Jr) Invades Iraq' and 'Arnold Schwarzenegger Becomes Governor of California'

 

[kirovman]

Maybe George Bush previously read these articles, believing them to be his horoscope rather than political sattire? :O

"What star sign am I? Onion? Lemme check..."

 

[Glirk Dient]

Hahaha, that's a good one Kirov. Props to you.

 

[Direwolf]

I think this just proves how awesome the Onion is more than anything else.

 

[DEATH eVADER]

All hail the Onion!
All hail the Onion!
All hail the Onion!