NSPIRE
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This was originally made by the people at Zug.com...
After that, the RIAA dude hung up, lmao. Visit here for more.
But the RIAA's contact information is just buried. Now, they've been fighting vigorously to uncover file-swappers' addresses and phone numbers, developing tracking codes that can be embedded within MP3 files. And yet, they have an unlisted phone number. Paging Dr. Irony. There is a phone call for Dr. Irony.
It took hours of searching before I finally found a phone number and was able to get through to someone. I spoke with a young, mild-mannered executive who patiently answered my questions, which I delivered in my best "dumb guy" voice.
JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?
RIAA: Hold on just a sec.
[There was a hold of about two minutes. I was desperately afraid they were tracing my call, and that Agent Smith would come smashing through my door at any moment, wielding the severed arm of Jimmy Carter. But I courageously waited it out.]
RIAA: Sir?
JH: Yes.
RIAA: The best advice I can offer you at this moment is to go to dub-dub-dub-musicunited.org and you can learn there how to uninstall your peer-to-peer software or file-sharing service.
JH: But I don't have a pee service. Someone just e-mailed me a song and I listened to it. Am I going to jail?
RIAA: Sir, I don't know. I'm not in a position to offer you legal advice on this.
JH: Legal advice? Do I need to get a lawyer?
RIAA: You might want to. As I said, your best possible route is to go to musicunited.org. Beyond that, I'm not in a position to offer you additional legal advice.
JH: Can I write a check to someone?
RIAA: Has your service provider told you that you've been subpoenaed?
JH: A penis?
RIAA: [Long pause] What?
JH: You asked if my service provider told me I have a penis?
RIAA: Have you been issued a subpoena?
JH: I just listened to it in my e-mail, is all!
RIAA: Sir, I can't give you any specific legal advice to assist you in your situation.
JH: My girlfriend listened to the song too. Is she going to jail? I'm really scared.
RIAA: I can't give you any specific advice beyond what I've said.
JH: How much do these songs cost? Can I just mail a check to you guys? I really don't want to go back to prison.
RIAA: Sir. I cannot have these conversations. You should consult a lawyer if you think you might be at risk.
JH: But I can't afford a lawyer! They're too expensive!
RIAA: What I can tell you is to visit musicunited.org, which will tell you ways to reduce the likelihood that you will be a target.
JH: A TARGET?! A target of who? Terrorists?!
RIAA: A target of legal action.
JH: You guys ARE going to sue me! I knew it! I never should have downloaded Beethoven's Ninth Symphony! Oh, NO!!!
RIAA: That's the best I can do for you.
After that, the RIAA dude hung up, lmao. Visit here for more.