Funny-ass RIAA Prank-Call...

NSPIRE

Newbie
Joined
Oct 3, 2003
Messages
1,456
Reaction score
0
This was originally made by the people at Zug.com...

But the RIAA's contact information is just buried. Now, they've been fighting vigorously to uncover file-swappers' addresses and phone numbers, developing tracking codes that can be embedded within MP3 files. And yet, they have an unlisted phone number. Paging Dr. Irony. There is a phone call for Dr. Irony.

It took hours of searching before I finally found a phone number and was able to get through to someone. I spoke with a young, mild-mannered executive who patiently answered my questions, which I delivered in my best "dumb guy" voice.



JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?

RIAA: Hold on just a sec.

[There was a hold of about two minutes. I was desperately afraid they were tracing my call, and that Agent Smith would come smashing through my door at any moment, wielding the severed arm of Jimmy Carter. But I courageously waited it out.]

RIAA: Sir?

JH: Yes.

RIAA: The best advice I can offer you at this moment is to go to dub-dub-dub-musicunited.org and you can learn there how to uninstall your peer-to-peer software or file-sharing service.

JH: But I don't have a pee service. Someone just e-mailed me a song and I listened to it. Am I going to jail?

RIAA: Sir, I don't know. I'm not in a position to offer you legal advice on this.

JH: Legal advice? Do I need to get a lawyer?

RIAA: You might want to. As I said, your best possible route is to go to musicunited.org. Beyond that, I'm not in a position to offer you additional legal advice.

JH: Can I write a check to someone?

RIAA: Has your service provider told you that you've been subpoenaed?

JH: A penis?

RIAA: [Long pause] What?

JH: You asked if my service provider told me I have a penis?

RIAA: Have you been issued a subpoena?

JH: I just listened to it in my e-mail, is all!

RIAA: Sir, I can't give you any specific legal advice to assist you in your situation.

JH: My girlfriend listened to the song too. Is she going to jail? I'm really scared.

RIAA: I can't give you any specific advice beyond what I've said.

JH: How much do these songs cost? Can I just mail a check to you guys? I really don't want to go back to prison.

RIAA: Sir. I cannot have these conversations. You should consult a lawyer if you think you might be at risk.

JH: But I can't afford a lawyer! They're too expensive!

RIAA: What I can tell you is to visit musicunited.org, which will tell you ways to reduce the likelihood that you will be a target.

JH: A TARGET?! A target of who? Terrorists?!

RIAA: A target of legal action.

JH: You guys ARE going to sue me! I knew it! I never should have downloaded Beethoven's Ninth Symphony! Oh, NO!!!

RIAA: That's the best I can do for you.

After that, the RIAA dude hung up, lmao. Visit here for more.
 
LMAO. Agreed Terminator :p.

Here's another funny call made to Apple's iTunes company / HQ...

It struck me that Steve's quote was the first intelligent thing anyone has said in the file-sharing debate, so I thought I'd give Apple's new iTunes service a try. iTunes is, of course, a Napster-like file-sharing program that lets you legally buy most popular songs for just 99 cents apiece. The service has been enormously successful, selling 5 million singles in its first two months of business.

I found out, however, that iTunes only works on Apple computers, as you'll see in the following prank call to iTunes technical support.


APPLE: Hi, thanks for calling Apple. My name is Abraham. Do you have your serial number handy?

JH: No.

APPLE: Okay, I can help you find it. Is your computer up and running now?

JH: Yes.

APPLE: What color is the apple in the top left corner? Is it blue?

JH: I don't see an apple.

APPLE: In the top-left corner, the apple? Is it blue, or multi-colored?

JH: Right, there's no apple.

APPLE: In the very top-left corner?

JH: I know which corner is the top-left. There's no apple there.

APPLE: What do you see?

JH: I see a piece of paper with an E.

APPLE: Which screen are you looking at?

JH: My computer screen.

APPLE: No, I mean, what does your screen say?

JH: It says "Larger Balls and Penis, More Satisfaction."

APPLE: I'm sorry?

JH: I think I'm in e-mail. I keep getting these dirty ads in my Windows e-mail. Do you know how to turn them off?

APPLE: What kind of computer is this? Do you have an Apple?

JH: No, it's an IBM.

APPLE: You're calling for support on an IBM?

JH: No, I'm trying to get iTunes to play on my IBM.

APPLE: Oh, I see--

JH: I am trying to buy music online so I do not have to steal it illegally. I went to your iTunes site and downloaded the software, but my computer won't play it.

APPLE: Yeah, you're right, it won't. You need -- just a minute here -- I'm pretty sure you can't download iTunes music and play it on a PC. Let's see here. [pause] You could use MusicMatch Jukebox software, but you'd need an iPod in order to use it.

JH: Can I buy music through MusicMash?

APPLE: I'm pretty sure you can't. Let me take a look here. [pause] No, it's showing here that you cannot. You have to have an Apple. Let's see here -- bear with me here. [pause] Okay, so what you're going to need is a Mac computer running Mac OS X; otherwise, you won't be able to access iTunes Music Store.

JH: How do I buy music online, then?

APPLE: You'd have to go somewhere else other than iTunes Music Store. There's other places you can buy music -- I think buymusic.com is one of them. You'll just have to pull up a search engine and find them that way.

JH: You can't mail me a song on a floppy disk?

APPLE: Not through iTunes Music Store. You have to access it through iTunes. We can't do that for you.

JH: Why don't you guys support PCs?

APPLE: Because we're Apple.

JH: ...

APPLE: We do in some other ways, like if you have an iPod, we'd give you software to use it, but with our applications, we support our applications on our computers.

JH: Should I just start up Kazaa and steal my music?

APPLE: No, I can't say you should do that, but I'm saying iTunes Music Store isn't the only place you can buy songs.

JH: I was reading your website, and it said "shop till you bop." I really just want to, uh, shop till I bop. You're saying I can't shop till I bop?

APPLE: No, you can't. Because you have a PC.

JH: So there will be no bopping without an Apple.

APPLE: That's right, sir.

JH: Isn't it more expensive to buy an Apple than just buying the CD?

APPLE: Like I said again, there are places out there where you can download music on a Windows machine, same thing as iTunes, but for the PC. Not sure if it's exactly the same, but it's similar.

JH: I really want to shop til I bop.

APPLE: I'll be happy to sell you an Apple.

JH: I don't want an Apple. They're too heavy.

APPLE: We have some light ones too, like an iBook.

JH: I heard that iBooks can only be used in Starbucks.

APPLE: Well, in that case, I'm not sure what to say, but that's about all I can do for you. Okay?

JH: Could you hum the songs to me?

APPLE: NO.

HAHAHA! :p
 
LMAO. That part was f*ckin' hillarious.

blah blah blah... subpoena'd...

I've been sub penis'd?!?! O_o

Lol.
 
Haha, yeh. In one of the other RIAA prank pages on the site, he offers to pay them with a check or something... then the dude says no, so he offers his 'sand art' collection that he made. LMFAO!
 
OMG, Have you heard the RIAA mp3?

omg he plays a song for them, haaha.

edit: omg he's actually singing it.

great song :D
 
Yeah nw, I listened to it, lmao. The whole site's full of funny-ass pranks.
 
Although my grandmother has about 300GB of warez, hackz, crackz, cheatz, pr0n, and MP3s stored away on her nitrogen-cooled dual-RAID systems, she is no thief. She's simply keeping them for a friend.

omg HAHHAHAHH!
 
LMFAO. I didn't see that one.

Until that night, when I took a trip to the bathroom to meet the baker. Friends, the creature that emerged from my insides was borne in the pits of Hell and reared in the suburbs of Detroit. This foul monster was so excruciatingly wet and smelly that my eyebrows singed, paint peeled from the walls, and the mirror steamed up. I quickly flushed the toilet, but the beast did not budge. Water began to fill up the basin, and I grabbed the plunger and beat the demon down the toilet. After much struggle and another full flush, the minion was defeated, sent back to the steaming caverns of Hades.
 
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Until that night, when I took a trip to the bathroom to meet the baker. Friends, the creature that emerged from my insides was borne in the pits of Hell and reared in the suburbs of Detroit. This foul monster was so excruciatingly wet and smelly that my eyebrows singed, paint peeled from the walls, and the mirror steamed up. I quickly flushed the toilet, but the beast did not budge. Water began to fill up the basin, and I grabbed the plunger and beat the demon down the toilet. After much struggle and another full flush, the minion was defeated, sent back to the steaming caverns of Hades.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


lmao sounds like a usual night at my house...seriously something is keeping my toliet from flushing at times...
 
KEKEKEKE hit it to random people answering phones that in no way represent the corporation they work for!!! SHOW THEM WHAT YOU THINK ARRRRGGGH!!!
 
Can some one gimme a direct link to those pranks, because I can't see shit where to download them from.
 
Originally posted by Loshadka
Can some one gimme a direct link to those pranks, because I can't see shit where to download them from.

What are you trying to download? All the topics they're talking about come from a website I posted in another thread. It's called Zug and can be found at http://www.zug.com.
 
Yeah Snakebyte, that one made me lol for a few minutes, hehe. :p Not too often that I actually lol (literally) at a web-site.
 
LOL!

I'm signing everything as "You're an Idiot" from now on.:E

EDIT: The "All-Natural" prank... he must have been farting bubbles!
 
Yeah... some of the things that he ate were kind of... umm, disturbing? O_o

That catfood looked f*ckin' nasty. I'd never eat that shit for free, lol.
 
Back
Top