Gender Communication Issues?

[Black Pete]

I need to interview a few people for my linguistics class, so I figured I turn here. It could also make for some interesting discussion. Anyways, does anyone have anecdotes to share about your personal experience in failing to communicate with your partner, or else just anyone of the opposite gender?

Here's an excerpt from Tannen's book on it:

Eve had a lump removed from her breast. Shortly after the operation, talking to her sister, she said that she found it upsetting to have been cut into, and that looking at the stitches was distressing because they left a seam that had changed the contour of her breast. Her sister said, "I know. When I had my operation I felt the same way." Eve made the same observation to her friend Karen, who said, "I know. It's like your body has been violated." But when she told her husband, Mark, how she felt, he said, "You can have plastic surgery to cover up the scar and restore the shape of your breast."

Eve had been comforted by her sister and her friend, but she was not comforted by Mark's comment. Quite the contrary, it upset her more. Not only didn't she hear what she wanted, that he understood her feelings, but, far worse, she felt he was asking her to undergo more surgery just when she was telling him how much this operation had upset her.

"I'm not having any more surgery!" she protested. "I'm sorry you don't like the way it looks." Mark was hurt and puzzled.

"I don't care," he protested. "It doesn't bother me at all."

She asked, "Then why are you telling me to have plastic surgery?"

He answered, "Because you were saying you were upset about the way it looked."

These sorts of problems are frequently found in the workplace, especially in the differences between how men and women give orders. It's interesting how gender communication problems arise from our culture, and aren't biologically based.

I'd be grateful for any help.

 

[Steven]

Yeah females seem to always view things in a differnt way or they just don't know what I'm talking about. Most females I know are stupid and always think I'm trying to come onto them or there ugly people who reckon there sexually arousing, this is just most of the females I know though.

 

[Glirk Dient]

Yeah females seem to always view things in a differnt way or they just don't know what I'm talking about. Most females I know are stupid and always think I'm trying to come onto them or there ugly people who reckon there sexually arousing, this is just most of the females I know though.

Probally because you are hitting on them, or at least trying to.

I generally don't have that kinda of problem, the above example is pretty rare and if you actually listen to what females are saying and understand the message behind it theres not much of a problem.

 

[Ikerous]

My friend was talking to this girl and told her that he had been in two accidents.
She interpreted this as I (me) had gotten 4 or 6 tickets.
(How, hell if i know.)

Same girl
I told her to read the thirteenth amendment

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

She interpreted section 2 as saying that congress can pass laws enforcing slavery.

 

[Glirk Dient]

She interpreted section 2 as saying that congress can pass laws enforcing slavery.

Thats a dumb mistake any idiot who can't put 2 + 2 together would make. Not a gender vs gender issue.

 

[Ikerous]

Thats a dumb mistake any idiot who can't put 2 + 2 together would make. Not a gender vs gender issue.

It was written by a man... and misinterpreted by a woman
Totally counts.
(I didnt actually intend to be helpful btw..)

 

[hungryduck]

It was written by a man... and misinterpreted by a woman
Totally counts.
(I didnt actually intend to be helpful btw..)

Hah! That's hilarious.

 

[Dekstar]

Communication issues are discussed in loads of books like Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus to name the most popular.

Not so much anecdotes, but you really have to be careful about what you say, to make sure they don't interpret it wrong the first time round. Doing it more than once, and not seeing a problem with what your saying when the other gender does doesn't bode particularily well.

 

[MiccyNarc]

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Which is why a military draft is illegal.
Girls are weird by the way.