GODDAMN RUSSIANS

[15357]

Ok, I couldn't find a translated version of the article, so here's the gist of it.

We lent Russia a load of money in the 90s, but they couldn't pay it back, what with economical collapse and all, so they instead paid us in the form of military equipment.

That included about 80 T-80U tanks, and et cetera. They also gave us 9000+ METIS-M Anti-tank guided missiles, and we've been using them as part of our defense strategy against the North Korean armored wave (NK tanks are huge in number, and despite their technological inferiority, lots and lots of tanks are not a good thing to face) since the early 2000s.

However, we've discovered recently that over 60% of them are faulty (they won't explode, be guided, etc.)

So, we suddenly have a gap in our defenses, and a very serious question to be answered - how the **** do our light infantry divisions take out enemy tanks in excess of 4000+? All they have left is 90mm Recoiless rifles that have been outdated, since, I dunno, before Vietnam? (Although they actually can take out the average NK tank)

So, we just got screwed, and now we have to find out where we can get 5000 anti-tank missiles to fill the gap untill 2013, when our own next-generation anti-tank missile is due for mass production.


God Damn Russians.

 

[morgs]

You know why they never payed it back?

You guys said "Don't worry, no russia"

 

[Vegeta897]

The Metis-M is ****ing awesome. I love using it in Arma 2. Especially because of the thermal sight.

 

[Raziaar]

What makes you think that North Korea has the infrastructure to keep all those tanks fueled and maintained? lol

Although I know nothing.

 

[Vegeta897]

What makes you think that North Korea has the infrastructure to keep all those tanks fueled and maintained? lol

Although I know nothing.

Yeah man I bet they haven't even built an oil refinery in every city.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Don't worry, their soldiers will be so malnourished you'll be able to take out a whole tank crew with a canteen and a knife.

 

[15357]

What makes you think that North Korea has the infrastructure to keep all those tanks fueled and maintained? lol

Although I know nothing.

Very good point, actually.

Don't worry, their soldiers will be so malnourished you'll be able to take out a whole tank crew with a canteen and a knife.

Ha. Reminds me of the so-called "hammer anti-tank" method that's written down in the Korean Army Field Manual.

Method 1

Step 1. Grab a large hammer (you know, those huge two-handed ones) and 2 grenades.

Step 2. Climb onto enemy tank

Step 3. Bash down on the hatch. This will cause the crew to open it to check.

Step 4. Bash down on the crewman's head. Throw in the grenades.

Step 5. Evacuate area.


Method 2.

Step 1. Charge into enemy tank

Step 2. Bash the optic sights, and barrel of the main gun and coaxial machine gun so that they are rendered useless.

Step 3. Bash the treads to render tank immobile.

Step 4. Evacuate area.

 

[Mr Stabby]

Helicopters>>tanks.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Helicopters>>tanks.

Civilization 4 says archers can beat helicopters.

 

[Remus]

However, we've discovered recently that over 60% of them are faulty (they won't explode, be guided, etc.).

Russian engineering... *chuckle*

 

[Vegeta897]

Civilization 4 says archers can beat helicopters.

So does Rise of Nations.

 

[Raziaar]

So does Rise of Nations.

No they can't. That's just system wear bringing the choppers down from killing so many ****ing archers and staying up in the air so long with such infrequent refueling.

 

[Krynn72]

I bet north korea can turn on each of those 4000+ tanks for a whole 8 seconds before they're completely out of fuel and bankrupt themselves. Besides, weren't you saying awhile ago that your tanks were vastly superior to the crap they have? Just have samsung make a few more and you're good to go.

 

[JUL3]

They also gave us 9000+ METIS-M Anti-tank guided missiles.

Korea's METIS-M Anti-tank guided missiles are over 9000.

Damn Russians.

 

[Mr. Djees]

You made a deal with Yeltsin, what did you guys expect?

 

[Raziaar]

I bet north korea can turn on each of those 4000+ tanks for a whole 8 seconds before they're completely out of fuel and bankrupt themselves. Besides, weren't you saying awhile ago that your tanks were vastly superior to the crap they have? Just have samsung make a few more and you're good to go.

Must be super weird having a company like Samsung making some of your military hardware.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

owned haha

surprised they didn't repay you in the form of assassinating all the debt collectors (or holding you hostage with nuclear missals)

 

[GreatEmperor]

Those tanks are probably cardboard, so all you need is a book of matches and MacGuyver. Who the hell takes North Korea seriously really? All they have is what the Chinese give them and that is mostly food aid, they even steal the trains they send it to them on. All they have is massive manpower and something tells me that their morale would fall apart met with a combined air/land assault. They would only do well on the offensive, and their resupply capabilities are a joke, but hey, if you want to convince yourself your northern brothers are as homogenous and organized as you think they are, I wont piss on your parade

 

[Robbo]

All you need is a sock, a grenade and some grease. Problem solved!!

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

Well they do have the 4th largest standing infantry army in the world (and 2nd largest reserve army), all of them willing to die for one man whom they believe is god - so that counts for something, right?

 

[GreatEmperor]

Well they do have the 4th largest standing infantry army in the world (and 2nd largest reserve army), all of them willing to die for one man whom they believe is god - so that counts for something, right?

You might be taking their image as too genuine, all that crap they show in Pyongyang is one big show, Pyongyang itself IS one big show. Just because their propaganda is entirely pervasive doesnt mean its entirely effective, the only real thing keeping people there is China and the minefield/military, they dont seem to think Kimmies going to smite them down nor do they think the rest of the world is that shitty

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

I'm not exactly alarmed, but I'm not exactly on their border either - and I don't envy that situation, regardless of how much whistle blowing goes on in South Korea.

 

[15357]

Must be super weird having a company like Samsung making some of your military hardware.

Nah, to Samsung, tanks are like huge versions of cell phones.



Anyway, I suppose we've been holding the line for the past half a century now, protecting the entire pacific region against the hordes of communists of the USSR, China, and North Korea. And all we have to show for it is 15% of our entire population in the military, either active or reserve. And more landmines than we have people.

But I suppose it's way better than 60 years ago, when we had more men than we had bullets, and the only thing that slowed the enemy's tanks down was the bodies of our infantrymen clogging up their treads.

What are we supposed to do anyway, against an enemy that is perceived to have unbreakable morale, almost zombie-like in their religious desire to see us dead? What can a couple of thousand of tanks do against an unstoppable relentless horde of communists that won't stop until everybody is dead dead dead? The Chinese worry me also. What happens if they invade us along with our heretical northern brethren? Will we be able to stop them? Sure, we'll fight with the unwavering belief that "it is better for a million men to die in the front than to let one communist set foot beyond the 38th parallel ", but christ there's too many of them. I think of what we must face as a nation and as the frontline bastion of the free world, what we must do. And these thoughts scare me. The hegemonic aspirations of Red China, the waning power of our greatest ally and the epitome of freedom - the US... This truly scares me. They tell us that the world is peaceful, that we are unlikely to see war, but the prevailing image of our future is the sight of an infantryman, fighting in the devastated remains of our homeland, a nuclear apocalypse having struck our cities, relentless hordes of communists, foreign invaders and traitors alike, all seeking to destroy this fortress of freedom and take over the remnants of the free world. I truly fear that in the defense of free democracy, in the defense of our own liberty that we may all die in the foreseeable future, be it that we are swept by the fires of nuclear war, or trampled beneath the legions of communist demons that will desecrate our beloved homeland.

Peace? Peace is a lie. There is no such thing as peace. They promised peace 60 years ago, and we trusted them. And in return 25% of our entire population lay dead in the ruins of our own homes. Raging fires, unending shells, horrors beyond mankind's imagining devastated and desecrated our mountains and forests. There was no industry left. Most of our farmland was beyond recovery - more people died from starvation than they did from bombardment. Our enemy is an insidious one. They will talk of trade, of peace and harmony between our nations, and of improving Sino-American relations, etc. etc. They will divide us, the faithful and the wavering, turn us against one another, honeyed words such as peace and prosperity. Then they will kill us. All of us. We will all die trampled beneath a million communist boots. We will all die with their cheap lead-laden toys stuck in our throats. We refused to listen to the word of reason, we refused to pay heed to those who called for vigilance, and we will have paid the price. The free world will be no more, and our children and their children will never hear the songs of liberty, or be blessed with the same sort of personal independence that we are now. All because of us. We failed to hold the line. We failed to stay vigilant. And they, our most hated enemy, caught us, as you Americans say, with our pants down.

You may think that this is not your problem, it's someone else's problem halfway across the globe. Well, then, answer me this: Who will hold the line when we fall? Who will die in your stead in the trenches and foxholes? Peace is but a delusion, a notion impregnated in our minds by our own enemies to weaken our resolve so that they may strike when our hearts' are at their weakest. Never let your guard down. Remember your sacred duty. Defend at all costs.

Am I insane to think of such things? I don't know.


I'm sorry, I'm ranting. I'm kinda drunk, I suppose.

 

[Adabiviak]

Off topic, I'm always impressed by your command of the English language. I'm not sure if that's par for the average South Korean, but your grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure is better than some native speakers.

On topic: Was that Russia or the Soviet Union that you lent money to? If it was Russia, they're still there; maybe they can make up for it and give you some plans for a nuclear power plant. Also, what exactly is S. Korea's relationship with China like?

 

[15357]

Well, thanks. I suppose it's because I read a lot, and HL2.net.

I dunno. Russia might make up for it, but as far as I'm concerned, that money is gone. Our relations with China have been normalized since the 90s (for trade, of course), but China does like to show off it's military power every now and then. Well, I suppose at least they don't threaten to destroy us in a sea of fire every month, so it's not all too bad.