How many Smith's does it take to screw in a light bulb???

[thehunter1320]

none.... there is no light bulb!

found this on another forum, wanted ur opinions

 

[LoneDeranger]

haha

 

[Gunner]

How many "light-bulb-screwing" jokes can a man take? ... none.

 

[Maxi]

Haha...not...

 

[thehunter1320]

Originally posted by )[eVo]( Para
How many "light-bulb-screwing" jokes can a man take? ... none.

there are jokes about people scewing lightbulbs?!?!?!!?

 

[king John I]

how many king johns deos it take to screw in a lightbulb? just me.

 

[Sulkdodds]

1000345....one to change the lightbulb, one million three hundred and fourty-four to crack their mucsles, adjust their ties and look menacing.
We should turn this into an official lightbulb-changing joke thread.

 

[The DemonWithin]

haha now that one was kinda funny.

 

[Baal]

haha, look "menacing" made it funny.

 

[SpuD]

How many of you can unscrew a broken lightbulb? None! only me!

 

[Mitoboy]

How many halflife2.net mods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1, but 20 members to send in complants to get it done.

... Am I going to be punished for that?

 

[AmishSlayer]

Originally posted by SpuD
How many of you can unscrew a broken lightbulb? None! only me!

Clever.

From Family Guy: How many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3. One to screw in the light bulb...and 2 to throw feces at each other... hehehehehe

 

[SpuD]

Originally posted by AmishSlayer
Clever.

From Family Guy: How many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3. One to screw in the light bulb...and 2 to throw feces at each other... hehehehehe

he says that while a swarm of apes with guns are around him....

Originally posted by Mitoboy
How many halflife2.net mods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1, but 20 members to send in complants to get it done.

... Am I going to be punished for that?

lmao

 

[AmishSlayer]

Originally posted by SpuD
he says that while a swarm of apes with guns are around him....

*sigh* .....I long for you Family Guy. ;(

Did you hear that Seth MacFarlane is making a new cartoon show called "American Dad"? Sounds like it may parallel Family Guy a bit.

 

[The Dark Elf]

Originally posted by AmishSlayer
*sigh* .....I long for you Family Guy. ;(

Did you hear that Seth MacFarlane is making a new cartoon show called "American Dad"? Sounds like it may parallel Family Guy a bit.

Been relegated to around 4am Monday nights on sky one here, I keep missing it so I think I'll be buying the DVD(s) brilliant cartoon.. Didn't know about this American Dad one, I hope its just as funny, or even better than Family Guy, looking forward to seeing it... eventually

 

[Bad^Hat]

My fav moments in Family Guy - The first episode, just the whole thing, it rocked. Where the juice mascot guy thing jumps through the wall in court I wouldn't stop laughing for hours

That one at indian casino, at the end it has all that 'the more you know' crap. Then the dad's like "...Canada sucks!" I can't remember the whole thing but it made me laugh at the time so it must've been funny.

I used to have a joke book with like 30 pages of these jokes, OMG there was this lawyer one, how many lawyers it takes. It went on for literally 3 pages describing the legal action he would take to screw it >_<

Here's one of my favourites - How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it, and one not to change it.

 

[Kadayi]

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change it, and one to find out who REALLY changed it!!

Still my favourite LB joke of all time.

 

[The Dark Elf]

How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they would rather sit in the dark than actually do any work


*hides from the flames*

 

[Brian Damage]

Q: How many idiots does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: What's a lightbulb?


Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: A party to change it, and a party to argue in the senate that it was an unneccesary change.


What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb? Well, you can unscrew a lightbulb...


There's also one I know about Irishmen, but I dunno if I should say that here...

 

[Bad^Hat]

I'd flame you but that would involve effort

There's also one I know about Irishmen, but I dunno if I should say that here...

Please do

 

[The Dark Elf]

Originally posted by Bad^Hat
I'd flame you but that would involve effort

lol, nice one

 

[The Dark Elf]

Originally posted by Brian Damage
What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb? Well, you can unscrew a lightbulb...

whats the difference between a blonde and a lightbulb?


the lightbulb is brighter



*alienates himself from another group of people*

 

[Bad^Hat]

Not a Lightbulb joke but it's just so good I have to say it.

What does it say on a blues singers tombstone?

"I didn't wake up this morning"

 

[The Dark Elf]

Originally posted by Bad^Hat
Not a Lightbulb joke but it's just so good I have to say it.

What does it say on a blues singers tombstone?

"I didn't wake up this morning"

lol

I wonder how many will get it though?

 

[Brian Damage]

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?

A: 100. One to hold the lightbulb, 99 to turn the house around.



<Hides From Irishmen>

 

[Bad^Hat]

K fine more

There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other was broke too.

What's the true definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns their own alto-clarinet.

"Boy oh boy there's nothing I love more than the sound of a banjo. Unless of course it's a cat caught in a vacuum cleaner."

How do you know that the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

All these off the top of my head musician jokes rule, I've got a really good one but it's quite long so I'll only post it if people really wanna hear it. Anyway more lightbulb jokes!

 

[Brian Damage]

Q: What is a lightbulb?

A: An LED that made it.

 

[Direwolf]

Originally posted by Brian Damage
What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb? Well, you can unscrew a lightbulb...

Steve Martin from My Blue Heaven.

 

[Brian Damage]

Who from What?

 

[Bad^Hat]

What is a tree?

A bush that made it.

 

[The Dark Elf]

Originally posted by Brian Damage
Who from What?

Steve Martin = comedian

My Blue Heaven = not his best film imo, but had its funny moments (I prefered him in the Jerk and planes, trains and automobiles)

 

[Bad^Hat]

I loved Funny Farm

 

[The Dark Elf]

Originally posted by Bad^Hat
I loved Funny Farm

That was Chevy Chase.. and yeah that was a great film, very funny.. and his characters wife was very cute


I thought the bit with the apple and other bits of food she was hiding from him was funny heheh

 

[thehunter1320]

these are really funny, and yes family guy is one hell of a cartoon show.... i like the Y2K Twinkee one! HILARIOUS!

 

[king John I]

how many scitsophrenics (sp) deos it take to screw in a light bulb?


well i would have a funny answear but i forgot it, but it was damn funny i tell you! damn bloody funny!

 

[SLH]

Originally posted by king John I
how many scitsophrenics (sp) deos it take to screw in a light bulb?


well i would have a funny answear but i forgot it, but it was damn funny i tell you! damn bloody funny!

How about this answer:

One, he gets his friend to do it.

 

[king John I]

yeah, it works.

 

[Bad^Hat]

Except in many cases scitzos aren't aware of their other personality