CptStern
suckmonkey
- Joined
- May 5, 2004
- Messages
- 10,303
- Reaction score
- 62
The emergency services are trained to cope with a wide range of emergency situations, but if a terrorist attack happens, they'll be so snowed under with calls they won't have a clue what to do. So, you'll have to deal with it yourself.
* Reduce fire hazards in your home. Children are the worst fire hazards; consider giving them up for adoption.
* Fit and maintain smoke alarms - at least one on every floor. But if they go off every time you cook bacon, like ours do, just take the batteries out.
* Most fire deaths and injuries occur while people are sleeping. Plan an escape route should a fire break out at night. Here's a hint: throw your children out of the window FIRST, then follow.
* If there is a fire, get out, stay out and call 999. Not necessarily in that order, though.
* Never use the lift. As if you have a lift in your house. Tell you what, though, if you have one of those Stannah Stairlifts? You're screwed.
* If moving or trapped in smoke stay close to the floor where the air is cleaner. While you're there, do some hoovering by putting your mouth to the floor and sucking.
* If a door feels hot, do not open it, as it probably means there is a hot hot disco party on the other side.
hehe some of it is quite funny
* Reduce fire hazards in your home. Children are the worst fire hazards; consider giving them up for adoption.
* Fit and maintain smoke alarms - at least one on every floor. But if they go off every time you cook bacon, like ours do, just take the batteries out.
* Most fire deaths and injuries occur while people are sleeping. Plan an escape route should a fire break out at night. Here's a hint: throw your children out of the window FIRST, then follow.
* If there is a fire, get out, stay out and call 999. Not necessarily in that order, though.
* Never use the lift. As if you have a lift in your house. Tell you what, though, if you have one of those Stannah Stairlifts? You're screwed.
* If moving or trapped in smoke stay close to the floor where the air is cleaner. While you're there, do some hoovering by putting your mouth to the floor and sucking.
* If a door feels hot, do not open it, as it probably means there is a hot hot disco party on the other side.
hehe some of it is quite funny
