How would you take over the world?

[the_rebel_medic]

I'm just wondering, with my jokes of being a world domineer being halted by MiccyNarc, how would you take over the world? I made a plan at one point, but never followed it through

1. A pope must be taken control of (be it via fright or otherwise, it does not matter, but we require a puppet pope)
2. We order the Christians who are under the popes control to pile up on the borders of India and the Christians on the inside to move into a circular defence.
3. We attack India, inflicting as few casualties as possible and using the internal group, capture the country's leaders.
4. Assimilate India into the army, raising forces by approximately 1 billion
5. Gather forces on the borders of China and order underground Christians inside China to make guerrilla attacks on train stations, roads and communications, allowing us to take out the Chinese Government quickly and assimilating them into the army as well.
6. Attack Russia with a force of (estimated) over 4 billion, taking control of their nuclear stockpile and population.
7. Threaten the US with nuclear war and attack from the inside out using a large portion of the Christian Army, capturing it and it's nuclear weapons (bringing the stockpile to around 60,000 nukes.
8. Threaten the remaining countries with war. Most will buckle in fear.
9. Nuke New Zealand and France. New Zealand because the accent is annoying and France because they are pricks.
10. World Domination Acheived.

Minimum casualties must be attempted...apart from NZ and France.
After World Domination is achieved, it will be allowed to return to it's standard order, just with me being on top. More funds will also be divereted to better causes such as "Helping Africa" "Curing AIDS" and "Curing Cancer"


Now, what's yours?

 

[Jintor]

Ask 15357. Glorious Editor knows all.

 

[Danimal]

Pope is Catholic btw.

 

[the_rebel_medic]

Is Christian a sub division of Catholic or vise versa?

 

[Stigmata]

Vice-versa. Christianity -> Catholicism, Baptist, Anglican, etc.

Personally, I'd just pay someone a lot of money (garnered through theft and lying to banks to get loans) to build me a device that grants me absolute telekinesis - the power to shift matter and energy at any level, from the galactic to the sub-atomic scale.

Then I use my powers to **** around for a long, long time - first isolating my friends, family, etc. in a way that prevents them from being harmed by my actions, then just doing whatever the hell I want for the next six months. Stuff like finding out whether or not there's alien life, building things, pretending I have DBZ powers, flying around the universe and watching stars explode, and so forth.

What were we talking about again?

 

[lePobz]

I'd brainwash the global population with cheesy addictive dance music, full of subliminal messages.

OR, I'd do what Jesus did, and claim to be the Messiah, the son of god. Although, it didn't work for him. And I have a father, who is far from god.

 

[Dalamari]

Sleeper cells in important cities around the world and major power grids (London, Washington D.C, Tokyo, etc...) simultaneous EMPs released in those cities, let world fight itself, start up a Nod-ish like cult to take over world with

 

[Terminator]

I'd simply tell people what to do, i already have control over the earth i just don't bother with it.

 

[MiccyNarc]

My plan? Get someone who is already trying to take over the world to stop, pretend they were joking, and reveal their plot. At that point everyone will realize what happened, and suddenly I'm a hero for stopping the villain! then everyone will worship me and I will be leader.

 

[99.vikram]

99.vikram's patented method :-

1. Buy a textile company to produce lots and lots of purple cloth.
2. Bribe the International Tailors' Guild to convert the cloth into 'Barney the Purple Dinosaur' suits.
3. Get scientologists to dress up as Barneys and fight the earth's forces.
4. Soldiers will be revolted at the very thought of fighting purple, preachy, prehistoric predators and will commit Harakiri.
5. Destroy Sealand. The world will fall to it's knees once the pirates are extinct...

 

[Marinmald]

Step 1: Do not tell others about my plans for world domination.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: enjoy

 

[The Monkey]

Lead all the countries of the world in a huge, nuclear war against eachother (I'm still working on how to do that). When everything is destoyed and people have bombed eachother back to stoneage I will emerge from the ruins and uniting the world in the names of peace and co-operation.

 

[CptStern]

I'd have a a huge world's fair where you could buy firearms, religious paraphenalia, anti-abortion/anti-gay/pro-war signs for protests. Guests would include people like Pat Robertson, George Bush, Kim long dong Jung Ill, religious extremists and celine dion. Instructional/motivational classes would be held on such subjects as on how to get the most out of your low IQ, or how to win a Darwin award ..it would be a a weekend long affair, a gathering of the slack jawed and mentally deficient ...on sunday I'd nuke the fair grounds


the world would be so glad I just killed the stupids that they'd make me Supreme ruler

 

[CyberPitz]

Taking out the major power grids in the world would be a great way to spawn anarchy and wars....Let everybody kill themselves...and the survivors will follow my lead for a better world.

 

[tehsolace]

The only way to take over the world is having the great skill of inspiring enough people to take up arms against others without hesitation: ala Hitler, Cengiz Han (Genghis Khan), etc

 

[CptStern]

The only way to take over the world is having the great skill of inspiring enough people to take up arms against others without hesitation: ala Hitler, Cengiz Han (Genghis Khan), etc

that's simple:

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials


in other words people are stupid and if you give them enough of an incentive and they'll support eradicating whomever the state pleases regardless of things like morality or facts

 

[<RJMC>]

releasing laxative gas around the world that make you poop every 10 seconds and only giving a temporal antidote to the people who obey

 

[mindless_moder]

you're placing way too much faith in the power of the pope. catholics really dont give a crap about what he says apart from making revisions to the doctrine which about 80% of them dont follow. Radical "Born again" christians on the other hand.... you could probably convince them to do just about anything as long as you tie it up in a loose string of biblical context.

 

[HunterSeeker]

I would create a secret society of which I am the leader, its members would include some of brightest people in the world and I would plant them in democratic countries and make sure they are elected leaders of those countries. Then I would have them destroy and occupy any country that I could not reach in the name of fighting terrorism.