FrostedxB
Tank
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2009
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but I really could use some advice. This is the first story I'm really trying to write, not something I just through together. However, I'm not that good at writing stories and such....
Andrew stood in the middle of the street. The sun was shining, and it was fairly warm with a gentle breeze. It had been twenty-eight years since he left this old town, the town of Pine Acres. Today was his mothers sixty-seventh birthday, and he wanted to surprise her with a long overdue visit. It was unusually quiet, there were no cars driving on the street, no kids playing on the sidewalks, nothing but a long, empty street lined with buildings. He remembered a few from his childhood in Pine Acres, but most of the shops were newer. The door to one opened and an old man staggered out. Andrew went to say hello, but the old man stopped him.
The looked each other in the eye, and the old man stated "You are not welcome here, you should leave before you anger them." with a raspy voice
"Anger who?" Andrew asked, with a shaky tone.
"Just get out before you learn who." The man staggered away.
" Just ignore that old coot, your perfectly safe here." A soft, feminine voice was behind him. Andrew turned to see a blonde haired woman, maybe in here 20's smiling at him. "He's a little crazy when he hasn't taken his medicines. Is there anything I can help you with?"
"I was just going to my old house, to visit my mother for her birthday."
"How sweet, I'm Briana, mayor of this great town, who are you? I'm sure I'll know your parents."
"My name is Andrew Becker, I live on 45 preach drive."
" Oh, well I'm sure your parents will be very happy to see you, but I've rarely seen them leave that house, much less spoken to them."
"Thanks anyway, Briana, I suppose I'll see you around." Andrew turned around and began walking down the street again. A sign hanging from above one shop read "Heartman's Toy Shop." He recognized it as the store he went to as a little boy, the place where he got all his toys, and his first bike. The shop had a padlock around the door and all the windows were boarded up. He came up to an intersecting, and made a right onto Preach Drive. An old 1972 Plymouth Satellite was parked in front of a small, ranch style house, his house. Andrew walked up to the front gate and pushed it open, making a soft squeking sound as it turned. A 1980 Chevy Monza rolled down the street, and turned left onto the road where Andrew was. He began walking up the stone walkway to the gray porch. The staircase squealed as he climbed each step to reach the door. He slowly reached his arm out, pressed the doorbell, and waited a moment. Finally the door opened, and a skinny, grey woman was standing in the doorway."Mom?"
*Looks like the forum will be screwing up the format, sorry, there are paragraphs
Andrew stood in the middle of the street. The sun was shining, and it was fairly warm with a gentle breeze. It had been twenty-eight years since he left this old town, the town of Pine Acres. Today was his mothers sixty-seventh birthday, and he wanted to surprise her with a long overdue visit. It was unusually quiet, there were no cars driving on the street, no kids playing on the sidewalks, nothing but a long, empty street lined with buildings. He remembered a few from his childhood in Pine Acres, but most of the shops were newer. The door to one opened and an old man staggered out. Andrew went to say hello, but the old man stopped him.
The looked each other in the eye, and the old man stated "You are not welcome here, you should leave before you anger them." with a raspy voice
"Anger who?" Andrew asked, with a shaky tone.
"Just get out before you learn who." The man staggered away.
" Just ignore that old coot, your perfectly safe here." A soft, feminine voice was behind him. Andrew turned to see a blonde haired woman, maybe in here 20's smiling at him. "He's a little crazy when he hasn't taken his medicines. Is there anything I can help you with?"
"I was just going to my old house, to visit my mother for her birthday."
"How sweet, I'm Briana, mayor of this great town, who are you? I'm sure I'll know your parents."
"My name is Andrew Becker, I live on 45 preach drive."
" Oh, well I'm sure your parents will be very happy to see you, but I've rarely seen them leave that house, much less spoken to them."
"Thanks anyway, Briana, I suppose I'll see you around." Andrew turned around and began walking down the street again. A sign hanging from above one shop read "Heartman's Toy Shop." He recognized it as the store he went to as a little boy, the place where he got all his toys, and his first bike. The shop had a padlock around the door and all the windows were boarded up. He came up to an intersecting, and made a right onto Preach Drive. An old 1972 Plymouth Satellite was parked in front of a small, ranch style house, his house. Andrew walked up to the front gate and pushed it open, making a soft squeking sound as it turned. A 1980 Chevy Monza rolled down the street, and turned left onto the road where Andrew was. He began walking up the stone walkway to the gray porch. The staircase squealed as he climbed each step to reach the door. He slowly reached his arm out, pressed the doorbell, and waited a moment. Finally the door opened, and a skinny, grey woman was standing in the doorway."Mom?"
*Looks like the forum will be screwing up the format, sorry, there are paragraphs
