I feel kinda stupid talking about this but...

[tokin]

i need some help. Ok so this girl moved to my school like 4 years ago and she's gone through many friends and hasnt actually kept a true guy/girl friend except for me. I've been there contiously, we dated for about 4 months last year and it ended up not working out. Although we've stayed friends since, we've even had our own little thing at times, sometimes just a strickly mess around friend relationship. We have gone through small fights but we both know we have always had something for eachother and that we are always there for eachother. Well i just find out from my other friend (use to be best friends with him) that he messed around with her, not sex but some other stuff and of course she would of never told anyone. It's so shocking to me because she isnt like that with anyone else except for me, so i thought...and she's so nice and exclusive with me when we are together..i guess she can really play it off? Well i dont really know how to handle this because im so out of it right now cause i could kill someone. She already knows i have something to talk/say to her about and i kinda need the best input i can get as to how to handle this god damn situation because im extremely angry, depressed, sad, and lastly i cant even think straight...at all.

edit: i would talk to a few of my closer friends/family but i cant even do that because this cant really get out to anyone, it would change things for ever

 

[Mr.Reak]

i need some help. Ok so this girl moved to my school like 4 years ago and she's gone through many friends and hasnt actually kept a true guy/girl friend except for me. I've been there contiously, we dated for about 4 months last year and it ended up not working out. Although we've stayed friends since, we've even had our own little thing at times, sometimes just a strickly mess around friend relationship. We have gone through small fights but we both know we have always had something for eachother and that we are always there for eachother. Well i just find out from my other friend (use to be best friends with him) that he messed around with her, not sex but some other stuff and of course she would of never told anyone. It's so shocking to me because she isnt like that with anyone else except for me, so i thought...and she's so nice and exclusive with me when we are together..i guess she can really play it off? Well i dont really know how to handle this because im so out of it right now cause i could kill someone. She already knows i have something to talk/say to her about and i kinda need the best input i can get as to how to handle this god damn situation because im extremely angry, depressed, sad, and lastly i cant even think straight...at all.

edit: i would talk to a few of my closer friends/family but i cant even do that because this cant really get out to anyone, it would change things for ever

Here is my take on it (depressing take):

You don’t want here as a friend, you want her as a girlfriend. If you wanted her to be just your best girl FRIEND, you wouldn’t care about with whom she does what. Seems she is not sure enough if she still likes you, maybe to her you are close friend, and nothing more. That’s a problem with people who broke up and say “let’s still be friends”, but in reality it’s one sided relationship, one person wants to move on (that girl as it seems), another side still wants real relationship and full of jealousy (that’s you buddy).

Thing is, you already looking at her differently because you know her secret and every time you see her you are thinking about it. It’s either talk to her about it, and maybe losing her as a friend forever, or be depressed everyday and think about what else she might have done. Try approach it very slowly, DO NOT go out directly “what the heck did you do with my formal best friend?!”.

 

[FoB_Ed]

you sound like your in love, whatever you do just don't let the relationship fade away because you'll regret it.

 

[Willber123]

is she fit?

 

[tokin]

I can't be in love with someone that does this shit, not my type of girl....it's all just to much to take and its hard. Im suprised i didnt beat the shit out of my friend, instead i ended up smoking about 5 cigs considering i never smoke them, i still didnt end up calming down.

 

[Willber123]

hmm, id say probably get rid of her, although, you do sound like you like her alot, how about try talking to her and see if she wants to get back together with you, and stop doing stuff with other guys. but if all that fails or you dont want to get back with her, jsut loose her, tell her to fu*k off or something, make it memoriable infront of loads of people to embarass her the way she made you feel! :naughty:

 

[Mr-Fusion]

No...i won't say that.

 

[Mr.Reak]

Way to miss what I have posted... You want her on a sexual level, or you wouldn't get so mad about it.

 

[Willber123]

yeh i second that actually

 

[clarky003]

classy story

 

[Chewcky]

same situation almost, dunno what to do either

 

[ComradeBadger]

Talk to her about it. Simple, just do it.

Be a better person than I ever was.

 

[ailevation]

:| If you don't love her, you must really hate her. Why would you care if she does that with some other dude? You must be jealous because you envy/love/hate.

It's so shocking to me because she isnt like that with anyone else except for me, so i thought.

She aint your personal play toy you know. You should only feel that way about a girl if you 2 are going out.

 

[DreamThrall]

Heh, I ended up marrying that girl...

 

[ailevation]

:| Yeah and after you married her, I boned her... because she cheated on your chump ass with me.

 

[oldagerocker]

i had a problem with a girl who really was my best friend. Towards the end of school we started emailing and she became my spine in times when i just couldnt cope, i could talk to her and she'd always make me feel better, i depended on her. Well, we went to the school prom together (as friends), i got a little tipsy but i knew what i was doing and my boundaries with friendship go a long way... so i was quite happy to slow-dance with her... she wasn't, a mistake on my part, i was too trusting and she thought i was coming on to her, and trust me, she's not my type. The problem was that she was Too good looking, although not my type, plenty of other peoples and she thought highly of herself. We had a few arguments later on after the prom but now its deterioated, she didnt bother calling me, it was always up to me to try and meet up or get in touch and she made promises of us going out and being friends again which she couldnt keep. We are no longer in touch and i feel ive lost the best mate i ever had, someone i could (and did) tell everything.
What you've got to do Tokin is to not let it get to you, iits your friendship and nobody can experience it to advice you properly, but whatever you do, talking (i think) is the key, if you trust her taht much. You've got to talk to her. its not talking (as she wouldnt talk about the prom after) that drove me and my best friend apart. You've always got other friends though, never discount them over that one person.

 

[tokin]

Well ill do my best, im working on what im going to say to her...not to mean, not really that nice, but how i really feel about it and putting some guilt on her because she deserves it. Another thing i didn't mention as her blaming stuff on me getting with girls or wondering who is on my new voicemail/missed calls. Then i find out about other peple she is with, i mean its insane! I never give her crap about any of that and she expects a ton out of me. Although we have been friends for so long, i do care enough to talk to her about it but we have always talked about trust and i think this is going to end up with an "everything is better" in like 1-2wks or things are changed for good.