I love reader reviews

[Feath]

"I don't like this game because I can't understand anything".

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/halflife/reader_review.html?id=807398

"I don't like this game because I didn't get to shoot enough things"

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/halflife/reader_review.html?id=841318

"I don't like this game because the graphics are bad despite it being 3 years old. I'll just compare it to recently released games."

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/halflife/reader_review.html?id=786100

Look for more. I can't believe people were picking up Half-Life many years after it came out expecting it to beat the newest games graphically. Typical example:

In 1996, when I first played the Quake demo, I was amazed. In 1999, when I was utterly terrified by Shadowman, I was amazed. In early 2001, when I played Alice, I was amazed. A few weeks ago, I picked up Half-Life and played it. I enjoyed it, but I wan't amazed.

EDIT: I have to add this one:

"I don't like this game and I'm the only one who can see it. I'm special".

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/halflife/reader_review.html?id=393721

 

[Dux]

HA!HA!

Asshats.

[EDIT] hehe gotta add this bit.

this game has no action for an action game! The only fun you ever have is see one alien blasting another; but guess what: your not even doing anything!!!! I pitty the people who like this game because i guess they havent been able to tell how bad it is.

 

[rec]

Entertaining reads.

I hate to assume anything, but I'll go out on a limb here and say these guys are around the twelve years of age mark, who only got around to playing Half-Life after Counter-Strike.

 

[Homer]

I love the people who post reviews for games that arent out yet.


"I gave this game a 10 because it lookgs good in one screenshot"

 

[dfc05]

Originally posted by rec
Entertaining reads.

I hate to assume anything, but I'll go out on a limb here and say these guys are around the twelve years of age mark, who only got around to playing Half-Life after Counter-Strike.

Why always twelve? Is twelve the standard age for immaturity, lol?

What those people wrote is funny, especially when you twist it around.
That one about being special.... hmm, sometimes special can be a bad thing.
For the one about not being able to understand anything.... that sounds self-insulting.

 

[Maskirovka]

this game has no action for an action game! The only fun you ever have is see one alien blasting another; but guess what: your not even doing anything!!!! I pitty the people who like this game because i guess they havent been able to tell how bad it is.

yep that about sums up half-life

(i "pitty" this guy)

my system is a pent. 4 1.5 gig mghz 1024 mbs ram sound balster live 5.1 platinum with a nvidia geforce 2 ti graphics card

lol 1.5 gig megahertz! that's fast i bet. and a sound balster...mmm.
did they even make the "titanium" in gf2 days? i dont think so...

First of all the first half hour of the game ur riding in a little train thing with no purpose to it whatsever! Then maybe 10 years after that u acctually get to ur destination! Then from some unexplained conflict a reactor blows and zombies appear. And you have the miraculous crowbar! Sound is mediocre at best! The graphics... Dont get me started!

one sentence short of having 5 sentences in a row ending in an exclamation...lol

==================

thanks for the laughs, feath

==================

 

[rec]

Ok, for arguments sake, we'll say... thirteen?

 

[Dux]

Originally posted by rec
Ok, for arguments sake, we'll say... thirteen?

Uh oh...

 

[Homer]

12-15 is the most annoying age groop. I guess getting your first pubes makes you arrogant or something, I dunno. All I know is when my little brother was 14 I used to have to kick his ass daily, he would alwase pick fights with me and he would NEVER win. its like the terrible 2s.

 

[rec]

Hey, I was thirteen once too, I'm not saying I was any better. But let's face it, the majority of kids in that age bracket running rampant on forums are usually posting in the same tone and class as those reader reviews.

 

[Bad^Hat]

LOL very nice

 

[Woggy]

and a sound balster...mmm.
did they even make the "titanium" in gf2 days? i dont think so...

What wrong with an SoundBlaster Live?
And yes, ofcourse they made Ti versions of the Geforce 2. Stop trying to act smart when you obviously arnt :stare:

:cheers:

As for multiplayer, I didn't bother. Like I said, the game was horrid. You are better off saving your money for Heretic II, or Blood 2, both games who's predecessors were excellent, and their demos are very promising.

Ok, I couldnt stop laughing after I read this one. Heretic 2, BLOOD 2?
LoL :dork:

 

[Tork]

yes reader reviews sometimes SUCK!! for example this one made me laugh

Metroid Prime is great as a adventure title. No doubt there. But it suffers dramatically by a lack of atmosphere
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...customer-reviews&show=-submittime&start-at=11

the review title reads Good... Where's the atmosphere?

lmao

:cheers:

 

[Maskirovka]

Originally posted by Woggy
What wrong with an SoundBlaster Live?
And yes, ofcourse they made Ti versions of the Geforce 2. Stop trying to act smart when you obviously arnt

eh heh...i was making fun of the misspelling sound "balster" i can now make fun of you for misspelling "arnt" when telling me i'm not smart.

furthermore, i asked the question...did they even make the titanium back in geforce 2 times? i was implying that i'm not sure...not trying to be a know it all.

 

[Mechagodzilla]

Originally posted by Woggy
Ok, I couldnt stop laughing after I read this one. Heretic 2, BLOOD 2?
LoL :dork:

Hahaha! I forgot the blood series even existed. I guess there wasn't enough satanic bloodspray in HL for this guy.

Also, what's with all the kids who can't handle the 2 or 3 minute tram ride? I have a friend who won't even begin to play the game because it takes "too long."

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was looking around out the windows thinking: "Cool, a huge robot!"

Perhaps the short attention spans explain their negative reviews.
I'm sure they were so sleepy and bored after the first five minutes, that they passed out and promptly forgot about the game because they were too dumb to reach combat.

It's obvious to me that an A.D.D. kid who enjoys Blood and similar no-plot, maximum-redpixel crapfests would need to keep off the ritalin.
Or he just might find out that all the games he owns are crap.

In fact, this will now be my sig.

 

[pHATE1982]

I thought blood 2 was okay....

ehem

 

[Alzxul]

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was looking around out the windows thinking: "Cool, a huge robot!"

Damn straight. It was extremely fun to actually see people doing stuff around Black Mesa, actually made it feel alive.

Anyway those reviews are absoloutely hilarious, a good read :cheese:

 

[LoneDeranger]

I already reviewed Half-Life 2 by summarizing the storyline and adding some of my own twists. It was fun