"I pooped in your tank" and other stories

[CptStern]

heheh funny article on the problem of tank-jacking by smacktards


"And then, as I paused in friendly territory to hop out and repair my tank, YOU jumped into it and drove it away -- still damaged! -- toward the enemy.

You didn't even have the common decency to run me over to save the effort of walking back to base.

But let me tell you something, [ST]Stryker667, let me tell you something loud and clear. I'm letting you in on a little secret. Between you and me, I had a contingency plan reserved in the event that my tank was stolen by smacktards such as yourself. Yes I did. And you want to know what my secret is, [ST]Stryker667? Five magical little words, my friend.

I pooped in your tank. That's right"

 

[CptStern]

no one likes my story? it's about pooping in tanks ....what's not to like?

 

[Icarusintel]

yeah, funny, the set up was a little long, and the delivery mediocre, but still enjoyable, left a corn taste in my mouth, though

 

[CptStern]

try to fully chew your corn next time :E

 

[Icarusintel]

try to fully chew your corn next time :E

it's more fun to look at if there's corn, it's like a fiesta in the toilet bowl:afro:

 

[CptStern]

do you use a spoon or a fork?

 

[Ennui]

no one likes my story? it's about pooping in tanks ....what's not to like?

No, I <3's it.

 

[CptStern]

yay!!! someone loves my poopy story!!!

 

[Mr. Redundant]

a story that involves stealth pooping? Im down!

 

[Icarusintel]

do you use a spoon or a fork?

a fork, but chewing any food clearly takes too much time and effort that could be spent on games, so i don;t do it often

 

[Shodan]

Damn.

I just realised that I can't freeload off of the demo anymore, I'm gonna have to buy this....

 

[Pesmerga]

It was funny until I realized you hadn't placed 5 c4's on the tank instead of "poopy"

 

[BF2slut]

heheh funny article on the problem of tank-jacking by smacktards


"And then, as I paused in friendly territory to hop out and repair my tank, YOU jumped into it and drove it away -- still damaged! -- toward the enemy.

You didn't even have the common decency to run me over to save the effort of walking back to base.

But let me tell you something, [ST]Stryker667, let me tell you something loud and clear. I'm letting you in on a little secret. Between you and me, I had a contingency plan reserved in the event that my tank was stolen by smacktards such as yourself. Yes I did. And you want to know what my secret is, [ST]Stryker667? Five magical little words, my friend.

I pooped in your tank. That's right"

thats EXTREME!

Hello, readers! It is the fickle nature of the large, anonymous Internet that forbids me from contacting my Battlefield 2 nemesis directly, so I'm speaking to him here, in this open forum. Yes, this column is dedicated to one person and one person only: [ST]Stryker667, with whom I had a brief but unfortunate encounter on the GameSpy West Coast Ranked Battlefield 2 server last night.

Don't remember me? Allow me to paint a picture for you, [ST]Stryker667. I was in a tank on the Karkand map, and I was at the top of the score list. I had racked up kill after kill, brushing aside infantry and vehicles alike. I'm a cautious tank driver, [ST]Stryker667: I shell from a distance, keeping my eyes on my flanks and repairing after each encounter. [ST]Stryker667, we were winning the battle. Oh yes. Between myself and my excellent-all-but-for-one-guy team, we had the map locked down. We did, [ST]Stryker667, we did indeed.

And then, as I paused in friendly territory to hop out and repair my tank, YOU jumped into it and drove it away -- still damaged! -- toward the enemy.

You didn't even have the common decency to run me over to save the effort of walking back to base.

But let me tell you something, [ST]Stryker667, let me tell you something loud and clear. I'm letting you in on a little secret. Between you and me, I had a contingency plan reserved in the event that my tank was stolen by smacktards such as yourself. Yes I did. And you want to know what my secret is, [ST]Stryker667? Five magical little words, my friend.

I pooped in your tank. That's right:
http://media.gamespy.com/columns/image/article/628/628676/pfargo_doodytank_1119564044.jpg

You probably didn't notice when you got in, but now that the hatches are closed, life's gonna start getting PRE-tty pungent. Not to toot my own horn. I pooped in your tank. Now, my contingency plan is not located in an obvious place. No, [ST]Stryker667, no sir I'm going to let you find it on your own. Perhaps in the middle of furious combat when you reach down for the handbrake and then -- Ah! Made you look! Oh no [ST]Stryker667, you won't find my little backup plan until you least expect it.

Not that you'll have my tank for very long. Judging by the seizure-symptomatic way you play this game you've got the kind of sharp-as-water mental acumen of someone who needs verbal cues to put on his pants in the morning. Are you even wearing pants, [ST]Stryker667? I wasn't. When I pooped. In your tank. Enjoy your ill-gotten gains, smacktard.

Welcome to Doody, Soldier. •

 

[Dr. Freeman]

only Stern could post such a story!
hey Stern when i play BF2 with u, i'll becareful of hopping into any tank

 

[gh0st]

that was a really funny, fargo always has good shit on gamespy. i'm surprised i saw it before you posted it!

 

[Fliko]

Reminds me of the time I jumped out of my tank, then the damned AI (He teleported out of no where!) Jumped in and ran me over as I desperatly repaired it to full health before he did so.