Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure

[CptStern]

freakin funny text adventure game parody, here's a sample


Oval Office
You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.

There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.

What do you want to do now?

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.

> PET SEAL
It’s not that kind of seal.

> EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton’s shoes.

> FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton’s shoes.

 

[clarky003]

lol. that is rather hilarious, and suprisingly accurate.

> INVADE IRAQ
(Leaving Afghanistan first.)
You are not able to do that, yet.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> ****
Such language in a high-class establishment like this!

> HYPE THREAT
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

> MONGER FEAR
"Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud ..."

> MUDDY WATER
"We know that Iraq and the al Qaeda terrorist network share a common enemy -- the United States of America. We know that Iraq and al Qaeda have had high-level contacts that go back a decade. And we know that after September the 11th, Saddam Hussein's regime gleefully celebrated the terrorist attacks on America ..."

> PUNISH CRITICS
"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction ... "

> RAILROAD CONGRESS
You schedule a vote on the Iraq invasion for just before the 2002 midterm elections. As usual, spineless democrats roll over like an SUV taking a sharp corner.

Your plan to invade Iraq now has the backing of the American people and Congress.

> INVADE IRAQ
Baghdad
You enter the Iraqi capital of Bagdad, having toppled the government and captured the nation's key cities in only 21 days. You can't seem to find the promised throngs of citizens greeting you as liberators, but the footage of the Saddam statue being pulled down looks great on Fox!

> GIVE CONTRACTS
Who do you want to give the contracts to?

> HALLIBURTON
What kind of contracts do you wish to give to Halliburton?

> NO-BID
You give the no-bid contracts to Halliburton.

 

[skarrob]

Maybe you should run for President of the United States, oh i forgot your Canadien

 

[CptStern]

actually I'm canadian and canadien or canadienne in quebec ..and I'm sure I could do a better job than numbnuts

for starters I would have saved the american people close to 2 trillion dollars and 2100 american lives

 

[JNightshade]

Hell, I'd vote for Stern. And skarrob, maybe you should run for president of the United States! I mean, judging by the current bozo there, severe retardation isn't a problem...

But anyway, that was very funny indeed. I giggled at the "pet seal" command.

 

[VictimOfScience]

Hahaha! That is a great time. Thanks Stern!

Laughter: a soothing balm for the soul.

 

[15357]

HAHAHAHA

 

[Sprite]

> SCORE
Your favorablity rating is 47% out of a possible 100%.

> ADMIT MISTAKES
You are unable to admit mistakes.

> ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
You are unable to accept responsibility.

> DECLARE VICTORY
I do not know what you mean by "victory."

> QUIT
Oh, how we wish you would.

HAHA really good find!

 

[Raeven0]

That's good. Very good.

I'd run for President, but I am much too young, and also much too monetarily disadvantaged. Who's for revolution instead?

 

[Raziaar]

I have more text game experience than anyone on these forums. Your text game sucks!

As far as voting for stern. Nah. I wouldn't trust a guy with such a deep seated resentment for the country that is seperate from his hatred of the current occupying government body.