Man charged with assualting female Police officer with Penis

[CptStern]

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

he tried to pokerface with his pecker!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/8570398.stm

 

[Raziaar]

Uhh... how'd she ever allow herself to get so low? Was he standing on a deck or something?

 

[CyberPitz]

He's giant.

 

[Ezra]

Maybe he offered to show her an amazing secret he had hidden in his hands so she bent down to get a closer look.

 

[CptStern]

and got a eyeful of cock for her trouble

 

[Ezra]

Nothing says "hello officer" like a slap in the face with your member.

 

[the cow says moo]

He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

Sounds like there may of been something else going on. *wink

 

[PvtRyan]

It's called zwaffelen.

 

[jverne]

What a dick!

 

[VirusType2]

"Your honor, I thought my friends sent me a stripper; honest!"

Judge sets aside his gavel, and instead slaps his cock on the block.

You've been... cock blocked.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH

 

[Lucid]

God damn it who let Willie out of his cage this time?

 

[Dog--]

She took evasive action.

fkn lol

 

[Remus]

*Deploying flares*

 

[Warped]

POW! Right in the kisser!

 

[Dan]

Gives a whole new meaning to member of the force

 

[<RJMC>]

the dangers of carrying the loaded gun

 

[Hurricane]

*various quotes from the scene in Star Wars where they attack the Death Star.*

 

[the cow says moo]

 

[jverne]

Oh Oh, i got another one...


He sure didn't use that to protect his family!

 

[the cow says moo]

It said he had a girl-friend, not a family.

 

[Naph]

It's in the job description, she knew what's coming for her.

 

[swan_song1973]

forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck

made me lol.

 

[15357]

Lol.


I kinda like this story. It makes me comfortable.

 

[the cow says moo]

I kinda like this story. It makes me comfortable.

What are you gay?

 

[15357]

What are you gay?

No, I just feel comfortable knowing that we are corrupted by the influences of the depravity of the Barbaric West.

 

[<RJMC>]

No, I just feel comfortable knowing that we are corrupted by the influences of the depravity of the Barbaric West.

or cuz you wanted to do this but thought that you would get to jail,but now that you see that you may only get a simple infraction them you are more inclined to do it?

I ma right??

number: *zips down pants and get penis close to face of super hot badass south korean police woman* if you dont give a blowjob them you are a comunist spy!

*badass south korean policewoman hit whit her elbow the nuts of number so hard it lift him off the ground and fall into fetal position shaking uncontrolaby,all while she was siping the coffe whitout spiling it*

 

[Hells Angel]

This story is genius and i have the image of her doing some kind of leaning backwards side dive to escape the on-coming object