Men > Women :P

[99.vikram]

http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/

Anyone visit this site? It's absolutely hilarious.

In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven?t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it?s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.

That?s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you?re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You?re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.

And this one is pure win - 10 reasons why men are better than women.

 

[Maxi]

Wow, that is actually funny, if you take it not-seriously.

When reading some of the comments, some take it too seriously. Hah.

 

[Naph]

These have complete opposites.

If a woman made the 10 reason you would get:

10. Men don't speak enough, and if they do, it's about sex etc.
9. Men don't understand our feelings.

and so on.
Think it was meant to be serious >_>

 

[Avoidist]

I think this guy has had some previous issues. A lot of previous issues. That and the fact that he sounds like he has and IQ that relates him to Paris Hilton, which may explain some of his aggression. (This is of course taking him seriously. Seems like I'm having to apply Poe's law to everything these days. I actually took the first Onion news story I read seriously. That's how bad the world is today.)

Still funny though.

 

[99.vikram]

Jeez, how thick are you ppl?

I'm a man and children respect that men don't ingratiate themselves to a bunch of money-grubbing rug rats.

If women weren’t so much worse than men at educating, we wouldn't need schools. We would just send kids into the salt mines for their eight birthday.

"Happy birthday, Shitmouth. Prepare to be educated."

****, that's manly.

INTERNET, MEET SARCASM.

 

[Maxi]

The internet knows sarcasm, women don't. /sarcasm.

Seriously, people need to stop believing everything on the internet is true and serious.

 

[Krynn72]

We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that?s awesome!

Goddamnit thats awesome.

 

[pistolero!]

The perfect woman is a man.

THERE IS NO ESCAPE HUHAHAHR

 

[nurizeko]

Women are only perfect until the morning after you've pumped them and the alcohol has worn off.



Nah I love women, I mean, if it wasn't for them we'd all have to go gay.

 

[Cheomesh]

Definitely satire. The name he's using is "Dick Masterson," ffs. That said, it's hilarious.

The comments are really funny too, in a different way. They all pretty much come down to "bawwww i have to have a woman's consent to engage in sexual congress OMG FEMINISM IS OPPRESSING ME SOCIETY HATES MEN"

I get that feeling sometimes.

Hm...




Still lulzy though.

 

[repiV]

Doesn't this article I found there just make you mad though?

Clicky

 

[Acepilotf14]

"The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!"

 

[Cheomesh]

Doesn't this article I found there just make you mad though?

Clicky

That's one smart woman.

 

[Pesmerga]

I am a bus boy at Chilis.

Men do the hard work. You know why there are only bus boys? Because bus girls would only lolly gag around the ****ing place picking up cups one by one and planting them carefully and tactfully into their bus top. Men just take one hand and sweep it all in before anyone can say Fence of Dicks.

That's why restaurants work. Because of bus boys and cooks. McDonalds is the most popular restaurant because there are no women servers, just cooks and men to clean the tables.

 

[Kaptain H]

I don't know, it could have been funnier. Only really redeemed by the hilarity of people who take offense to it. Savethemales.ca is a barrel of awesome, though.

Unrelated, but "crisis" and "opportunity" are totally not the same word in Chinese.

 

[kirovman]

Men > Women

Why, I didn't know you swing that way D:

 

[PvtRyan]

It's true though. I mean, anyone here know a funny female comedian? Raise your hand if you do. Anyone? No, I didn't think so either. Hell, anyone here know a female comedian that doesn't wanna make you punch yourself? Q.E.D.

 

[repiV]

It's true though. I mean, anyone here know a funny female comedian? Raise your hand if you do. Anyone? No, I didn't think so either. Hell, anyone here know a female comedian that doesn't wanna make you punch yourself? Q.E.D.

They're called feminists. Funny for all the wrong reasons.

 

[CptStern]

have fun bum-blasting your bum-chums guys I'll take women over men any day

 

[99.vikram]

There really should be a way to edit thread titles.

 

[Cheomesh]

Female comedians could be so much better if they didn't think that simply talking about their sexual organs is automatically funny. Pretty much all their jokes can be summed up as "OMG i have a vagina!"

srsly pls 2 be getting originality bb

Agreed.

 

[Tyguy]

I actually took the first Onion news story I read seriously. That's how bad the world is today.)

is it the world that is sad, or just you?

 

[Acepilotf14]

It's true though. I mean, anyone here know a funny female comedian? Raise your hand if you do. Anyone? No, I didn't think so either. Hell, anyone here know a female comedian that doesn't wanna make you punch yourself? Q.E.D.

There was this fat girl on the world comedy tour tha tmade me laugh. Only flaw was that she didn't make fun of her own fatness. and she was wearing short shorts, so it made me cringe.

 

[kupocake]

"In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven't looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it's probably true because us men have something called integrity."

Fail. Lisa Simpson said it.

 

[Irksome]

Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

:rolling:

 

[VirusType2]

Female comedians could be so much better if they didn't think that simply talking about their sexual organs is automatically funny. Pretty much all their jokes can be summed up as "OMG i have a vagina!"

srsly pls 2 be getting originality bb

I've seen 2 funny female comedians before. But I've seen probably 500 funny male comedians.

I wonder why that is?


I think I know why actually.

Because women don't have to be funny to get a man. Men like women even when they don't say anything, and some would prefer them that way.

Men use jokes to get girls to laugh, and to get them to smile and like them.

Being funny can also show intelligence without being nerdy.

 

[CptStern]

some of you are never getting laid ..but if you keep your weird ideas of what women are to yourselves there may be hope

 

[Jintor]

Stern, we're kidding. Yeesh.

 

[Cheomesh]

:| And I thought I took things to hear too much.

 

[Vegeta897]

Thanks Stern.

You can leave the thread now.

--

I've thought about why there are so many more funny male comedians than male. Same with actors if you ask me.
To me it kind of seems like women don't really have the natural abilities and flow to do those sort of things, and they actually have to practice and practice and try much harder to pull of the same thing a man can do more naturally. I could be wrong, I don't really know, and just talking about this makes me feel like a sexist jerk.

 

[Pesmerga]

I've been to third base. A lot.

 

[Ennui]

this website is funny but not as funny as it could be.

the only one on the list I truly lol'd at was:

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t **** up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be ****ing courteous.’