Michael Bay's rejected script for The Dark Knight

CptStern

CptStern

suckmonkey
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Apparently, Michael Bay wrote an unsolicited script for The Dark Knight that was ultimately rejected by Warner Bro
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here's a sample of his brilliant/idiotic writing

"EXT. A HIGHWAY - DAY

The Batmobile is gunning down the highway at over 200 miles per hour, weaving through traffic. Everytime BATMAN is about to crash into a civilian, the camera enters slow motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame."


This happens seventeen times.
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http://my.spill.com/profiles/blog/show?id=947994:BlogPost:355506

lol Michael Bay is a hack, I cant believe he has a career in hollywood
 
Yeah, he makes mostly Crash and Bash Movies with a shit-load of CGI and bad storyline, but who cares, it's the first point I care about. Bad Boys, Transformers, Armageddon.. Well, he gave us Pearl Habour though, which I thought was a very good movie.

Also I lol'd at

Heath Ledger saw this script then offed himself in shame.
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soulslicer said:
Yeah, he makes mostly Crash and Bash Movies with a shit-load of CGI and bad storyline, but who cares, it's the first point I care about. Bad Boys, Transformers, Armageddon.. Well, he gave us Pearl Habour though, which I thought was a very good movie.

Also I lol'd at
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I thought armageddon was utter crap and bad boys was just as bad and I've only seen a bit of Pearl Harbor but that was laughably bad
 
"We pan to a beautiful woman: platinum blonde with a huge rack. She is the most beautiful woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world"


Ahaha holy shit this cant be real.

Bruce: We hack the internet.

Alfred: Hack the internet?

Bruce: Yes, hack the internet.

General: No one's ever hacked the internet before

Bruce: Well, theres a first time for everything.

General: Ok I like it, but which one of the internets do we hack?

Bruce: All of them


Edit: Knew I recognized that joke

20070716.jpg
 
Heh....I think it probably goes without saying that this is fake (since half the scenes are bits from other Bay movies), but it's a hilarious fake.
 
The Rock is the only decent movie that Bay has made, and that's only because Sean Connery is in it.
 
She is the hottest woman in world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world
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Jesus christ, this cannot be serious...

...can it?

EDIT: Christ, I just read the ending. What a prat.
 
The entire sub-plot in Transformers about the beautiful (ungh) australian hacker teaming up with big, black nerd-hacker (more ungh) is reason enough to forbid Michael Bay to ever make movies again.


...but then again so is all of Armageddon and 90% of Pearl Harbour (Basically, the attack is cool and well-depicted. Until Affleck and that other idiot pilot starts showing off their laws of physics-violating super-piloting skills).
 
The Monkey said:
The Rock is the only decent movie that Bay has made, and that's only because Sean Connery is in it.
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It's also very well written with good characters, especially for a Bay movie.
 
Fake or not, I engaged in some sort of process that encorporates vomiting, bleeding, and laughing, at once.
 
BHC said:
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155700/

1:10, Micheal Bay summed up perfectly.
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Here in Canadia I can't view videos from that website. Can you tell me the season / episode that link is linking to?

btw I kind of like most of the movies talked about in this thread :( Collateral was by Michael Bay too, right? That wasn't bad either....

Man, I really suck. I'm sorry :(

edit: What movie is the part with the chick fixing the engine from?
 
...a brief glance across those beautiful pecs.
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I think he's gone gay.

She leans onto the engine, exposing her breasts covered in perspiration. The camera moves in and out on them, emphatically, a number of times.
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"EXT. A HIGHWAY - DAY

The Batmobile is gunning down the highway at over 200 miles per hour, weaving through traffic. Everytime BATMAN is about to crash into a civilian, the camera enters slow motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame."


This happens seventeen times.
Click to expand...

Wow... that would have made me vomit in rage, and then I'd force him to eat it. Seriously that type of stuff is what I hate about Hollywood movies.
 
she Leans Onto The Engine, Exposing Her Breasts Covered In Perspiration. The Camera Moves In And Out On Them, Emphatically, A Number Of Times.
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Hahahaha
 
Afterward: one last explosion, this time in slow motion, with tanks flying out of it.
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Oh sweet googly moogly lol.
 
After reading those other quotes that people posted of it... And not actually reading the script beyond what stern had posted, I'm fairly certain it's ultra fake.
 
Wait, Bay made The Rock?

Wow, that movie was totally unlike him.
 
You just copied that from the comments...

Edit : damn ye and your ability to change your posts!
 
I'm getting the impression that some of you believe this is real. Wow.

Funny though.
 
Always knew it was fake, but takes the piss out of him awsomely.
 
The thing I love the most was the part when Bruce is in the Batcave and Back in Black is playing as he's gearing up, and when he's all geared up, he looks in the mirror and says "Back in Black", that made me lol hard, because it's so believable for a Michael Bay movie scene.
 
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