Murder Simulators turn Octogenarians into mindless murdering machines

[CptStern]

"Barbara St. Hilaire spends about 50 hours a week wielding a machete, dismembering demons and battling a slew of thugs, zombies, and other nasties of the video-gaming world. Having recently nailed a 100% score in Outlaw Golf 2, she's now focused on mastering the top levels in God of War. It's a passion that has earned St. Hilaire, 69, the moniker "Old Grandma Hardcore."


Business Week Online has a feature up entitled Attack of the Gaming Grannies, focusing on gamers over the age of 50. According to research cited in the article, over-50 gamers make up 19% of the gaming market; while those numbers do seem slightly suspicious, the number is definitely increasing. The same research states that 53% of current gamers expect to continue playing games for the next 10 years, which is a bit less surprising. The article is a fun read, getting responses from gamers such as the 69-year-old Barbara St. Hilaire (aka Old Grandma Hardcore), who is currently hard at work mastering God of War (PS2).


oh and the thread title comes from this on shacknews:

"Unconfirmed reports have suggested that these "video games" (otherwise known as "murder simulators") are turning the world's senior citizens into killing machines at an alarming rate."

thought that was funny

so what do you think? will you be playing games when you're a senior citizen? it's not all that far away for me so I'd say ...yes

 

[Greatgat]

"Unconfirmed reports have suggested that these "video games" (otherwise known as "murder simulators") are turning the world's senior citizens into killing machines at an alarming rate."

Somehow the threat of "Senior Killing Machines" doesn't really frighten me. I could TOTALLY take on like, seven grandmothers.

Anyhoo, I think I'll still be playing. My preferences may change, but I can see it.

 

[CptStern]

Somehow the threat of "Senior Killing Machines" doesn't really frighten me. I could TOTALLY take on like, seven grandmothers.
.

not if they had dual sawed off shotguns :sniper:

 

[Shodan]

An interesting question... 'How many angry old people could you beat up?'

I say quite a lot, they're pretty slow, like zombies, its like Day of the Nearly Dead.

 

[swiss_cheese9797]

Senior citizens shouldnt be playing violent video games. Studies have shown they will definately make at least a small percent of them actually commit murder. That's what violent video games do, they make ppl kill. Even if they say they can "handle it" I think we should take these video games away from them and suggest they join church groups or something else that limits what they are allowed to do (and therefore enable them to have complete control over their own lives).

*satire*

 

[Greatgat]

An interesting question... 'How many angry old people could you beat up?'

I say quite a lot, they're pretty slow, like zombies, its like Day of the Nearly Dead.

Like I said, seven on an average day. Maybe even NINE if I did a couple of push-ups earlier.

 

[pvtbones]

I coudl probably beat up like 5 regular angry old people and 2 ninja/pirate angry old peope.

 

[spookymooky]

Senior citizens shouldnt be playing violent video games. Studies have shown they will definately make at least a small percent of them actually commit murder. That's what violent video games do, they make ppl kill. Even if they say they can "handle it" I think we should take these video games away from them and suggest they join church groups or something else that limits what they are allowed to do (and therefore enable them to have complete control over their own lives).

*satire*

Thank goodness you used that *satire* tagish-like thing. I honestly feared for your safety on this forum.

 

[<RJMC>]

I will be playing videogames my whole life

 

[OvA]

When current generations grow elderly, this will be commonplace.

And the whole old-people-can't -use-computers thing will be gone too.

 

[Greatgat]

When current generations grow elderly, this will be commonplace.

And the whole old-people-can't -use-computers thing will be gone too.

I imagined plugging the controller into people's brains, so I just tried an "Old people/Matrix" search on Google Image, and was rather disappointed.

On the other hand, I could have been deeply horrified, so my feelings are mixed.

 

[WhiteZero]

I'm going to be like that when I'm old.
Retirement ftw!

 

[The Mullinator]

Truly the day I hear see an old guy playing a FPS and calling the other guy down the hall of the nursing home a noob will be a wonderful day for me. Maybe he will even get the nurse to sub in while he spends the next 5 minutes trying to take a piss.

I really hope I will be hearing stuff like that once im old.

 

[Greatgat]

Truly the day I hear see an old guy playing a FPS and calling the other guy down the hall of the nursing home a noob will be a wonderful day for me.

I know i'll be doing that for sure!

Wouldn't they call him a "01D"?

...

Curse you, Internet!

 

[Shippi]

.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Hell yeah.

"In my day, we didn't have this direct brain link stuff! Just a screen and a controller!"

"A what?"

"A screen...you know, a...never mind."

 

[DreamThrall]

Stern, "octogenarian" implies that these people are at least 80...

 

[Dr. Freeman]

well Stern...u should know right? i mean ur getting up there eh? :E
kidding!! /me ducks and hides

hmm...just curious, did this research distisinguish(sp?) between console gamers and PC gamers?

 

[CptStern]

Stern, "octogenarian" implies that these people are at least 80...

yes ..hence the "octo" (8) in the word "octogenarian" :E

I just thought it sounded nice


Dr.Freeman: no I think it was gaming in general ..so that probably includes games like solitaire, minesweep and online gambling

 

[Steven]

Truly the day I hear see an old guy playing a FPS and calling the other guy down the hall of the nursing home a noob will be a wonderful day for me. Maybe he will even get the nurse to sub in while he spends the next 5 minutes trying to take a piss.

I really hope I will be hearing stuff like that once im old.

That is a quality post right there.

Personally I find these statistics hard to believe as I have never met anyone over 55 who knows anything about Computers.

 

[swiss_cheese9797]

yeah, When I am 80 and video games are crazy-go-nuts realistic and even past the point of realistic, I'll probably be in a situation where I would say something like "U know what sonny? Back in my day our video games only had 3 dimensions! I tell you what, you kids are spoiled, what with your robotic sneakers, plug and play homes, and your music being plugged directly into your noggins! In my day we had to settle for Ipod nanos, and I tell you what, we were grateful fer it."

 

[$kelet0r]

the noughties rock as far as i'm concerned - tech wise, entertainment wise (sortof)
plus i'm in my prime at 20 :E

 

[Beerdude26]

so that probably includes games like solitaire, minesweep and online gambling

In my time, we didn't have any of this "paper card" crap... just digital pixels on a screen! *grumble*

 

[CyberPitz]

"What the hell is that grandpa?"
"It's an NES, greatest console ever to be built!"
"HAHAHA Look at those graphix, so pre 2050."
"DAMN YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!"

 

[Kmack]

Finally, something to give the elderly that winning edge when their inevitable war against The Robots begins.

("The Robots" can be substituted for any of the following: "The Gays" , "The Internets", or "The Blacks")