New Zealand man 'raped by wombat' claims he now speaks Australian

[Kyorisu]

A NEW Zealand man has been sentenced to community work after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".
Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,23440622-5006301,00.html

 

[Steven]

It was Shasta.

 

[Lucid]

Damn horny wombats.

 

[highlander]

The thread title made me lol.

 

[Krynn72]

Dude, if I could get an Australian accent just by being wombat raped, I'd do it.

 

[soulslicer]

He was raped by a wombat.

 

[Link]

using a phone for a fictitious purpose

*Ring*
Hey honey, I'm working late at the office

Later

*Knock Knock*
Holy shit! What do you want FBI?

 

[Azner]

It was Shasta.

Shastarocket

 

[Bad^Hat]

Hahaha. ****ing southerners, too much Speights.

 

[ríomhaire]

Er...what?!

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

I would laugh so hard if he was serious.

 

[Slug Advisor]

I kept misreading it as 'raped by woman' until everyone started talking about those damn horny wombats.

 

[Stigmata]

The thread title made my day.

 

[AcousticToad]

As one part of a 2 man Wombat enjoyment centre, I approve of this man's claims, as well as the thread title and the fact that it involves wombats and violation.

 

[French Ninja]

Makes shens

 

[CyberPitz]

This is complete bullshit. Everybody knows that people LOVE to **** wombats.

 

[Jintor]

Goddamn kiwis.

Won't stop shagging their own sheep, now they want our wombats, too?

 

[Sneaki]

Goddamn kiwis.

Won't stop shagging their own sheep, now they want our wombats, too?

If you had sheep like ours i'm sure you'd be all over them too..

 

[L3N!N]

lolshasta

 

[Omnomnick]

Why and How does a wombat rape you....

Follow you to the pub and wait for you to get drunk, then wait till everything is quiet then dive on you and rape you....:hmph: don't think so...

 

[taviow]

Oh god I wanted to speak "australian".
But I don't want to be raped by a wombat.
What do I do?

 

[Bad^Hat]

Try commiting a crime for which you are sentenced to a period in jail.

Aha. They speak like criminals because they are criminals, you see? Excellent.

 

[Que-Ever]

croikey, 'es got 'is lil tallywaggler in me bum hole!