15357
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- Joined
- Jan 11, 2005
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My mother had decided that our family - mom, dad, older sister, me - should all get along for a trip.
She, for some reason, decided that I need to interact with different cultures before going off to university. I had my doubts about a package tour of 8 days giving me enough "cultural interaction" to be of help, but we went anyway.
So. There I was. In The Third Reich. Deutschland. Germany.
More specifically, the airport in Munich.
My first meeting with the strange aliens of post-Nazi Germany was with the customs and immigrations officer. It went like this:
"Hallo."
"Hey."
"*Something in the grotesque, alien language that is German*"
"*silence with confused look*"
"Passport."
"Ah."
It was a few hours later that I realized that NOBODY in the whole of non-Great Britain Europe spoke the least amount of English required for human communication. Oh well. So much for "cultural interaction". I knew I should have learned German, Hungarian, Polish, and et cetera before coming.
So, our group, sheparded by our guide, went on the bus, drove to a hotel and slept.
The next day was truly a revelation on the civilization of Europe. I had gone down to the lobby for breakfast. Grabbing a mug, I looked upon the slightly pretty but too tall female Deutschlander with the hot water container.
"Tea?" she asked with a smile.
And lo, behold. Earl Grey was there. Maybe those Europeans weren't all that uncivilized after all.
"Thank you." I replied, holding my mug up to her.
"Milk?" she asked once again, utterly shattering my delusions. So much for civilization. The barbarian girl thought you could drink tea after you'd poisoned it with milk. The horror.
Now, I won't tell you about the places our group went, because I simply hate tourists. The entire gaggle of people with their cameras clicking away at everything in sight. I hate it.
Anyway, we drove to Oesterreich, or Austria, and they had awesome mountains and shit. After that it was Slovakia, Hungary, Czech, Poland and Germany once more. We went to all the sightseeing places, enjoyed the 20-degrees-below-freezing weather, a foot of snow, etc. Lots of cathedrals we went, old buildings, old towns with generic City 17 esque landscapes.
But what captured my attention was Auschwitz.
The camp had a sign on the entrance that said: "Arbeit Macht Frei" or, "Work Brings Freedom". It was an imposing, ugly piece of work. I liked the barbed wire fences, and was surprised to know that it was electrified.
Now, I've read about the horror of Auschwitz, mainly through the book Maus, but it really gets to you when you see it in person. It creeps the **** out of you.
I mean, they had pictures of the Jews and Poles that had died there, and the kids who had their testicals cut off by SS doctors. Jesus H. ****ing Christ.
They also had hair. Hair by the tons of those who had died horribly in that ugly camp. When the tour was over, it was already past 1300, but I didn't feel like eating much.
Anyway, the one thing that truly irked me, were the public restrooms. You pay to go in them.
Is it not a crime against Man and God to charge someone for going to the bathroom? Is it not Cruel and Unusual? Is it not a crime against humanity and all its ideals, hopes, and dreams? Is it not the reason, that the State takes 16% of your income as tax, so that Man might enjoy those inalienable rights to relieve himself in a sheltered building?
Barbarians. All of you.
Anyway, those things aside, it was great. I'd rather have gone hiking up the alps or something, but still. It was awesome.
Anyway, on my second-to-last day in Poland, I had the following conversation:
"(In broken, heavily accented English)Excuse me, but you are not allowed to take that!"
I had inadvertantly tried to steal something. By mistake. I had thought "Frei" meant that I was free to take it, not that I was free to taste the contents.
"Oh sorry." I said, putting the tin back.
Meeting his cold, hard, gaze, I said to lighten the mood:
"Are you going to call the Einsatzgruppen now? Will the führer be pleased?" (This is the gist of it, it wasn't phrased like that)
"Excuse me?" he said, looking severely displeased. It was at this point that I realized that any reference to the National Socialists would be insulting.
"I am Japanese. From Japan."
I briskly walked away.
--------
So, aside from turning on all the heat and lights and putting a DO NOT DISTURB sign before leaving, as to waste their precious energy in order so that my country will be able to climb the economic ladder as they falter, I refrained from doing too much damage.
I was also pleased to note that one could simply communicate by holding up a 5 Euro bill and pointing at consumer products.
I give Eastern Europe 4 out of 5 stars.
****
She, for some reason, decided that I need to interact with different cultures before going off to university. I had my doubts about a package tour of 8 days giving me enough "cultural interaction" to be of help, but we went anyway.
So. There I was. In The Third Reich. Deutschland. Germany.
More specifically, the airport in Munich.
My first meeting with the strange aliens of post-Nazi Germany was with the customs and immigrations officer. It went like this:
"Hallo."
"Hey."
"*Something in the grotesque, alien language that is German*"
"*silence with confused look*"
"Passport."
"Ah."
It was a few hours later that I realized that NOBODY in the whole of non-Great Britain Europe spoke the least amount of English required for human communication. Oh well. So much for "cultural interaction". I knew I should have learned German, Hungarian, Polish, and et cetera before coming.
So, our group, sheparded by our guide, went on the bus, drove to a hotel and slept.
The next day was truly a revelation on the civilization of Europe. I had gone down to the lobby for breakfast. Grabbing a mug, I looked upon the slightly pretty but too tall female Deutschlander with the hot water container.
"Tea?" she asked with a smile.
And lo, behold. Earl Grey was there. Maybe those Europeans weren't all that uncivilized after all.
"Thank you." I replied, holding my mug up to her.
"Milk?" she asked once again, utterly shattering my delusions. So much for civilization. The barbarian girl thought you could drink tea after you'd poisoned it with milk. The horror.
Now, I won't tell you about the places our group went, because I simply hate tourists. The entire gaggle of people with their cameras clicking away at everything in sight. I hate it.
Anyway, we drove to Oesterreich, or Austria, and they had awesome mountains and shit. After that it was Slovakia, Hungary, Czech, Poland and Germany once more. We went to all the sightseeing places, enjoyed the 20-degrees-below-freezing weather, a foot of snow, etc. Lots of cathedrals we went, old buildings, old towns with generic City 17 esque landscapes.
But what captured my attention was Auschwitz.
The camp had a sign on the entrance that said: "Arbeit Macht Frei" or, "Work Brings Freedom". It was an imposing, ugly piece of work. I liked the barbed wire fences, and was surprised to know that it was electrified.
Now, I've read about the horror of Auschwitz, mainly through the book Maus, but it really gets to you when you see it in person. It creeps the **** out of you.
I mean, they had pictures of the Jews and Poles that had died there, and the kids who had their testicals cut off by SS doctors. Jesus H. ****ing Christ.
They also had hair. Hair by the tons of those who had died horribly in that ugly camp. When the tour was over, it was already past 1300, but I didn't feel like eating much.
Anyway, the one thing that truly irked me, were the public restrooms. You pay to go in them.
Is it not a crime against Man and God to charge someone for going to the bathroom? Is it not Cruel and Unusual? Is it not a crime against humanity and all its ideals, hopes, and dreams? Is it not the reason, that the State takes 16% of your income as tax, so that Man might enjoy those inalienable rights to relieve himself in a sheltered building?
Barbarians. All of you.
Anyway, those things aside, it was great. I'd rather have gone hiking up the alps or something, but still. It was awesome.
Anyway, on my second-to-last day in Poland, I had the following conversation:
"(In broken, heavily accented English)Excuse me, but you are not allowed to take that!"
I had inadvertantly tried to steal something. By mistake. I had thought "Frei" meant that I was free to take it, not that I was free to taste the contents.
"Oh sorry." I said, putting the tin back.
Meeting his cold, hard, gaze, I said to lighten the mood:
"Are you going to call the Einsatzgruppen now? Will the führer be pleased?" (This is the gist of it, it wasn't phrased like that)
"Excuse me?" he said, looking severely displeased. It was at this point that I realized that any reference to the National Socialists would be insulting.
"I am Japanese. From Japan."
I briskly walked away.
--------
So, aside from turning on all the heat and lights and putting a DO NOT DISTURB sign before leaving, as to waste their precious energy in order so that my country will be able to climb the economic ladder as they falter, I refrained from doing too much damage.
I was also pleased to note that one could simply communicate by holding up a 5 Euro bill and pointing at consumer products.
I give Eastern Europe 4 out of 5 stars.
****
