I thought it was pretty funny to begin with when I saw it in grad school and then I got a job in an office and realized how true-to-life all of the office crap in the movie really is! Brilliant!
What would you do if you had a million dollars? I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man. That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money. Well, not all chicks. Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do. Good point.
Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake?
Lawrence: Yeah.
Peter Gibbons: You wanna come over?
Lawrence: No, thanks, man. I don't want you ****ing up my life, too.
Peter Gibbons: [about the plan to steal from Initech] Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
Samir: Of course.
Michael Bolton: Agreed
Lawrence: [from the next apartment through wall] Don't worry man. I won't tell anyone about this either.
Michael Bolton: Who the **** is that?
Peter Gibbons: Uh, don't worry about him. He's cool.
Samir: No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window.
Michael Bolton: You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed.
Samir: Piece of shit.
So many little things in that movie are just plain hilarious.
Peter: "...I just get the feeling that she's cheating on me"
Lawrence: "Yeah I get that feelin' too man"
Pter: [looks up concerned] "What's that supposed to mean?"
Lawrence: "Oh, I'm sorry man...she just seems like the kind of chick that....ughh"