OH GOD PLEASE HELP **** ME ****ADUCK

[Orcone101]

MY DICK WAS BURNING

SO I THOUGHT I'D BETTER CLEAN IT, YOU KNOW?
I CLEANED IT WITH ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL AND SALT

I CAN FEEL FOREVER IN MY DICK. ALL ENCOMPASSING PAIN - IT'S LOCATED IN MY DICK

 

[Orcone101]

OH YES FORGOT TO ASK, HOW THE **** DO I STOP THE BURNING?

 

[Stigmata]

What the ****!

Um. Hm. Well first, rinse off your dick. Then apply some lotion. Then refer to this thread for further instructions (eagle eye).

 

[flamingdts]

Your dick is part of your body. Treat it like a body part, not a damn machine.

Now if your penis is burning, it probably means you will lose your dick. I suggest you find the closest prostitude and enjoy it one last time before you progress to womanhood.

 

[Darkside55]

 

[CptStern]

you have to amputate or risk salt poisoning. I'd do it sooner rather than later

use this:

 

[Raziaar]

Is it the type of burning you get when you get soap in it? It'll go away.

 

[Baserape>]

Rub toothpaste over the effected area. This will stop the pain.

 

[Ezra]

I've heard that rubbing cheese and fish all over yourself cures pretty much any dick pain, I think science proved it a few years ago.

 

[Eejit]

Nah, you're thinking of tobasco sauce.

 

[flamingdts]

I heard wasabi works equally well.

 

[Ravioli]

"I heard OP is trolling"

 

[sinkoman]

I heard wasabi works equally well.

Only if you put it directly into the hole. That shit's too weak to just smear on the skin.

 

[Stigmata]

No no, you guys are thinking of pure capsaicin.

 

[Rizzo]

I think someone hijacked his account.

 

[Thunderclap]

Mix all of the aforementioned fluids for best results. If that doesn't work, follow Stern's advice and commence amputation immediately.

 

[Emporius]

^Don't forget the chaser of bear mace. It's very important.

 

[Darkside55]

Alright, alright, enough joking around with the "ha ha, you should put <spicy substance> on it" posts. This man is clearly in pain and we've all had a laugh at his expense, but now I think we should offer him some actual advice.

OP, put bengay on your groin. All over it. Bengay is a pain reliever and it will help you. Just make sure to put it everywhere around the area.

 

[Sheepo]

Darkseid only finds humor in deep emotional pain.

 

[CyberPitz]

Alright, alright, enough joking around with the "ha ha, you should put <spicy substance> on it" posts. This man is clearly in pain and we've all had a laugh at his expense, but now I think we should offer him some actual advice.

OP, put bengay on your groin. All over it. Bengay is a pain reliever and it will help you. Just make sure to put it everywhere around the area.

*Remembers the day he put Icey-Hot on it just to see....never stood in a cold shower so long.

;(

 

[<RJMC>]

just take it like a man and resist it

 

[hot564231]

I did that with a cream like IcyHot once, never been so red.