OMG Christians LAWL

[huntingbear]

So here I am at 10:30 am goofing around the house until 11:30 when i have to leave for class when there's a knock on the door. I answer it...mind you in a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt...to a door to door Christian sales lady or whatever you wanna call her. She gives me the rundown on why God is here for us even in the stressful times we are in and asks how I feel about that.

"Well I'm atheist."
"OH....welllll...um......why don't you take this? Um...maybe it'll help you out with how you feel about things. *hands me some biblical stuff* OKay? Have a nice day!"
"Oh no yeah you too!"

and I didn't want to let her feel like i hated her so I wished her a nice day too but I'm sure she a) thinks I hate here or b) honestly believes I'm going to hell for not believing in a mystical God.

LAWLS....oh i feel bad at the same time as I feel wiser than her....i dunno....what does the almighty FORUM think?

 

[MJ12]

Apparently you've never had a Mormon or Jehovah's Witness come to your door, because that's where the real fun begins.

 

[Mech Man]

Not as bad as Jehovah's witness guys. One time they tried to force their way into my house when I told them I wasn't interested.

Edit : yeah what zombieturtle said.

 

[Darkside55]

HERE WE GO!

I've been waiting all day for this shit! Bring on the religious debate! ENTERTAIN ME!

 

[CptStern]

Apparently you've never had a Mormon or Jehovah's Witness come to your door, because that's where the real fun begins.

^^^- this


remember kiddies, dismemberment starts at home

ps: it's not a crime if they cant find the body

 

[huntingbear]

Not as bad as Jehovah's witness guys. One time they tried to force their way into my house when I told them I wasn't interested.

Edit : yeah what zombieturtle said.

dude that's so messed up! do they realize the moment you say no you can't come in they will be trespassing? they DO think they're better!

^^^- this


remember kiddies, dismemberment starts at home

ps: it's not a crime if they cant find the body

jesus Stern always makes me lol

 

[mortiz-Redux]

Hot christian chick: Hello, have you heard about our church devoted to the love of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?
Me: No, but I've heard about the church of blowme, would you like to join?
Hot christian chick: OK
Me: Then assume the prayer position.
*edited for family viewing*

True story.

 

[Darkside55]

Fuck, HL2, you're not even trying to start a religious argument. What good are you now?

 

[Krynn72]

Darkside, everyone knows god doesnt exist. There is no need anymore.

Also, OP is an idiot and is 14 years old.

 

[Darkside55]

Curse you all to hell, this place is boring and slow enough already, and now you're telling me that we got rid of the last remaining religious zealots on this board so we can't even get an argument going?!

You're boring me to hell, HL2.net!

 

[Raziaar]

My dad's new wife has a scary number of religious books peppered around the house. On top of all the get rich quick scheme books that are also laid out everywhere, I doubt she has time to read them all.

 

[Tyguy]

if you weren't doing anything why not invite the bitch in? Every time she stops talking, ask a question and have her explain as much as possible. Then when you get bored, stand up, look her into the eyes, and say "just ****ing with you, get out".

OR

tell her you subscribe to some other religion and try to recruit her

 

[Eejit]

It's like huntingbear said the magic words to summon Stern back.

 

[Darkside55]

Except that Stern returned more than an hour and a half before this thread.

 

[mchammer75040]

My dad's new wife has a scary number of religious books peppered around the house. On top of all the get rich quick scheme books that are also laid out everywhere, I doubt she has time to read them all.

I am the only one who sees the connection here?? Also yes OP you're an idiot.

 

[Eejit]

Except that Stern returned more than an hour and a half before this thread.

An side-effect of his near Ascension I presume.

 

[Higlac]

Curse you all to hell, this place is boring and slow enough already, and now you're telling me that we got rid of the last remaining religious zealots on this board so we can't even get an argument going?!

No, there's still some left. Just these last ones aren't stupid enough to start multi-quoting stern.

 

[Darkside55]

They're no good to me then.

 

[nurizeko]

So here I am at 10:30 am goofing around the house until 11:30 when i have to leave for class when there's a knock on the door. I answer it...mind you in a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt...to a door to door Christian sales lady or whatever you wanna call her. She gives me the rundown on why God is here for us even in the stressful times we are in and asks how I feel about that.

"Well I'm atheist."
"OH....welllll...um......why don't you take this? Um...maybe it'll help you out with how you feel about things. *hands me some biblical stuff* OKay? Have a nice day!"
"Oh no yeah you too!"

and I didn't want to let her feel like i hated her so I wished her a nice day too but I'm sure she a) thinks I hate here or b) honestly believes I'm going to hell for not believing in a mystical God.

LAWLS....oh i feel bad at the same time as I feel wiser than her....i dunno....what does the almighty FORUM think?

Why do you over-think this shit?.


Just say "not interested" and close the door.

It boggles the mind when I see people struggling to just tell a solicitor to **** off when they clearly don't want what they are peddling.

 

[jverne]

i have a plan how to get a new inflow of religious retards. but i'll need some help.

the plan is to join a religious forum or similar site, preferably with more youngsters and depict HL2.net as a cesspool of evil atheists who rape religion. your part would be to make some threads bashing Christianity in the style of a 14 y.o. then when they join and start debating we can pwn them with our superior intellect

if Christians will not be as rabid as predicted then we can always turn to islam.

to keep the controversial factor, pics or videos of pissing on bibles/korans, ass wiping and other blasphemous material is highly welcome.


i think it's the only short term plan that could provide us with enough fresh blood to keep us nourished.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

I always get me copy of the watch tower from the nice Jehova's witness ladies that show up. They know me by name. Each copy goes into my pile of crazy bible-stuff, right next to my pile of maps of gay night clubs in Italy.

 

[Sheepo]

i have a plan how to get a new inflow of religious retards. but i'll need some help.

the plan is to join a religious forum or similar site, preferably with more youngsters and depict HL2.net as a cesspool of evil atheists who rape religion. your part would be to make some threads bashing Christianity in the style of a 14 y.o. then when they join and start debating we can pwn them with our superior intellect

if Christians will not be as rabid as predicted then we can always turn to islam.

to keep the controversial factor, pics or videos of pissing on bibles/korans, ass wiping and other blasphemous material is highly welcome.


i think it's the only short term plan that could provide us with enough fresh blood to keep us nourished.

Or, maybe, we could not go out of our way to be dicks to people simply because they have different beliefs.

 

[jverne]

Or, maybe, we could not go out of our way to be dicks to people simply because they have different beliefs.

but where's the fun of that?


there was a study that showed if you regularly laugh at religious people you will live longer and have better health.

here's the research data

 

[FireStarter]

Moi: Hello?
Some weird chick who looks like an emo but is peppy and freaky: Hi there!
Moi: Uh, can I help you?
Chick: Yes, have you heard the good news?
Moi: Yes, I have.
Chick: Oh, that was a line from a movie. You were supposed to laugh.
Moi: Um. Yeah.
Chick: So, anyway, I just want to let you know that He is among us, and we're being judged and such.
Moi: Yeah, I've heard it all before.
Chick: Oh, have you? Are you a witness too?
Moi: No, I'm a Nihilist.
Chick: A what? Do tell!
Moi: Okay, you know how some say "the glass is half full or empty"?
Chick: Yeeeeah.
Moi: Well, I think that the cup doesn't exist and neither do I.
Chick: Interesting, interesting.

She shut my door for me.

I love telling people who come to my door things like that. Mostly because it's partly true.

 

[MJ12]

When I was in 10th grade I took my Bible that each student was required to have and I tore out the pages and blew snot into them...

Yeah, I thought I was so ****ing edgy.

 

[Dog--]

ZT, I wish I could be 1/4 as hardcore as you.

 

[MJ12]

You can be, for only 3 easy payments of $19.95

 

[Dog--]

Ok, do you accept debit card + my pin?

 

[MJ12]

No, I just need to know where you live so I can... send the bill.

 

[mchammer75040]

but where's the fun of that?


there was a study that showed if you regularly laugh at religious people you will live longer and have better health.

here's the research data

Nice flow chart there but I saw it comin. Also This thread is ****in retarded and sheepo is right.

 

[Sheepo]

 

[Hectic Glenn]

And that's a perfect note to finish this thread on. God bless you all.