Penis thefts on the rise in african capital

[CptStern]

what? if you think that headline is confusing try the original:

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

what?

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

FFS WHAT???


the icing on the cake:

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

oh dear god!!! that must mean there's a penis snatching epidemic on Hl2.net because you all dont measure up (or so I'm told by your significant others)


I swear you cant make this shit up

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080422..._witchcraft;_ylt=Avkst9Tv1s39rKvh6iSLGsMDW7oF

 

[Remus]

http://www.halflife2.net/forums/showthread.php?t=141624

 

[FoxDie]

:|:frown:;(

 

[Xendance]

You were beaten to it, sorry.

 

[xcellerate]

I bet it's a herd of angry women all tired of having their cervix poked by blessed african men.

 

[Deleted member 56031]

Am I the only one thinking of the futurama episode where fry loses his nose?

 

[Dan]

For shame Stern, FOR SHAME

We need an appropriate punishment for your negligence.

 

[CptStern]

http://www.halflife2.net/forums/showthread.php?t=141624

ok the thread title is a little open to interpretation but I see what you mean ...<stabs remus, stuffs body under potted plant in hallway>

For shame Stern, FOR SHAME

We need an appropriate punishment for your negligence.

<poof> you now share something in common with John bobbit (or lack of something)

<re-adjusts sorcerer hat>

 

[-Psy-]

Thanks for the heads up.

 

[<RJMC>]

omg I beated stern in something without even trying

 

[Slug Advisor]

omg I beated stern in something without even trying

Don't go there man. It's not worth it...

 

[A-Bike]

Wow, I'll remember to put mine in the garage at night

 

[CptStern]

omg I beated stern in something without even trying

are you familiar with the term "Columbian Necktie?"

 

[Vegeta897]

Are you familiar with the term "Sore Loser"?

 

[AJ Rimmer]

are you familiar with the term "Columbian Necktie?"

It's that like the "Downhill tricycle"? Cause if so, I've tried it...

 

[CptStern]

not unless downhill tricycle is anything like this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colombian_necktie

 

[Emporius]

You bastard I was eating when I opened that!

 

[Seppo]

this is too hilarious. can't indeed make this shit up.