Rant: cheap trick after cheap trick, stupid behavior after stupid behavior

jverne

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Since i'm on a horror movie frenzy lately i want to talk about methods of directing.
I got the movie "The Descent" which i thought it would kick ass, but it turned out to be a facepalm fest.

Things to do less in horror movies or not at all:

1. Get a bunch of amateurs do something way beyond their means
2. Have no ****ing plan whatsoever
3. Do things that make absolutely no practical sense
4. Go under equipped and mal prepared
5. Use screamers (things that pop up instantly) to scare the audience
6. Do the most illogical dumb ass thing in the most inappropriate moment
7. Make sure you have at least one or two idiots on your journey, stupid kids are the best pick
8. Defy the laws of nature in the most outrageous manner
9. Cheap drama, like ****ING CREATURES EVOLVED TO LIVE IN CAVES THAT CAN'T ****ING FIND THEIR PENIS IN THE DARK, LET ALONE TWO (HOT) CHICKS LITERALLY INCHES AWAY!!! This is not a spoiler but a warning so you don't hit your forehead too hard.

I could go on and on.

Seriously, future directors...have some standards!

As for the movie, it was quality as far as effects/acting/scenery...by acting i mean the girls could act but the script writer needs a kick in the balls.

In retrospect Pandorum had very few cheap tricks.


But in all seriousness...do you know anyone who panicked in RL?

I was in the situation not that many times. The first time when i was like 10 we went forest exploring and i was wearing
reef_maryanne_sandals.jpg

so when we got somewhat lost and it started to become somwehat uncomfortable i started crying. But then i calmed down and completed the journey :D (we repeated that again but this time i was properly equipped...went quite smoothly)
More recent events:
I was going down a hill with my car turned off, after going 100kph i realized the brakes don't work (i didn't knew the brakes don't work if the car is turned off) so i waited for a strait piece and hit the handbrake, it turned me 180 degrees but i managed to stop. I guess it's worth mentioning the road was on a cliff side (yeah...it could have sucked really bad).
I had quite a lot of close calls on the road, surprisingly most of the time i keep my cool, but that's probably a consequence of the former.
Last year i went rock climbing and got stuck in a crevice, i kinda panicked for a short time but you regain control.
I might have stressed out a bit when we went skiing on an untracked (word?) slope.
That's all i can remember right now, i'm sure there were other occasions.

I must admit that i'm one of those couch adventurers...as in, i don't do it often but when i do it i usually push myself over the limit and end up hurt or something. Eh...

Point is...panic is all in your head, you learn to control it by experience and by good mental planning.

I want to go this summer cave exploring so badly, but i have friends that are afraid of the dark, damn it.
But ok i'm at least going to do the rock climbing license. The plan was scuba diving but that thing is expensive as hell.
Oh another year, another great opportunity to get stitches or break a leg. :upstare:

Oh and if you're gonna explore places where there are monsters bring knives, big knives.
 
The scariest part of Descent was when she was physically stuck in the cave, a mile underground in a small narrow passage. I'm not even claustrophobic and that freaked the shit out of me.
 
Why the hell were you going down a cliffside road with your car turned off?
 
saving gas, lol

Pennies for this stretch of hill I'll be coasting down without my engine on... or my life.

Pennies... or my life... pennis or my life. PENNIES OR MY LIFE OH MY GOD THE DECISION IS TOO TOUGH!
 
Pennies for this stretch of hill I'll be coasting down without my engine on... or my life.

Pennies... or my life... pennis or my life. PENNIES OR MY LIFE OH MY GOD THE DECISION IS TOO TOUGH!
This post is bloody hilarious if you omit the second N :LOL:
 
Yeah, its kinda hard to take advice from someone who goes 100kph down a hill in a car that is off and spins himself out using a handbrake, on a cliffside road... just to save gas.
 
Yeah, its kinda hard to take advice from someone who goes 100kph down a hill in a car that is off and spins himself out using a handbrake, on a cliffside road... just to save gas.

:E:E:E:E

Much lols were had.
 
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