Ames
Newbie
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2003
- Messages
- 5,618
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"Can I get a cup of coffee? Lots of milk and sugar," muttered the 23-year old wannabe hand model as she sheepishly handed her crisp five dollar bill to the dorky-yet-cute new barrista boy working at her neighborhood Starbucks. She stared down, trying not to make eye contact as her knees weakened at her newfound crush.
She sat down at a window seat, sweeping away the various donut crumbs left by the balding plump warehouse manager who had just exited the store, accompanied by the annoying ding of the bell cleverly tied to the door. She feigned a social emergency with her disconnected, yet deliciously pink cell phone and took a quick glance over to the marble counter. They made eye contact, the coffee boy giving a fake flight attendant smile back before turning back.
As he prepared a piping hot fresh-brewed cup of joe, the hot girl who had been staring at him was beginning to peak his interest. He remembered the information his internet friends had told him about encounters with girls. He was told to be brave and just do it, destroying his nearly 20 years old tradition of shyness. It was the first girl that was probably interested in him since he left college a few months ago and he was not going to let this opportunity go to waste.
He turned around and bellowed out to his audience of coffee drinkers, "Number 83." He watched nervously as she got up from her table and put her cell phone back in her purse. His heart beat faster and faster as she neared the counter.
"Hey, do you want to go out?" he muttered.
"What?"
"I said, 'Do you want to go out?'"
His brain slowly materialized back into his body. Its logic machines grinding fast in lieu of his nervous outburst, "Good job, loser. You just asked her to 'go out'. What are you, a five-year-old?"
"Uhhh, whatever." She feigned a smile and pushed her arm hastily towards the cup.
Time seemed to pause just for a second as the cup majestically soared backwards towards the hapless coffee boy's smock. Their mouths gaped open in shock and awe.
He jumped up into the air, his voice sounded a terrifying harpy's screech, a deafening cry of anguish, pain, and love.
"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WHAT THE ****ING ****. JESUS GODDAMN HOLY SHIT. MY GODDAMN BALLS. YOU ****ING SPILLED COFFEE OVER MY GODDAMN DICK. WHAT THE **** IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU STUPID ****ING BITCH!"
His testicles exploded in pain, his reproductive organs unable to handle the boiling hot java that kicked him in the nuts. He leaped over the counter and hit the hard tiled floor next to her legs with a thud.
Not willing to waste a good cup of coffee at the ridiculously high, she pulled the unconscious boy onto his knees and propped him up on to the donut crumb table. She started licking the still dripping coffee stain on his crotch, savoring every single hot, sugary, milky, sexy, sperm-filled drip.
"God damn, that's some good Hot Coffee."
She sat down at a window seat, sweeping away the various donut crumbs left by the balding plump warehouse manager who had just exited the store, accompanied by the annoying ding of the bell cleverly tied to the door. She feigned a social emergency with her disconnected, yet deliciously pink cell phone and took a quick glance over to the marble counter. They made eye contact, the coffee boy giving a fake flight attendant smile back before turning back.
As he prepared a piping hot fresh-brewed cup of joe, the hot girl who had been staring at him was beginning to peak his interest. He remembered the information his internet friends had told him about encounters with girls. He was told to be brave and just do it, destroying his nearly 20 years old tradition of shyness. It was the first girl that was probably interested in him since he left college a few months ago and he was not going to let this opportunity go to waste.
He turned around and bellowed out to his audience of coffee drinkers, "Number 83." He watched nervously as she got up from her table and put her cell phone back in her purse. His heart beat faster and faster as she neared the counter.
"Hey, do you want to go out?" he muttered.
"What?"
"I said, 'Do you want to go out?'"
His brain slowly materialized back into his body. Its logic machines grinding fast in lieu of his nervous outburst, "Good job, loser. You just asked her to 'go out'. What are you, a five-year-old?"
"Uhhh, whatever." She feigned a smile and pushed her arm hastily towards the cup.
Time seemed to pause just for a second as the cup majestically soared backwards towards the hapless coffee boy's smock. Their mouths gaped open in shock and awe.
He jumped up into the air, his voice sounded a terrifying harpy's screech, a deafening cry of anguish, pain, and love.
"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WHAT THE ****ING ****. JESUS GODDAMN HOLY SHIT. MY GODDAMN BALLS. YOU ****ING SPILLED COFFEE OVER MY GODDAMN DICK. WHAT THE **** IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU STUPID ****ING BITCH!"
His testicles exploded in pain, his reproductive organs unable to handle the boiling hot java that kicked him in the nuts. He leaped over the counter and hit the hard tiled floor next to her legs with a thud.
Not willing to waste a good cup of coffee at the ridiculously high, she pulled the unconscious boy onto his knees and propped him up on to the donut crumb table. She started licking the still dripping coffee stain on his crotch, savoring every single hot, sugary, milky, sexy, sperm-filled drip.
"God damn, that's some good Hot Coffee."
