Semi depressing problem

[Kitfox]

I need help... I'm feeling a little depressed.

It kind of stupid really. But all my life my family (parents) have isolated me from everything. I'd always stay at home and go with them on trips and stuff like that. Until today.

It's really stupid but it's really buggin me. See theyw ent on a 2 day camping trip with my sibiling I forced my self to stay behind... even though they were using psychological tricks in order to make me go. They were really dissapointed and seemed to act as if I ruined there trip.

I don't really know why I decided to be so stuborn and stay home. but i'm 18 and rediculusly decided I need to make a decision and stick to it. For some reason it really pains me now that I did.

I need to know do you guys think it was a good idea or a bad idea.

 

[Dalamari]

I could understand that your parents are a tad sad you decided not to go, but they should accept your choice and live with it. Just make up for it, clean the house really good or something.

 

[Beast206]

With all situations like this, the best solution is just to talk to the family about it. Let them know how you felt, and decided, for whatever reason, that you did not want to go. Is's really best to get situations like that resolved before anything starts to fester. Let them know that you are an adult, and felt the need to assert your own decision. Then discuss. *shrug*

Anywho.. hope it gets resolved for ya one way or another.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Don't ask us for justification, it can only build you up for a big fall. Like beast said, talk to your family. I don't personally know your situation, but I do know that I try to do what my parents say. They always tell me that because I am now 18 I can choose most things for myself now, but that doesn't mean I still don't do what they would like. Even if they don't tell me, I do what they want because thats just me. Don't take that as any kind of condemnation though, because like I said, thats just me.

 

[CyberSh33p]

I voted no, but we need more context really. Did you oppose going so much? spurning them for the sake of spurning them isn't a great choice, but if they annoy you a whole lot or you detest camping or something its understandable, don't let them force you to do something you hate.

 

[Beast206]

I voted no, but we need more context really. Did you oppose going so much? spurning them for the sake of spurning them isn't a great choice, but if they annoy you a whole lot or you detest camping or something its understandable, don't let them force you to do something you hate.

Agreed. Just talk it out to set the record straight though.

 

[Burn]

I dont understand a word of that. But personally I think we all got problems, most of us are smart enough to sort them out ourselves and not whine in a forum about it... meh.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

How very condecending of you You could look at it another way...By combining the emotional madness of all the people you know, you may see some clarity arise in how to deal with the situation.

 

[Immortal]

If you were going to uni or something because you're 18 (just asuming ) then i would say they wanted a last sort of holiday before you left. Same thing happened with my sister before she left for uni.

 

[Kitfox]

Don't ask us for justification, it can only build you up for a big fall. Like beast said, talk to your family. I don't personally know your situation, but I do know that I try to do what my parents say. They always tell me that because I am now 18 I can choose most things for myself now, but that doesn't mean I still don't do what they would like. Even if they don't tell me, I do what they want because thats just me. Don't take that as any kind of condemnation though, because like I said, thats just me.

See thats how i've been all my life.. but suddenly out of no where i decided to be very stuborn and now i'm begining to sort of regret it.

I don't know why i decided to stay... all i know is that the camping trips are never fun for me. I always am very bored and lonely mostly because there is no one there for me to do somthing with...

 

[Neutrino]

Seriously, don't worry about it and move on. It's best not to sweat the small stuff. Probably the best thing you can do is just explain to your parents why you chose not to go. If they understand great, if not oh well. It's your life.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I think maybe, even if you didn't realise it, you felt you needed to stand up for yourself. Like I said, I don't know your situation, but sometimes we need to do things like that. I would say, don't worry about whether it is right or wrong. You have done it now, and that will never change. Don't let your past rule your future, and when you see your parents again, talk to them about it and tell them how you felt. Try to figure out why you did it, and if you have a clear enough reason I'm sure they will understand.


Edit: Heh, neutrino got there first

 

[Kitfox]

If you were going to uni or something because you're 18 (just asuming ) then i would say they wanted a last sort of holiday before you left. Same thing happened with my sister before she left for uni.

I am going to uni... but i'll be living at home. And thats another thing.. universoty idea is really stressfull for me and all i want to do is sit at home and relax until it is time...

 

[Burn]

Hold on.. there was a camping trip and you did'nt go, so now your depressed? Geez.. sorry to say but there you should'nt get depressed over something so stupid.

 

[Beast206]

I don't know why i decided to stay... all i know is that the camping trips are never fun for me. I always am very bored and lonely mostly because there is no one there for me to do somthing with...

There's the answer then.. explain that to your parents tactfully.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Hold on.. there was a camping trip and you did'nt go, so now your depressed? Geez.. sorry to say but there you should'nt get depressed over something so stupid.

Are you completely missing the point? Its ot the camping trip, its the fact he didn't do what his parents wanted him to do. He feels bad for going against their wishes, and I don't know about you, but I see that as quite admirable really...

 

[Burn]

He said no to his parents, and is he 18? God he is not a child, saying no to your parents at 18 is normall.

Ok I think I got the point now, but sorry Sparrow, I still dont see what the big issue is, he is an adult, he should'nt be pulled around on a leesh by his parents anymore anyway.

 

[Kitfox]

Hold on.. there was a camping trip and you did'nt go, so now your depressed? Geez.. sorry to say but there you should'nt get depressed over something so stupid.

I know... but it was a family trip.. and i felt like i was ruining it for everyone as i was doing it... but i did it anyway.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Yes, that is right...But respecting what your parents want, not just as parents but as people is no bad thing. I mean, if your friend feels like doing something you don't you might go along anyway just to make them happy. Then they can return the favour some other time.

 

[Immortal]

Their isnt really anything right or wrong that you did. 18 is a strange age, your really an adult but you are also stil a child to your parents eyes so it can be a bit difficult.

 

[Kitfox]

thanks guys this has actually been pretty help ful..

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Yeah...Call me old fasioned But I always thought 21 was a better age for true adulthood really. I mean, in certain ways anyway, it jsut seems that you will be more mature really.

 

[Dedalus]

don't let them grind you down, because this will now be a psychological barrier for you to overcome for the rest of your life. parents are the root of all neurosis.

a little poem i found that might suit your situation (it clicked into me perfectly and at the right time).

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
They **** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

 

[Beast206]

I figured I'd hit "adulthood" after I divorced my wife and woke up in the back of my neighbors pickup in my boxers.

 

[Immortal]

I think you only become a true adult when you leave home and become compleatly dependant (exluding those sad 30-year-olds that live with their mothers )

 

[ShadowFox]

That is such a depressing poem. What are you trying to do? Turn him into an anti-social?

 

[Dedalus]

That is such a depressing poem. What are you trying to do? Turn him into an anti-social?

Larkin isn't a melancholic poet he specialises in satire, which is what that is.

it just helped me at a time when i wasn't old enough to articulate my feelings into words. thought it might do some good here *shrugs*

 

[Immortal]

yes that peoms a bit strange, parents have to live with us for 18 years, give a little respect.

 

[KidRock]

if you 18 then you shouldnt have to go on family trips if you dont want to.

 

[mortiz]

I stayed behind when my parent's went away for a week (I'm 18 also) a couple of months ago, and it was the first time I'd ever stayed behind. They just had to deal with it in my opinion, personally I couldn't care less because they like going to hot countries and lazing around on the beach all the day when I hate that.

 

[ShadowFox]

My mother went to Florida while me, my pops and a friend went to Cedar Point. She felt a little bad, but we all agreed she would have hated Cedar Point.

Things have a tendancy of working out.

 

[B.Calhoun]

Well theres always the next trip, right?

Spending quality time with yourself aint bad.