Side-hugs are for good christians, front hugs are for faggits/sinners

CptStern

CptStern

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Attention, Christian kids: If you like not having sex, not speaking the Lord’s name in vain, and not being gay, then you’ll love the newest trend in policing typical adolescent behaviors in the name of God. It’s called the The Christian Side-Hug, and it’s here to help the devout avoid the temptation of full frontal hugging. Don’t worry—it’s cool, because they made a “rap” song about it.


According to Stuff Christians Like, there’s no “exact scripture reference” banning normal hugging. But the Side-Hug does significantly lower the “risk of two crotches touching,” which has got to be in the Bible somewhere.
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lol, this has Poe's law written all over it but sometimes truth is stranger than fiction

click link to view rap video of why not to hug

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/...-christian-side-hug-front-hugs-be-too-sinful/
 
What the hell was with the end, they all got shot?

Seems that portraying violence is fine, hugging from the front isnt...

EDIT: I suppose its worth pointing out it was posted on a satirical website
 
Hey, I'm a rough rider filled with Christ's love!


Thought it was a joke... but it's very hard to tell, this isn't uncharacteristic of Christians.
 
Its worth pointing out that there wasn't a black person in that christian rap group.
 
I thought I heard the audience laughing. I can't imagine this is real. Looked like a SNL sketch recording or something.
 
^

Do I hear the Imperial March in the background?!
 
Lol, Christians.
*Looks at self*
I'm one. Lol me.

But seriously? Is that what goes on in the west? Its either you're so wrong its freaky to me or you're somewhat so right its also freaky.
 
what if its a front hug to a woman? is considered gay if genitals touch too?

*christian kids find a girl and a boy kissing*

christian kid: ewww you are such a ******!
 
not gay; tempting. they may be tempted to have sex right then and there. no but really this is the reason; some christians believe any contact could lead to sin
 
CptStern said:
not gay; tempting. they may be tempted to have sex right then and there. no but really this is the reason; some christians believe any contact could lead to sin
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Except Chrsitians should believe that all people are born with sin, and blah blah blah forgiven etc.

Nowadays they try too hard to completely AVOID sin rather than atoning for what they do do.
 
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