small talk

Doppelgofer

Doppelgofer

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its dawned on me very recently that small talk is something i have a problem with. small talk and general chit chat with people i don't know reight well

an example is taxi drivers....most people will say stuff like GOOD NIGHT PAL WHAT TIME YOU CLOCK OFF etc

i see it as pointless bollocks

i think it must be because i lack a certain social skill. i see people talk absolute bollocks to other people all the time and i think how can you just talk shit to that person? its so pointless

am i alone?
 
It serves its purpose. A lot of times if people dont say anything at all, its just awkward.

I usually just wait for them to say something though. If they dont, then I dont say anything either.

The only time I start conversations is if I have something good to say.
 
Sometimes you learn interesting things talking to taxi drivers. I personally think you should engage in small talk to find something in common with said person and I dunno learn or get free stuff.
 
i used to, quite a lot, but i've always had this thing at the back of my mind saying that small talk is so stupidly pointless and its only very recently that i've started to act on it

i'd rather feel uncomfortable than engage someone in conversation and then have nothing else to say because i can't think of anything else to say

i'm a fair tough nut to crack though...it takes a lot to get to know me i think. once your a friend of mine though, i think i'm very easy to talk to
 
Society, like any complex machinery, requires lubrication. Small talk is part of that.
 
I hate small talk, DESPISE it, but I am able to participate / initiate it.. as much as it generally frustrates the shit out of me. I can't really explain why I hate it so much I just do.
 
babyheadcrab said:
I hate small talk, DESPISE it, but I am able to participate / initiate it.. as much as it generally frustrates the shit out of me. I can't really explain why I hate it so much I just do.
Click to expand...

i think we're on a peer

mood dependant, i can be chatty in small talk. i do hate it though
 
Looks like you don't have the nice warm clouds of self-delusion most people have.

That or you're slightly knurd.
 
Small talk is stupid. Which is probably why it's so hard for me to meet people and befriend them. Once I figure out that I have some common ground with someone, I open up, but actually going about finding that common ground is pretty absurd.

I don't really feel comfortable striking up a random conversation with a random person. I dunno, maybe if we all wore nametags that said stuff like "Hi, my name is DAVID, I like VIDEO GAMES" it'd be a shit ton easier.

[edit] And small talk with friends kind of annoys me. Not in small doses, but with a few people back in high school, I found that over time the amount of pre-conversation small talk actually compounded upon itself. It started out as a simple "Hey, what's up" "Not much, I was just etc" kind of thing, but eventually built to something like this:

"Hey"
"Yo"
"what's up"
"not a lot, you"
"same, how've you been"
"good, and you"
"i'm alright, whatchu up to"
"nothin much, you"
"yeah me too, how's school"
"pretty good, you"
"yeah mine's ok"

And THEN the conversation started. It was retarded.
 
if i had that conversation on the phone i'd probably hang up :|


I can't stand small talk either. You don't have anything to say, then don't talk and remain in silence..? ;p
 
Personally I don't like gobshites. If you've got nothing to say, don't open your mouth and make it evident. Things like asking taxi drivers what time they're on till, and if they've been busy. Who cares?

Don't say nothing, just say what's on your mind ...
 
Sometimes people will ask you a pointless question like "What have you been upto?" because they have something they want to share, which will lead off you asking the same question to them. Personally, I don't need a prompt. If I ask, I want to know. Its the Instant Messsaging small talk that gets me. "WUBU2?" HATE
 
Yeah, I hate that, but I'm afriad it's a vital part of today's social life.

Every Monday, without exceptions, starts like this:

- Hey
- Hello
- Have you done anything funny in the weekend?
- Yeah, I've been...blah,blah,blah... you?
- Yeah, I've been...

The whole point of small talk is to say what you wanna say. You don't actually give a shit what the other person gets to say, you're just waitng for your turn. You will mess things up if you don't ask "you?" after every answer, because then they won't be able to say what they want to say, and thus the entire conversation will be useless.
 
I don't ever listen to what taxi drivers have to say unless they ask me how to get somewhere they don't know where it is.Small talk is just trying to start up a conversation.But i hate talking to taxi drivers anyway.Say something worthwhile or just shut the hell up.
 
I've been trying to improve my small talk. It's a valuable skill, I know alot of people though who always fill quiet gaps with small talk, they end up saying stuff like 'look at that sheep' when theres a sheep in a field just for something to say.
 
"It's better to remain silent and let people wonder whether you're an idiot or not than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

That's what I always think, but being the "silent bob" doesn't get you far in life, from my experience.
 
Dax said:
"It's better to remain silent and let people wonder whether you're an idiot or not than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

That's what I always think, but being the "silent bob" doesn't get you far in life, from my experience.
Click to expand...
Actually, it's "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

...I'll shut up now.
 
I see it as something inevitable when talking to certain people. I don't have small talk with my real friends.
 
Agree with many here.

I'm not a fan of small talk at all, infact i'm shite at it. The problem being that, as a result, it's quite easy to give a first impression of being detached, aloof, even rude. My current gf (of ten years yesterday :)) thought I was a complete and utter tosser intially.

I undersand it's necessary - feigning an interest in mundane bollox, probing for similarities to build on - but the process is so dull and, for me, awkward.

Have you ever found yourself thinking 'i've got enough friends anyways, I don't need to bother talking to this person'?
 
Taxi Drivers in my experience though are awesome. Although sometimes you don't have to say much, but just listening to them is fascinating.

It's always possible though that if you listened to any random on the street you'd get something along the same lines.
 
I hate small talk too, ao I try not to say anything. If I want to say something I usually think "can this go somewhere interesting?" before actually saying it.
Me and my good friends like Ashley though usually have something to talk about. It's not usually small talk, but it's something that we talk about a lot and regularily, whereas me and my best friend Bryn pretty much already know what we're both going to say so our conversations are usually pretty short.

I especially hate small talk around girls, specially ones I like. It's like you think they expect you to be interesting, so you try and think of interesting things to say. Pisses me off :(
 
This is honestly one of my worst developed skills, I never know what to talk about. Once I break the ice though it's sometimes hard to shut me up, I've just gotta get a report (sp?) going, wherein lies the challenge.
 
rapport

The Book 'instant rapport' might be of some use.
 
As much as I hate it, it's pretty much necessary at times.
 
Small talk is actually one of the greatest things ever developed. Don't think of it as the entire talk, but the spark that creates a conversation. Look into it, and find hooks in what people are saying.

"Hello."
"Hi.
"How's life?"
"Pretty sameish. Bought a couple of CDs this weekend."

And there's your hook - music. From there, you can find out what music they like, and drop in that you're in a band, etc etc.

-Angry Lawyer
 
It's okay. Sometimes I'll use small talk without actually meaning to. For example, there's this hamburger joint (caravan) that's often at parties. If I'm at that party, I'll just ask how business goes, if there's a lot of people, etc. From that information I'll derive if the party is going good or bad, and, depending on the time, if more or less people will arrive (and thus know if it'll get overcrowded or danceable inside), and so on.

Small talk for no reason pisses me off, though. Nothing worse than people who tell (sometimes interesting) stuff to each other, but aren't even intent on using the information for anything else than creating sound waves in the air.
 
Do what I do, move onto the Big Talk as quickly as possible.
 
I don't do much with people I barely know, so I usually have a lot to talk about because I actually know the people I am talking with, and am genuinely interested in what they have been up to lately etc.

Small talk with people I don't know at all? That's a bit tougher...but it's wide open I guess.

In the past I've worked as a cashier at a grocery store - now that's tough.
 
lePobz said:
Don't say nothing, just say what's on your mind ...
Click to expand...

To a taxi driver - 'Get me there FAST or i'll ****ing knife ya!'

:O

Angry Lawyer said:
Small talk is actually one of the greatest things ever developed. Don't think of it as the entire talk, but the spark that creates a conversation. Look into it, and find hooks in what people are saying.

"Hello."
"Hi.
"How's life?"
"Pretty sameish. Bought a couple of CDs this weekend."

And there's your hook - music. From there, you can find out what music they like, and drop in that you're in a band, etc etc.

-Angry Lawyer
Click to expand...

AL speaks wisely, small talk is essential as it quickly allows you to talk about something you pick up on that they mention. They bought CDs, ask what they got, start chatting about music for a bit then in starts snowballing as other things get brought up in the conversation and eventually BANG you have them in your bed :D
 
Jintor said:
Taxi Drivers in my experience though are awesome. Although sometimes you don't have to say much, but just listening to them is fascinating.

It's always possible though that if you listened to any random on the street you'd get something along the same lines.
Click to expand...

Uncle ochet load.

Ok.

[hokkien]To radio: Eh, what the longest to reach ochet and pass many erp arh?[/hokkien]

I listen to them do that shit all the time :D and foil them :D
 
Sometimes people ask you "what are you up to" or "how is life" because they genuinely want to know.
 
Sulkdodds said:
Sometimes people ask you "what are you up to" or "how is life" because they genuinely want to know.
Click to expand...
Yes, but sometimes they don't and you end up rambling about the inherent philosophical truths in life and all they wanted was to borrow your pen.
 
@ AL, small talk on music I can do. Pretty much anyone who I'm possibly going to have a rapport (woo) with is usually into more or less the same kind of stuff as me, so no difficulty there. And it's an easy one to back-and-forth with cause you can spend a good deal of time just spitting band names and going "yeah, awesome" without getting into what might constitute a real discussion, and you might even learn something about the person in the process.

Come to think of it, I always have small talk with the guys at the music store I like to frequent (well, try and frequent... stupid easy pirating). It's nice to be able to talk drummers with someone - that being probably the one thing I actually know too much about - and have them follow you instead of just nodding along (or, like my guitarist friend, just stare blankly until I stop talking - little does he know it only spurs me on :)).

On the other hand, every time I visit the dairy around the corner it's always the same monologue. "Hey", "Sure", "Thanks", "See ya man." And then mentally reminding myself never to become a dairy owner.
 
babyheadcrab said:
I hate small talk, DESPISE it, but I am able to participate / initiate it.. as much as it generally frustrates the shit out of me. I can't really explain why I hate it so much I just do.
Click to expand...

Same here. I'm fairly well-off socially and I don't usually have a problem with small talk, but it feels so asinine and superficial all the time... though I guess it's necessary
 
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